Just after New York approved same-sex marriage, the Brown Coffee Company of San Antonio, Texas (does Texas allow same-sex marriage?) posted a Twitter that seemed not-so-coincidentally homophobic. People got mad, so Brown's clowns took that Twitter down and apologized. But they weren't sorry for long (ka-ching)!

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has set a special election date, September 13, for the vacant seat of ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner, who is going to Internet penis rehab. Prepare for extravagant memorializing displays from each candidate on 9/11.

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo became the nation's progressive superhero and pre-determined 2016 Democratic nominee for president just last week, with the legalization of same-sex marriage. So what's next for this once-in-a-generation liberal lion? How about ditching the state's moratorium on dangerous hydraulic fracturing for natural gas? Hmm.

The passage of the marriage equality bill on Friday night couldn't have been timed any better, since it kicked off what was a celebratory Gay Pride weekend in New York City. Rather than a protest or political action, this year's parade down Fifth Avenue and across Greenwich Village was all about celebration. Who cares if the people in Middle America are scared by our drag queens, leather daddies, and dykes on bikes, this year was for us—and what a time it was!

Friday night, as gay rights history was being made in Albany, 20 officers from the NYPD and other city agencies stormed into The Eagle, NYC's biggest leather bar. Inside, they shined flashlights into customers' eyes and forced them to empty their pockets, the Times reports.

Surging future presidentrix of America Michele Bachmann has got a well-documented problem with homosexuals, because they trap her in restrooms all the time. But on the subject of same-sex marriage, she sounds surprisingly reasonable. Maybe that gay glitter was cut with mood stabilizers?

The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal both have behind-the-scenes accounts of Gov. Andrew Cuomo's successful push for gay marriage in New York. And (surprise!) the key was a bunch of rich Republicans.

It's been difficult to follow the developments this week in the fight for same-sex marriage in New York. Someone on Twitter says "EXCLUSIVE: VOTE HAPPENING TONIGHT," and then five minutes later, "UPDATE: NO VOTE EVER." So let's try to make some sense of what's happening.

Andrew Cuomo likes "fixing up old muscle cars" and going to Jon Bon Jovi concerts.

Andrew Cuomo doesn't care if you're comfortable at his events or not, okay?

Sandra Lee, the celebuchef girlfriend of new New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, doesn't like to talk about her man. When a reporter asked why not at a press conference arranged to highlight her charity work, she left in a huff.

Andrew Cuomo was inaugurated as the 56th governor of New York today.

Famous asshole Steven Rattner, the ex-reporter, financier and auto czar, has settled for $10 million over a kickback scheme.

New York's no bullshit governor-elect Andrew Cuomo is more than just a shrewd politician — he's now one of People magazine's sexiest men alive! How does he maintain his sexiness? "A lot of it's just natural. It's genetic sculpting." Oh.

New York Governor-elect Andrew Cuomo has picked former "9/11 Mayor" Rudy Giuliani to co-chair his public safety transition team and help select candidates for top positions. Will these recommended candidates prove to be scumbag crooks and go to jail, too?

With beau Andrew Cuomo headed to Albany soon to assume the Governorship of New York, Food Network personality and champion of tablescapes Sandra Lee will have a new locale to set her decorating sights on: the New York Executive Mansion.

According to the New York Times, Carl Paladino has tried twice without success to call Andrew Cuomo to concede the New York governor's race. For some reason, Cuomo hasn't taken the calls or returned Paladino's messages. Why would that be?

Carl Paladino went out much the same way he came in: Incomprehensibly. His concession speech in a nutshell: Carl has a baseball bat, and Andrew Cuomo can hold it, and we "have not heard the last of Carl Paladino." Yup.

Gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan, of the Rent Is 2 Damn High party, has lost to Democrat Andrew Cuomo. Oh, sure, Jimmy's too wacky to be Governor? Well, television cooking-person Sandra Lee is now the first lady of New York.

Human Halloween costume Carl Paladino, New York's Republican gubernatorial candidate, will lose to Andrew Cuomo by a full 100 percentage points tomorrow. So why shouldn't he just go nuts at a Buffalo bar on Halloween weekend?