You should really stop doing cocaine. Not because it's addictive, or anything, but because it's likely laced with levamisole, a veterinary drug used for de-worming livestock, and it will make your flesh rot off.
A Chicago landlord called the cops on Sunday after investigating a leak and stumbling upon one of his tenants, covered in blood. But he shouldn't have worried! The guy was just performing a little D.I.Y. surgery on his dog. In the nude.
Fresh off an unsuccessful attempt to make circumcision illegal, San Francisco has turned elsewhere for its next attempted ban: Goldfish. The Animal Control and Welfare Commission would like to ban the sale of pets in the city, even goldfish. The proposed ban seems destined to fail a vote of the Board of Supervisors (just like the ACWC's recommendation to mix birth control with birdseed to reduce the pigeon population), but we appreciate that it was put forward in the first place, because "Isn't San Francisco Wacky, Man?" stories written by non-San Franciscans are among our favorites. [SFC]
Earlier this week Shrek, the world's (probably) wooliest sheep, died in New Zealand at age 16. So as the nation ponders its future without Shrek — an animal so famous and influential that it had the ear of the prime minister — museums are lining up for the right to display his stuffed carcass for future generations. The national museum, Te Papa, wants him, and so does the Otago Museum near his home. But what would Shrek want? The New Zealand Herald explains:
Video of a mutant bunny born near Japan's quake-ravaged Fukushima power plant has gone viral. The bunny, which was born without ears, might be evidence of radioactive contamination, which may someday render the entire population of Japan microtic-anotic! Unless, of course, it's just a random birth defect. Every credible scientist in the world is leaning strongly toward the latter. Crazy people, however, are leaning toward the former, so the mutant bunny will probably be on the evening news tonight.
Last Friday evening, this black bear trespassed onto the property of Floridian Jenny Rhoades, then got into her hot tub without asking for permission. Whoa, arrogant.
What would you do if a man holding a dead weasel burst into your apartment? By all accounts, one resident of Hoquiam, Wash. played it cool when confronted with that very problem:
It's been a tough year for world famous animals. Knut died. Ming Ming, the world's oldest panda, died, too. And Shrek, the New Zealand sheep that hid in a cave for six years to avoid his owner's shears, was was put down last weekend. When Shrek emerged from his cave in 2004 his fleece was finally clipped, producing almost 60 pounds of wool. He then set off on a nationwide tour that included a meeting with the prime minister.
What on earth could be cuter than a pair of baby ligers (the product of a Manchurian tiger mother and African lion father)? What about... those ligers being raised by a dog, alongside two of her own pups? This particular adorable multispecies family hails from the Xixiakou Wildlife Zoo in Shangdong, China. Unfortunately, two other liger cubs died of malnutrition after being rejected by their mother, but their siblings are apparently on the road to health, thanks to their adoptive mother.
If you think America's criminal justice system for humans is bad, the system set up for sea lions is even worse. For sea lions, just eating too much can earn you the death penalty.
Poor little Tiny the lowland gorilla is dead after sustaining injuries caused during an attack by his surrogate father Kesho, who was apparently became "jealous" of the defenseless tot and started a fatal fight. Kesho is definitely on our "Worst Gorillas in the World" list today.
A Washington State Patrol trooper yesterday shot and killed a 500-lb pig that had "escaped through a broken back passenger window" of a minivan. Trooper Morgan Mehaffey saw the pig running on a sidewalk in Spokane Valley, so he corralled it with his cruiser, Tasered the hell of it, then shot its ass dead.
Shortly before thoroughbred horses stormed the track at the Kentucky Derby, a cavalcade of chihuahuas ran in Chandler, Arizona's annual Cinco de Mayo Festival and Chihuahua Races.
Some impressive animal smuggling attempts have been busted up over the years, but this one possibly beats them all in terms of audacity. A 36-year-old Emirati man, Noor Mahmoodr, was arrested at Bangkok's Suvarnabuhmi Airport attempting to fly first class to Dubai with what has been described as "a virtual zoo."
The state of Florida, somewhat famously, finally got around to banning bestiality last week. But, as the blog Southern Fried Science points out, there might be something wrong with the language used in the bill—specifically that it bans sex with "an animal." Did you know that humans are "animals," too?
