In your sultry Wednesday media column: Anna Wintour's PR man retires, Lee Siegel bitches and bitches, and the oil spill is the only thing on TV, but nobody will watch if Larry King's the one talking about it.

Tim Gunn tells damning stories about Nuclear Wintour and Andre Leon Talley. Chris Klein checks into rehab. Kourtney Kardashian gives Khloe a sisterly bikini wax. Justin Bieber's dad has a soulpatch. Monday gossip starts the week with a fright.

Vogue editrix Anna Wintour is campaigning against a restaurant looking to open near her West Village townhouse. She even testified against it last night. Ever since Bob Marley broke her heart, she really has a thing against Jamaican food, apparently.

We were far too busy watching the season finale of Nurse Jackie to attend the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards last night at Lincoln Center. But fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there taking plenty of notes!

During the two-hour season finale of America's Next Top Model last night, it didn't take long for Vogue's chief gay André Leon Talley to make up his mind who should win. We think he was the only victor.

No wonder Sean Avery is Anna Wintour's favorite Ranger. He put his two-bedroom Chelsea condo up for sale for $1.7 million. It's clean, modern, and masculine without being barbaric, although we could do without the dorm room peace-sign pillows.

Wintour goes nuclear on the dancefloor. Halle Berry calls her soon-to-be ex a "loser." Charlie Sheen hands over custody. Ke$ha ruins a bat mitzvah. Tiger Woods' butt sweats. Wednesday's gossip roundup likes to party.

We were so busy gawking at Real Housewife Danielle Staub eating dinner with skater Johnny Weir in Chelsea last night that we missed the Costume Institute Gala Benefit. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there in our stead.

The auction for a Vogue "internship" has closed. The price to spend a week at the office and meet Anna Wintour: $42,500. Which is probably more than the annual salary of a Vogue editorial assistant. [Image via Getty]

The move to New Zealand does not agree with the Vogue honcho because he almost lost the title of being the best thing about America's Next Top Model. Wake up, ALT, a noted fashion photographer is gunning for you!

We didn't get that much out of Vogue editor Anna Wintour during our brief conversation last night, but she did admit that running the magazine isn't actually all that hard. Then we asked creative director Grace Coddington to chime in.

We were too busy watching all our favorite shows simultaneously on TV last night to attend the fancy soiree Vanity Fair threw for the opening of the Tribeca Film Festival. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there in our stead.

As an old media institution, Vogue has been loath to get jiggy with the future. Now editor-in-chief Anna Wintour says that she "embraces" fashion bloggers, as long as they know that Vogue is still better than they are.

Anna Wintour: "Just Being Near Her Will Make You Chic." Did you know that? Now is your chance to bid on a "priceless week-long experience" with Anna, for charity. It's just as worthless as an internship, but costlier!

Longtime Vogue editor André Leon Talley is the greatest thing about America's Next Top Model and his tenure on the judging table has gotten even more fabulously insane than ever. Also, a proposal for ALT.

Sunglasses are "my burka" and porn is how the poor may approximate his escort-laden life. Chanel's dramatic creative director gave a ridiculously long interview to Vice in which he dismissed Anna Wintour and supported wearing fur. A Cliff's Notes guide.

Vogue editor Anna Wintour doesn't watch TV, says André Leon Talley, the mag's editor-at-large and the latest addition to America's Next Top Model.

Emma Charlton pretended she had terminal cancer and was the editor of Vogue. Before that, she used the name Golightly and operated a gold-digging scam. Now, she will go to jail for defrauding her fiance and grandmother, among others.

Eliot Spitzer's once-trusted confidante Lloyd Constantine wrote a book, out next week, about Spitzer's downfall—and Spitzer's none too happy. But it's practically a hallowed tradition to write a tell-all about your famous boss.

The prickly editor of Vogue likes to start her meetings early, and kneecap you if you show up on time. So says Anna Wintour documentarian R.J. Cutler in his Huffington Post diary about filming The September Issue: