Our friend who's seen the Anderson Cooper book told us that it wasn't so much interesting: A slight book, a quick read, and with virtually no personal revelations. But that didn't stop Vanity Fair — bless its glossy heart — from teasing out those few personal bits for a dramatic story in the June issue on Anderson's privileged and tragic childhood, as Rush & Molloy report in today's News. Truth is, the story itself can suck for all we care. We're just unspeakably pleased it was enough to merit this cover.

• The UK Observer argues that Rolling Stone is once again the anti-establishment bible, "giving a new lease of life" to editor/publisher Jann Wenner. If so, could the mag once and for all stop pretending it has anything to do with music? Just cut that painful shit loose, please. [Observer UK]
• NB to Tom Cruise: Never, ever publish another piece of writing. And pity the poor soul who had to edit you — we'd rather eat our own scabs. [Time]
• Today David Blaine begins his fishbowl stunt, in which he finds an excuse to subject us to his shirtless torso for one full week. [Gothamist]
• It's wonderflack Jonathan Cheban's dewy MySpace profile! He's actually friends with Lindsay Lohan, which means he can read her MySpace blog entries. Color us jealous. [MySpace]
• Work at Men's Journal? Have a lunch tomorrow with Anderson Cooper? Don't know what to ask him? Then turn to your equally dumbfounded friends at Williamsboard for suggested topics. [Williamsboard]
• Thanks, we think, to a quick rhinoplasty, Ashlee Simpson's nose finally matches that of her sister Jessica. [Cityrag]
• Katie Couric has finally found her Hamptons refuge: a 5,000-square-foot Southampton McMansion. Anyone know the broker? We'd love to see some pics. [NYP]
• Additionally on the matter of brokers, Brownstoner launches Brokerate.com, a simple site where you can rate your experience with the realtors who make your life miserable. [Brokerate]
• Women's fashion mags lead to heartbreak, insecurity, and death. But at least you'll stop eating and be thin. [Coutorture]

It's funny because Anderson is in the closet, at least professionally. Get it?

• Might John Huey poach Slate's Jacob Weisberg to run Time? Sure, maybe. Who knows? [Media Mob/NYO]
• Might John Huey poach Newsweek's Jon Meacham to run Time? Sure, maybe. Who knows? [MW]
• Stephen Colbert does not amuse Bush at White House Correspondents' Dinner. [E&P]
• Anderson Cooper's 60 Minutes segments will be shown on CNN, too. See, boys, there's Coop enough for all of us. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• Rosie's View contract says she can't cut her hair. As will Keri Russell's next contract anywhere, if she ever works again. [Fox411]

• Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan gets spanked for plagiarizing her debut novel. Little, Brown enters shame spiral for having given an underage hack a two book, $500K deal — they cope by pulling her bestseller from the shelves.
• People names its "beautiful people" and is rumored to have shelled out some $700K for access to the Brangelina.
• As Rolling Stone's 1,000th issue party draws near, some Wenner proles lament their lack of invites. At least RS staffers scored the golden tickets.
• Rosie O'Donnell is slated to replace Meredith Vieira on The View, ensuring that the show is a must-see for those looking for some morning show bloodlust.
• Time's top dog Jim Kelly may be moving on as early as June. Oh, Santa, please don't go.
• In other speculative job changes, is Lloyd Grove considering ditching the Daily News for the Post and Page Six?
• Thank God it's spring — media softball is back, and just as mandatory as ever.
• You can see Anderson Cooper's memoir, but they'll have to kill you afterwards.
• Gawker mascot Andrew Krucoff gets a new job at the 92nd Street Y, meaning that our consciences may finally rest. For now, anyhow.
• If there's one sort of error from the Post that we can never, ever forgive, it's misreporting the size of Bill Clinton's penis. This is America, people — knowing presidential cock is like knowing the Pledge of Allegiance.

• Vanity Fair contributing editor John Connolly has been informed by the U.S. Attorney's office that Anthony Pellicano has "threatened his safety." Connolly has written several pieces on the wiretap case, including the latest in the June issue, and just signed a book deal on the subject. Nikki Finke counts this as the third journo Pellicano has threatened, and the first NYC-based of the bunch. Congrats, Connolly. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Predictably, Harvard has started "gathering information" on the case of plagiarizing prodigy Kaavya Viswanathan. It's not a formal investigation, but is it ever? Also, of her book deal, she says that she "just thought everyone was being nice" to her. Har. [Crimson & NYT]
• Anderson Cooper will start appearing on 60 Minutes. That's double the silver foxiness! [NYP]
• Russell Crowe accuses of Sony BMG of leading him on before they decided against giving him a record deal; Crowe chucks phone at record exec's head. [Daily Telegraph]
• Only the classiest advertising for George Clooney. [AdFreak]
• Buddha Bar gets a death sentence: "Like Spice Market meets Ninja." [Snack]
• Enjoy information while it's free, 'cause it might not be for long. [FT]
• We'll help this kid out, but only in the name of threesomes. [HWTB]

