With industry news lately so dominated by tear-soaked tales of high-level executives being put out of their misery by pinkslip-wielding, immortal corporate overlords, we welcome today's announcement that Sony's Amy Pascal (whose box office hot streak healed the wounds left by last summer's string of bombs) was given the fancy new title of co-chairman and had her contract extended through 2011, ensuring another half-decade of festive, movie-themed premiere costumes. Throw your arms wide and join in the group hug of recent success warmly rewarded:

Sony's Amy Pascal might be publicly banking on the involvement of starting Da Vinici Code Blasphemy Dream Team backcourt Ron Howard and Tom Hanks in her studio's planned sequel, Angels & Demons, but NPR's Kim Masters reports that should Hanks' schedule interfere, the franchise could still survive:

· Sony's worldwide day-and-date release strategy for The Da Vinci Code proves incredibly effective, especially in Catholic-heavy countries like Spain and Italy, which set box office records this weekend. As a reward for their patronage, Sony's Amy Pascal has promised those markets special premieres of any future film that blasphemes their savior. [Variety]
· We'd somewhat naively assumed that deleting a show from our TiVo season pass made it disappear from the airwaves, but the huge Nielsens of the Desperate Housewives finale prove otherwise. [THR]
· Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette has already generated buzz in the fashion world. We don't even know what "flouncy pink footwear" is, but apparently it's "in" because of the movie. [Variety]
· A development executive at MTV wakes up from a two-year coma and greenlights a Jennifer Lopez-produced reality series about dancers trying to make it, tragically unaware that no one cares about what Lopez does anymore. [THR]
· After five days at Cannes, no film has emerged as frontrunner for the Palm D'or. Jury members, however, are considering awarding it to the out-of-competition X-Men: The Last Stand if Brett Ratner promises to leave their country a few days early. [Variety]

Even studio executives whose blockbusters seem(ed) like sure things have had their confidence shaken by the M:i:III disappointment™ and Poseidon bed-shitting®, terrified by the prospect that any given Monday could feature a dreaded trip to The Grill for their public humiliation lunch special. A key to minimizing the pain of any regrettable box office shortfall is not getting your corporate boss' hopes up:

Breaking news from the Sony lot, where an operative reports that employees are being terrorized by a cloud of tiny, yellow killers:

Sony's Amy Pascal, even while mired in last year's Stealth-fueled disaster, never abandoned her instincts. She knew that with some judicious cuts (read: $5 mil in reshoots and edits) designed to render the troublingly priapic Inspector Clouseau a PG-rated eunuch, The Pink Panther could probably capitalize on Steve Martin's post-sellout Cheaper by the Dozen fan base. Reports the LAT on some of the family-friendly changes made en route to the movie's (long delayed) number one opening:

Defamer is committed to connecting eager job hunters looking to get a foothold in the entertainment business with exciting opportunities to play a support role in the inebriated-coeds-flashing-their-breasts- for-a-free-trucker-hat-and-a-lifetime-of-regrets industry. As always, Craigslist provides:

So we just had this great idea: If we come up for an official-sounding name that suggests a recurring feature, something like Thursday Afternoon Rumor Mill, then the totally unsubstantiated (but very rapidly spreading) chatter that we're hearing might sound somewhat less wacky. We've been barraged with rumors concerning the situation at Sony, with one saying that Amy Pascal is out, Columbia co-president of production Matt Tolmach is getting promoted to studio head, and other co-president Doug Belgrad is taking a production deal. Another (possibly oppositional, possibly complementary?) batch of rumor-mongerers seem to think that Pascal is getting promoted to co-CEO of Sony with Michael Lynton. Will Pascal be rewarded or punished for Sony's bomb-strewn year? Will she show her usual flair for occasion-appropriate dress by wearing a festive flack jacket to Sony's holiday party next week? Only time (or a press release, or a story in Variety, or a fresh set of contradictory tracking board rumors) will tell.

Anxious to avoid another Mask of Zorro-type costumed misadventure, Memoirs of a Geisha producer Steven Spielberg took no chances, beginning his campaign months ago to dissuade sartorially exuberant Sony chief Amy Pascal from painting her face white and showing up to the film's premiere in a kimono. The persuasive Spielberg largely succeeded, his lone concession being Pascal's socks-and-platform-sandals flourish (not pictured).

Today's LAT uses Zathura's weak opening and the difficulties in finally getting Fun With Dick and Jane into theaters to kick off another installment of Journalists Making Studio Executives Admit That Their Movies Are Shitty. This time, Sony's Amy Pascal is once again forced to answer for Stealth, XXX: State of the Union, and the rest of her Little Columbia Underachievers, and plays the "Hey, they sounded like good ideas at the time" card:

Saturday's LAT provided us with another opportunity to play our favorite parlor game, Journalists Making Studio Executives Admit That Their Summer Movies Were Shitty. This latest round of insincere sackcloth-and-ashes fun stars Sony's Amy Pascal and Brian Grazer of Imagine, who do their part to promise the ticket-buying public through gritted teeth that this time, they really, really mean it when they say they're going to rededicate themselves to quality:

"Yeah, yeah, Rob, whatever. It's nice that you got a picture of a renegade fighter jet tattooed on your penis, but we can't exactly put that in a Happy Meal, can we? Ooh! I think I see Jamie Foxx!" At the Stealth premiere in San Diego, Sony chief Amy Pascal rudely dismisses director Rob Cohen's misguided attempt at viral movie promotion.