animal-rights

The Incredible, Chick-Grinding Egg Industry

Andrew Belonsky · 09/01/09 08:39PM

The egg industry's currently engaging in a war on "useless" male chicks, who (duh) produce no eggs. And, like all wars, this one has casualties: cute, innocent, fuzzy, absolutely precious casualties.

Buy Coke And We'll Kill This Dog

Hamilton Nolan · 12/09/08 04:56PM

You cokeheads just don't listen to reason. So the government tried metaphors. Remember when they cracked an egg, representing your brain, into a sizzling frying pan, representing drugs, to indicate that drugs will "fry" your brain? Years after that, it turns out that people are still doing drugs! Now the UK government has hit on a brilliant message: If you do coke, you are killing this innocent dog. The clever use of a grisly puppy murder makes this, honestly, the best anti-drug campaign we've seen in quite a while. Tell poor scruffy Pablo you needed that bump—or tell his dead body:

The Beginning Of The End Of Chimps In Ads

Hamilton Nolan · 11/10/08 05:10PM

Is this the end of monkey ads? The nonprofit Ad Council—which makes all those famous public service ads you see everywhere—has agreed not to use any more "great apes" in its ads. No chimpanzees or orangutans! Not only that, but the CEOs of dozens of major advertisers and ad agencies sit on the Ad Council's board, and PETA is promising to urge all of them to stop with the ape ads, too. Kiss your precious CareerBuilder monkeys goodbye!

PETA Condemns NYT Photos On Pure Reflex

Hamilton Nolan · 05/14/08 02:24PM

PETA, the perpetually outraged animal rights group, is very upset that the New York Times Magazine ran a fashion photo shoot last weekend featuring bees. "The entire world is talking about the fact that bees are dying off—The New York Times has even reported on it—and yet The New York Times Magazine does a fashion spread with bees in it. That's pretty irresponsible," PETA told Animal NY. But Animal also spoke to a beekeeper, who said such photo shoots were perfectly safe for the insects. Perhaps PETA just wants bees to be paid fairer wages for their modeling work. Two more photos of honeymongers inconvenienced by fashion, below.

Mmmm, Test Tube Meat

Hamilton Nolan · 04/21/08 09:17AM

PETA, the animal rights group skilled at making potential supporters forget about its cause because of all the nude women writhing around at the anti-fur PR stunts, is putting up a million-dollar prize for the first researcher who comes up with a good way to make meat in test tubes. Ahhhhhh! Throwupthrowupthrowup. Intellectually, it's clear that test tube-bred animal tissue would be a good way to allow people to have their precious Slim Jims without actually killing cows, and would presumably be chemically similar to normal meat. But really, just the thought of eating "test tube meat"—god, it's painful to even type it. Can't wait for the marketing machine to get started on the euphemisms for that product (suggestions?). After the jump, two clips that sum up my feelings on this issue: The classic "Soylent Green" ingredients scene, and Jim Gaffigan's "Hot Pockets" routine—"How about we fill a pop tart with nasty (test tube) meat? You cook it in a sleeve thing. Dunk it in the toilet."

Save This Monkey From Modeling!

Hamilton Nolan · 04/04/08 10:32AM

Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, a chimp-rights group, is assailing Sports Illustrated with a vicious letter-writing campaign! The group is upset that the magazine used a macaque (FANCY WORD FOR "MONKEY") and a bear in its photo shoot for this year's Swimsuit Issue [Folio]. S.I. is like, whoa! We take care of the animals, and besides, what mammal wouldn't be happy nestled up against the thighs of a swimsuit model? The two bear/ model-relations pictures, which have caused all the human outrage, after the jump. The bear does look kind of annoyed by that muzzle.