Organizers of the Orange County Fair called a halt to the event's twenty-five year tradition of offering elephant rides today.

The FBI conducted a three-year investigation, dubbed "Seizing Thunder," into a animal-rights and environmental "terrorists" in the Pacific Northwest that devolved into widespread—and seemingly pointless—surveillance of activists for no apparent reason aside from the fact that they were anarchists, or protested the war in Iraq, or were "militant feminists." Here's the file.

The Humane Society estimates that three to four million cats and dogs are euthanized in animal shelters each year—about half of all the animals that enter shelters. Do you care? Well, pay up then.

Food simulacra purveyor McDonald's has announced that it will "take actions" to "phase out" the use of gestational crates—tiny little pens for pregnant pigs that don't allow the pregnant pigs to turn around for four months, fucking them up in all sorts of ways—among the company's pork suppliers. "There are alternatives that we think are better for the welfare of sows," a McDonald's executive said in a statement that was probably a real chuckle for pregnant pigs. "I'll say!" said the tortured pigs with a good-natured laugh.

PETA has filed a lawsuit charging SeaWorld with violating the 13th Amendment by enslaving killer whales. This could be interesting.

Not more than a week has passed since a Florida man sustained injuries in a shark attack, and already the lettuce porn fetishists at PETA have come up with a new ad campaign commemorating his memorable seaside experience. Now he can add "muse" to his resume.

In its ongoing battle to save that most endangered of animals—the troll—vegetarian PR factory PETA has announced that it will be launching a porn website. They're doing absolutely nothing new, in other words.

"Birds should not have to suffer for donuts." So argues vegan blogger Annie Hartnett, who has penned a petition protesting a menu offering at Brooklyn's Do or Dine restaurant: the foie gras doughnut, a high-end dessert running $11 per fatted-goose-liver-filled fritter. (To be clear, Do or Dine don't claim to have invented the foie gras doughnut, which has been popping up on restaurant menus around the country for several years.)

Good morning, you bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit-eating motherfuckers. Here's a brand new video from the group Mercy For Animals, showing exactly where that bacon you love so much comes from.

UCLA neuroscientist David Jentsch, who conducts research on rodents and primates, received a gruesome package earlier this month: "Bloody, AIDS-tainted razor blades," courtesy "the Justice Department."

The government of New York spends the majority of its time deciding which of our cute animal brethren it wants to massacre next. First, the geese got a death warrant. And now they're coming for your friend, Mr. Lemur!

Animal rights group Animals Asia has released photographs of Chinese maltreatment of animals, including "toothless tigers riding on the backs of horses," pigs on diving boards, and bears riding motorcycles on tightropes. Which is awful! But: Wow! [Telegraph]

A truck headed to a slaughterhouse overturned yesterday, and a dozen cows broke free and made a run for it! Of course they'll all be caught and euthanized soon, so leave that part out when you tell the kids. [AP]

A group that loves to defend animals has issued a press release to express its opposition to "ridiculous" animal research, like the one where they poke the rat vaginas.

Do you hate dogs? Great. Awesome idea for you: adopt a dog, then decide that the dog's barking annoys you, then have the dog's vocal cords severed so it can't bark ever again. Stupid dogs, always behaving naturally. [NYT]

Nelson Mandela's prison site, Robben Island, is now home to bunnies. They must be slaughtered.

Pity poor Lydia Netzer, who lived next door to the PETA intern house outside DC. Pity Lydia Netzer's cat even more. The PETA interns finally good-intentioned it to death.

Child labor activists are aiming for Pam Anderson. Rush Limbaugh, shockingly, loves racist clubs. Jon Gosselin no doubt hates giving up $180,000. And Ashton Kutcher was mean to January Jones. Good morning! It's your Wednesday morning gossip roundup...