A small plane crashed yesterday in New Mexico's Lake Heron, and there are no reports of survivors. However, shortly after the crash, police told the Santa Fe New Mexican that "several packages began surfacing," referring to packages of cocaine. Police have cordoned off the area and will dutifully report every last gram of cocaine that is retrieved from the lake.
If you're going to do jail time in Afghanistan the prison in Kandahar is probably your best bet. Because as long as you can withstand some (alleged!) torture, you might get a reduced sentence before you even know it. Al Jazeera reports that around 500 men escaped from the prison last night and this morning through a 350-meters-long tunnel. A Taliban spokesman told the Times that 541 escapees were a mix of commanders and fighters, and that "they are all in safe havens."
Members of Congress are back in their districts, attending town hall events, explaining to their constituents why, exactly, they want to make such major changes to the health care system.
The ridicule heaped on Scott Adams after being caught using a pseudonym to defend himself on message boards has left an indelible impact on the Dilbert cartoonist. He is now a defender of all famous people from the internet's smears. Let him explain why a black woman blogger has no right to criticize Gwyneth Paltrow's privilege, because she's a black woman.
Crazy old coot John McCain landed in the rebel-held eastern Libyan city of Benghazi today. What's the old warmonger doing there? We imagine he's there to size 'em up because, you know, McCain's understanding of Libya's complex system of tribal loyalties probably goes all the way back to Reagan's bombing campaign there in the '80s, and maybe even Back to the Future. He also knows a thing or two about prosecuting a successful war.
He's not going to take this well: An Egyptian court ruled today that Hosni Mubarak's name and likeness must be removed from any public institution.
After a corruption scandal led to bloody fistfight on the floor of Parliament, and a raid uncovered 10 handguns and an AK47 hidden in the same building, Kyrgyzstan slaughtered seven sheep this morning in a ritualistic ceremony to rid its democracy of "evil spirits." The literal scapegoating occurred on Parliament's front lawn.
The federal government is expected to reach its $14.3 trillion borrowing limit on or around May 16. House Republicans have been demanding deep spending cuts in exchange for a vote to raise this ceiling, even though no congressional leader would really allow the United States government to reach this limit and default on its debt shortly afterwards, thereby destroying the global economy forever.
Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson (R) declared his candidacy for President Thursday morning, adding a libertarian voice to the emerging GOP field.
Fighting a fire at Denver's Southwest Plaza Mall, about two miles from Columbine High, firefighters discovered two tanks of propane and a homemade pipe bomb stored in the food court. Nothing had detonated and no one was injured, yet the implications are downright chilling.
Stern NYC schoolmarm-in-chief Mike Bloomberg is trying to crack down on the practice of NYPD officers making tickets disappear as a favor to friends. Clearly, this is an outrageous assault on the police. Why does Mike Bloomberg hate courtesy?
To hear some on the political right talk about it, "homosexual indoctrination" is already a problem in public schools — and it's about to get much, much worse.
Besides the whole "loss of your job and your health care and your savings and any hope for the future" thing, the most annoying thing to come out of the recent total global economic collapse is the fact that barely any rich guys have been punished for it.
Yes, it's Hunger Games time again, and the Ryan-Quaid offspring is one of today's selected tributes. Also today: The Good Wife keeps on a good character, Christopher Nolan keeps on some good actors, Demi Lovato bows out of Disney, and Isla Fisher heads to West Egg.
