The problem with keeping raccoons as pets is that their concept of "house beautiful" involves gnawing holes above your kitchen cabinets.

Another dog this smart and this cute? Is there a glitch in the matrix or something? (oh man, 90s pop culture references, huh?)

A ridiculous human interest story about a domesticated deer named Dillie. The only reason we're posting it? Because in the final shot of the story, it's pretty obvious that the reporter is going to have sex with her.

Watch this spotted baby Tapir run around after its mom. Obscenely cute.

Legion's demon-lady who tries to eat the girl from Friday Night Lights has been the thrust of most of that angels-with-guns flick's previews. Because crazy old ladies put butts in seats, guaranteed! Why, they're one of five cheap trailer ploys.

With the Facebook Fugitive back in jail, what runaway rapscallion should we cheer for next? How about this two-ton hippopotamus, which escaped from a zoo and now wanders Montenegro with a pair of armed bodyguards.

In a world where Gary the Cat sits around all day licking himself and sleeping, one moment completely defined his existence. Let's look at a play-by-play of how Gary came to question his very own existence.

Last Saturday, an earthquake hit Northern California. Luckily for the people in this news office, their dog sensed it early and hightailed it. This does beg the question: why was a dog hanging out in a news office?

This is more evidence that the 4th hour of Today is where all bad segments go to die. Today's WTF-worthy segment of horror? A segment on Doggie Boot Camp. Everyone participates in this embarrassment and we, the viewers, win.

This monkey might be tempting fate, but he can't help himself from harassing a group of young tigers.

A dog this smart and this cute? It's a keeper! I just hope it uses its brains for good, not evil.

Watch this dog help with post-dinner cleanup. More helpful than your kids, probably.

Rock out with your cock in...a chicken coop. Death metal rooster has no feelings. He has no remorse. He only knows how to do two things: Have sex with chickens and ROCK. And he does them both hardcore.

In today's AFV Clip O' The Day, we have a compilation of animals making bizarre noises. A cat that sounds like a baby, a sheep that sounds like a teamster, and a dog that sounds like a maniac? Yes please.

The guys over at Atom have just released another hilarious parody video. This time, they're targeting the ultra manly men of The Deadliest Catch. A word of warning: this involves quite a bit of fish punching.

Check out this cockatoo rocking out to a classic Backstreet Boys song. Obviously, he's the coolest bird on the block.

Evidencing NBC's history of sometimes spotty programming choices, is the 1990 pilot, Poochinski, in which Peter Boyle plays the eponymous cop, killed in the line of duty and reincarnated as an animatronic talking bulldog to chew on criminals' crotches.

This sketch from 1979's Mr. Mike's Mondo Video proves that cats really can swim—if taught by a hunk in a half-shirt. Though its comedy hinges on action nearing animal abuse, cats are natural swimmers, adorably awkward in action.

Zoos make money by displacing animals from nature, caging them, then ticketing spectators who come to glare through the glass. There's usually nothing too wild to see, unless the animals learn tricks like auto-fellatio, and put on a show.

This dog hates baths so much that the mention of the word sends him scurrying out of the room.