Lady Gaga's former bassist wants his royalties. Sandra Bullock gets a divorce lawyer. Her husband's tattooed mistress loses a job for being a Nazi. Madonna leaves New York. Kate Gosselin can't dance. Tuesday's gossip is embarrassing itself in public.

Tonight brought us another edition of celebrity Jeopardy!, with Cheech Marin, Aisha Tyler, and the Silver Fox himself, Anderson Cooper. Well, Cooper kind of sucked. Actually, he really sucked. Are CNN anchors incapable of playing Jeopardy! well? Inside, video highlights.

After taking his boyfriend to a very public Hollywood Oscar party, is Anderson Cooper getting ready to finally come out? Who knows, but based on the very gay joke he made on Live with Regis and Kelly, he already is.

Anderson brought his boyfriend to Oscar afterparties, and they got down. "At one point, [the host] stopped the music and said unless Anderson Cooper started dancing, he wouldn't play any more music. Luckily, the CNN anchor quickly hit the dancefloor!"

A tipster tells us Ben Maisani was Anderson Cooper's guest at last night's Vanity Fair Oscar party. We turned up this picture that certainly looks like Cooper brought his very private boyfriend to a very public event.

Anderson Cooper guest hosted this morning and brought his hard news edge with him exposing the audience to some of Danny Devito's insanity. Apparently, Devito enjoys taking pictures of his feet on other people's desks.

In your ethical Monday media column: a movie review in need of some full disclosure, a trade magazine goes wacko, CBS is too good for Anderson Cooper, and Playboy looks grim(mer).

Katie Couric's contract at CBS expires in about a year. According to the Times, the network has "talked to Anderson Cooper of CNN about an anchor job." The celebratory pictures alone would make this a very wise move. [NYT]

Jeff Toobin's fetish is too-hot-to-print. Outing Anderson is a national pastime and Barbara Walters has more sex than you do. If gravitas, hairspray, and that thousand-mile teleprompter gaze are your thing, here's your dossier for meth-smoking, anal-fisting, camera-loving news anchors.

Anderson Cooper won't talk about his personal life (read: gayness) because he worries it will damage his objectivity. All-gay-all-day blog Queerty hits one out of the park showing why the Gay-Reporters-Can't-Cover-Gay-Stories argument is bullshit. Get that closet door ready, A.C.

A New York designer is suing Anderson Cooper and the architect rehabbing Cooper's new Greenwich Village firehouse, claiming she was injured on the job when she fell through a hole in the floor. Where a firepole was.

The "SnOMGpocalypse of Death" today has us thinking of the BBC commentator's hilarious meta take on how the news networks report on disastrous weather—namely snow. It's a clever dissection of scare tactics, the word "treacherous," and people falling.

• The Jay Leno Show ends its run tonight. It was actually scheduled to conclude on Thursday, but NBC moved it up to tonight to take advantage of the lead-in from The Biggest Loser. Make of that what you will. [NYT]
• Ellen DeGeneres takes Paula Abdul's seat on American Idol tonight. [LAT]
• The second season of Jersey Shore will be set in one of the few places in America that's cheesier than the Jersey Shore: South Beach. [Movieline]
• Were CNN's ratings so lousy last week that it sent Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta back to Haiti in the hopes it would give the network a boost? Hey, it's a theory! (And from CNN's co-founder and former CEO, no less.) [HP]
• A Playboy shareholder has filed a class action lawsuit against the company, claiming Hugh Hefner's been sabotaging efforts to sell the company. [TMZ]
• Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit issue has been unveiled. It's the issue that keeps the lights turned on at SI, as you probably could have guessed. [MW]
• The White Stripes are kind of ticked off that the U.S. Air Force used one of its songs in a commercial that aired during the Super Bowl. [NYT]
• A Sopranos-themed musical is not coming to Broadway. Reassuring! [NYM]

The CNN anchor tweeted a response to the National Enquirer story that said he and his boyfriend were adopting. Don't worry, he will still continue to be a daddy to countless others. His twitter stream is a wealth of information!

The National Enquirer says Cooper and his boyfriend will adopt a baby. Even crazier than that, the National Enquirer is talking about Cooper's boyfriend on the front page. Even your mom is gonna see that at the grocery store!

Anderson Cooper and boyfriend Ben Maisani are adopting a child from Haiti, at least according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer. [Gawker]

Overlord Nick Denton was so tickled to learn that CNN anchor and well-known gay guy Anderson Cooper's buying an old Greenwich Village firehouse that he left the info in comments back in October. Now the New York Post knows, too.

• Cynthia Nixon and her fiancée, education activist Christine Marinoni, have picked up a new weekend home: The couple are putting down $1.7 million for a 1,400-square-foot waterfront cottage in Montauk. [Newsday]
• Investment banker Lewis van Amerongen has gone into contract to sell his five-story townhouse at 13 East 71st Street, six months after slashing the price of the home by $8 million. The townhouse had been listed most recently for $16.95 million. [Cityfile, BHS]
• Kathleen Turner has dropped the price of her home in Amagansett by $1 million. The six-bedroom house, which has been on-and-off the market since 2005, is now listed for $4.95 million. [Newsday, PDE]
• It looks like the recent rumors about Anderson Cooper moving to a former firehouse in Village were true. The CNN anchor picked up the 8,240-square-foot building on West 3rd Street in September for $4.3 million and is now reportedly in the process of renovating the century-old building. [NYP]

Historically, Jay Leno hasn't shied away from speaking about his job status. Leno's statements over the last few weeks—full of jokes about NBC, Conan O'Brien and David Letterman—reinforced that characteristic. Recently, however, he's been unusually mum. What gives?

This weekend, Times Style writer Guy Trebay accurately observed that the CNN reporter's default uniform in Haiti was a snug-fitting muscle shirt. This, Trebay concluded, was a sign that journalists were basically becoming slobs. But how to explain Don Lemon?