It wouldn't be a Fashion Week without a bit of drama, and nothing says drama like a good, old-fashioned fight. Plenty of people are squaring off, but there can only be one victor. Who will walk away champion?

The fashionistas at The Cut got their hands on one of the deleted scenes from the upcoming The September Issue DVD. Watch Anna and couture bodyguard André Leon Talley intimidate a petrified designer, suggest he have a drink.

The blood of a thousand PR assistants runs through the streets after a frightful error leaves Wintour in the cold. Elin debates attending Tiger's press conference. Gabourey Sibide is so over Vanity Fair's all-white Young Hollywood issue. Thursday gossip ahoy!

[Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader escaped the exploding death star to take refuge in the front row of the Zac Posen show in Bryant Park today. Image via Getty]

It's bad enough that Elle's business is booming while Vogue is in the toilet, but now Carol Smith is on the cover of the Daily Frontrow taking credit for having Anna's bob first. And it's a lie!

Marc Jacobs, the prancing prince of fashion week, is spouting off about how his show is "not going to have celebrities," because they're "boring." Sorry, Marc, but that is bullshit. You are too reliant on stars to quit them now.

• Marc Jacobs says he's totally over having celebrities at his fashion shows because it's boring, and the only reason Lady Gaga and Madonna turned up to his show last year was because Gaga was performing at the after-party and Madonna, well, she just showed up. "She came backstage, and I was like, 'What do you do with her now?' Because it's not like she was invited." Somewhere, Madonna is burning all of her Marc Jacobs clothing. [P6]
• Rumors have been swirling recently that Ben Affleck fell off the wagon recently and is now drinking again. (He checked himself into rehab back in 2001.) On Monday, a bearded Affleck was spotted "cruising aimlessly" at the Chateau Marmont and "looking worse for wear." Uh oh. [NYDN]
• Tiger Woods mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, has scored herself a job. A day after sitting down with Extra's Mario Lopez for an interview and now the show has hired her as its new nightlife correspondent. Just like hooker-turned-sex columnist Ashley Dupre, Uchitel is proving that you can make a big bunch of terrible decisions in life and come out ahead in the end, provided you have no shame and a burning desire to be famous. [P6]

Nuclear Wintour may be blocking SuBo from Vogue—but her motive would be pure. Rachel Uchitel gets a job, Madonna gets a new beau. Is the "oral surgery" delaying Lil' Wayne's incarceration for his grill? Wednesday gossip cometh.

Two reasons why Fashion Week may not be quite as exciting when it begins on Thursday: 1. The snowpocalypse (which begins tonight and is expected to last through tomorrow night) will likely leave lots of slush in its wake and make navigating the city in heels extremely unpleasant; and 2. MTV's decision to clamp down on appearances by the cast of Jersey Shore may mean that you won't get to see Snooki sitting front row next to Anna Wintour, after all.

André Leon Talley, Vogue's editor-at-large-and-in-charge, has signed on to judge three "cycles" of Tyra Banks' glam reality schlockfest. He says Anna Wintour was OK with the idea and he had couture gowns made for the show. This is gonna rule!

It appears that someone wants to turn Anna Wintour's fake charity Fashion's Night Out into a reality show. The only way a whole evening of shopping is going to be exciting is if there are some challenges. Some ideas!

• Have Madonna and Jesus Luz gone their separate ways? That's what report today indicates, suggesting it was the couple's "overall lack of mutual interests" that caused the split and it was Luz who called things off. [CST]
• Rip Torn appeared in court yesterday and was formally charged with trespassing, burglary, and possessing a firearm following his arrest over the weekend for breaking into a bank because he thought it was his own house. In all fairness, though, Torn was in rural Connecticut and the "bank" is located in a two-story colonial, so this could have been a mistake that anyone could have made, no? Maybe not. Either way, Torn is now headed to rehab upstate. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Charlize Theron recently split up with her longtime partner, Stuart Townsend, but she may already have a new man in her life: Theron was spotted in LA last week on what appeared to be a date. [P6]
• Haven't the people of Haiti suffered enough? Hot on the heels of John Travolta's trip to the devastated nation to spread Scientology to the masses and now Michael Lohan and Kate Major say they, too, are planning to head to Haiti to "help" quake victims. [Radar]

This morning, New York editor Adam Moss lost deputy editor Hugo Lindgren to Bloomberg BusinessWeek. He's certainly not the only magazine-world EIC to have a trusted confidante on staff. But they're a dying breed.

[Anna Wintour and her French Vogue nemesis Carine Roitfeld pretend to like each other in Paris today while convincing French Industry Minister Christian Estrosi to make life easier for French fashion companies. Image via Getty]

Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour is in Paris this week to attend the annual couture shows, naturally. But it seems she's also been doing a little lobbying on the side.

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up? That's what Britain's News of the World reported over the weekend, suggesting the (unmarried) couple has been meeting with their lawyers in LA to divide up their assets. Whether any of this is true or it's just another rumor is unclear. According to a source that spoke with People, "everything is fine" between Jolie and Pitt, and the story of them splitting is "totally false." [NYDN, NYP, TMZ, People]
• The cast of MTV's most popular new show may not be back for another season. The kids from Jersey Shore reportedly turned down an offer which would have paid them each $5,000 per episode. MTV has since doubled its offer and informed them they'll replace the cast if they don't accept. In related news, the cast sparked a "near-riot" on Friday night when fans descended on a club in Montclair, New Jersey, to catch them in person. [TMZ, Us, NYDN]
• Diddy held a 1,000-person birthday party for his son, Justin, on Saturday night. The highlight of the evening—which was taped for an episode of MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen—was when Diddy gave his son what every 16-year-old needs: a $360,000 silver Maybach and a driver to go with it. [P6, NYDN]

[The handwriting on Anna Wintour's place card for the Eunice Johnson tribute luncheon at The Metropolitan Museum of Art yesterday is as tight, thin, and pristine as her famous visage. Image via Getty

Pictures may only be worth a thousand words, but they can certainly sear an image onto your brain for all eternity. Here are the pictures that defined 2009 on Gawker.

• It's still unclear what caused Brittany Murphy's death in Los Angeles yesterday morning. While the coroner has indicated the 32-year-old actress appears to have died from "natural causes," it's been reported that lots of prescription drug bottles were uncovered by cops at the scene, and some friends say they'd grown increasingly concerned that she was abusing painkillers. An autopsy is planned for today or tomorrow, but an official cause of death may take a couple of weeks, pending the results of toxicology tests. [NYP, TMZ, People, Sun]
• Murphy's death has put the spotlight on her husband, sketchy 39-year-old screenwriter Simon Monjack, who married Murphy in 2007. [NYDN]
• Tiger Woods set sail on his 155-foot yacht Privacy on Saturday accompanied by a bunch of friends. Where he's going is anybody's guess, although considering the boat has a range of 4,000 miles, it could be anywhere. As for his estranged wife, Elin Nordegren, now that she's retained a divorce lawyer, she's reportedly gearing up to ask for full custody of their two kids and half of his fortune, which has been estimated at $600 million. [NYP, People]

Everyone got crunk at the IAC/College Humor/Daily Beast X-Mas party. Did you? Did Julia Allison? Know what a "walk off" is? The Elle party apparently does, so suckit, Vogue. VICE/VBS.tv? And what about this here website's shindig? Party roundup time!