We learned yesterday that our college roommate's uncle's brother's camp friends' mother's dog-walker's daughter's babysitter's agent has a copy of the eagerly, desperately, hungrily awaiting Anderson Cooper memoir, Dispatches From the Edge. So exciting! How soon, we asked, can we take a glimpse at this delicious morsel? And then we learned the sad news: We cannot. Why not? Because everyone who has received a copy of this august tome — which, as we've heard from several sources, is neither particularly weighty nor particularly interesting — has signed a lengthy confidentiality agreement promising that they will not reveal its content to anyone. Indeed — and this is probably our favorite part — while reporters who have received a copy of the book are generously permitted to discuss the book for "reporting and/or fact checking purposes," but, unless they have HarperCollins' "express written approval," they're not allowed to do that reporting and/or fact checking with anyone other than Anderson himself. Genius!

We've now received probably a half-dozen reports of some of the celebrities spotted at the Scissor Sisters show at Bowery Ballroom last night. There was Karl Lagerfeld, looking characteristically Lagerfeldian. There was Kylie Minogue, who, it seems, "looked adorable with her short hair" and was "waving her hands in the air like she just didn't care." There was Richie Rich. There was Amanda Lapore. There may have been Ingrid Sischy. And there was one more celeb many of you have told us about, standing solo near the back of the dancefloor, looking incognito in a grey college sweatshirt — Arizona State, of all places — and baseball cap, and barely head-bopping to the music: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Anderson Cooper.

We're told this "liberated" billboard was spotted near the Jersey entrance to the Holland Tunnel. We're also told Anderson Cooper will be signing copies of his new book, Dispatches From the Edge, at the Union Square Barnes & Noble on June 6. We cannot imagine this is a coincidence.

This arrived in our inbox a bit ago:

We spent our Sunday recuperating from a hangover, ordering in some bacon and eggs, and catching up on TiVo'd TV. A reader meantime, spent three hours on a JetBlue plane next to Anderson Cooper. Cathy, to whom the above boarding pass is inscribed, is our current hero. (Our beloved Anderson, on the other hand, needs a course in penmanship.)

Yes, Anderson, we think Mike Nichols is dreamy, too. But unfortunately Diane got there first.

We neglected to mention this morning a blind item in Ben Widdicombe's Gatecrasher column:

• The art you've always wanted: A sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth. On a bearskin rug. And "the crowning of baby Sean's head." Where would you find such a thing? In Williamsburg, of course. [Send2Press]
• This week's Times correction of the week: "An article in The Metro Section on March 8 profiled Donna Fenton, identifying her as a 37-year-old victim of Hurricane Katrina who had fled Biloxi, Miss., and who was frustrated in efforts to get federal aid as she and her children remained as emergency residents of a hotel in Queens. Yesterday, the New York police arrested Ms. Fenton, charging her with several counts of welfare fraud and grand larceny. Prosecutors in Brooklyn say she was not a Katrina victim, never lived in Biloxi and had improperly received thousands of dollars in government aid." People are so nit-picky these days. [NYT]
• AC 360 finds a new scourge to campaign against: The evil practice of puppy smuggling. [CNN]
• There are dates that end well and dates that end less well. And then there are dates the end in night court. Even worse, without Judge Harry T. Stone. Yikes. [CourtTV]
• Is this for real? Who knows. But it would seem that Mobile, Ala., residents found themselves a leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day, according to the local NBC affiliate. [YouTube]

OK, so it's a clip from a while ago, back when CNN's American Morning was still in the Time & Life Building. (The new Sportsnet New York is in their old studio now.) And it's a clip of them replaying an even older clip, from when A-Coop was one of American Morning's anchors. And it's a clip of a clip that isn't even that new to YouTube, having been posted, we see, back in January. But it was just brought to our attention last night, and, dammit, we're sure as hell not going to keep shots of our beloved Anderson — shirtless, "white as a newt," and dancing around to ensure they spray-on tan gets everywhere — from you just because they're not new. Again, that's Anderson shirtless and dancing around. You're welcome.

Major, breaking, top news from CNN:

The Coop, clearly in his element on St. Charles Avenue.

The front page of today's Times sports section carries news of the hottest Olympics party in Turin (or are we calling it Torino around here?), at the Russia House. And of course there's no better way to prove a venue's hotness than to demonstrate how much the hottest athletes in town enjoy it:

[Click to enlarge.]

A tipster (who may or may not be smoking crack, as tipsters are wont to do) informs us that Prudential Douglas Elliman has just scheduled a showing of this lush East Hampton property to none other than Mr. Blue Steel himself, Anderson Cooper. Priced at $3.55 million, the house boasts a "glorious" master suite, professional kitchen, marble baths, 3 fireplaces, and cathedral ceilings. The best part? The home features six zones of heat and central air, which should provide enough temperature control to keep every last Katrina refugee nice and comfy.