• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to die?" One thing that's clear here: Spencer should have paid more attention in English class. [Us]
• Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall—who is about to kick off a guest stint on NBC's Community—has been ordered to stay away from his ex, Diana Falzone, a "relationship expert" who writes for the Huffington Post and hosts a show on Sirius. Falzone was granted a restraining order after Hall allegedly broke down her door last week and "bashed her head against a wall." [P6]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden secured a restraining order against two paparazzi who Richie says have been harassing her. Is it just us, or are restraining orders becoming all the rage? [TMZ]
• MTV has premiered Beyoncé's new video for "Video Phone" featuring a special guest appearance by Lady Gaga. In a surprising twist, it's Lady Gaga who looks fairly normal and Beyoncé who looks a little freaky. [MTV, NYP]

Meg Ryan and Nora Ephron leaving Esca after having lunch on Friday ... Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone walking in the West Village ... Celine Dion and Rene Angelil leaving their hotel en route to lunch at Da Tommaso on Eighth Avenue ... Alex Rodriguez walking in Midtown ... Jessica Stam hanging with boyfriend Austin Cregg and friends downtown ... Shia LaBeouf listening to music on the set of Wall Street 2 ... Nicole Kidman getting out of a car with daughter ... Taylor Momsen walking to the set of Gossip Girl ... James Gandolfini signing autographs outside the Bernard Jacobs Theatre ... Ruben Studdard arriving at JFK ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts pushing son Samuel in a stroller ... and Sienna Miller getting out of a cab.

• Washington power lobbyists and Democratic insiders Tony and Heather Podesta have been busy bees since Barack Obama was elected last fall. According to a report earlier this week, the couple's separate lobbying firms have racked up $25 million in fees thus far in 2009. Now they're spending some of their earnings, it seems: The couple has picked up New York pied-à-terre, paying $3.247 million for a sixth-floor apartment at the Sohmer Piano Building at 170 Fifth Avenue. [Cityfile]
• Four months after it was pulled off the market, the Sloane Mansion on 68th Street has a new listing and a new broker. The 104-year-old mansion, which was purchased by bankers Joseph Ingrassia and John Rice III for $20 million in 2007 and was offered for $64 million last year, is now in the hands of Corcoran's Leighton Candler. And it's almost half the price it was a year ago. The new listing has it priced at $39 million. [NYO, Corcoran]
• A one-bedroom co-op at the Sherry-Netherland has gone on the market for $9.5 million with Brown Harris Stevens broker Richard Wallgren. [NYO]

• Was Lindsay Lohan dating Heath Ledger at the time of his death? That was what came out yesterday when the latest clip from Michael Lohan's vast archive of recorded phone conversations was posted online. (Dina Lohan can be heard expressing concern that Lindsay was headed down the same path.) On tap for today? A call between Dina and Michael in which she tells her ex-husband that Lindsay has been cutting herself. [NYDN, NYP, Radar]
• Alleged David Letterman extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman appeared in court yesterday where his lawyer asked a judge to drop all the charges against the former news producer. The reason? Halderman's $2 million demand wasn't blackmail, silly. It was a legitimate business proposal in which Letterman could have first dibs on his screenplay, naturally. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Rihanna says she put on the tightest dress she could find to pick up Glamour's Woman of the Year award on Monday night at Carnegie Hall. She also spent $50,000 flying in her mom, aunts and brothers from Barbados to join her at the event. One person who was missing from the festivities: Her dad, who RiRi recently said abused her mom while growing up. [P6, NYDN]

Daniel Craig walking near Columbus Circle with girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell ... Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump walking downtown ... Iman crossing the street with her daughter in SoHo ... Michael J. Fox watching a New York Giants game ... Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos seated next to Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky at Lure on Saturday night ... Emily Blunt leaving her trailer on the set of The Adjustment Bureau in Midtown ... Mel Gibson walking with a friend in SoHo ... Adam Brody on the set of The Romantics on Long Island ... Sienna Miller walking her dog ... David Blaine hanging out in SoHo ... John McEnroe walking up Central Park West ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts pushing a stroller downtown ... Mariah Carey filming her latest music video ... Taylor Swift heading to the SNL afterparty ... Katie Holmes going to dinner in Tribeca ... and Alex Rodriguez and Jay-Z leaving Nello's.

Gemma Ward hailing a cab in the East Village ... Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos walking in Central Park ... Rihanna leaving the Gramercy Park Hotel and later arriving at JFK ... Sienna Miller talking on her phone on the street in SoHo ... Matt Damon returning to the set of The Adjustment Bureau in Fort Tryon Park ... Leelee Sobieski walking in Tribeca ... Katie Holmes and Adam Brody filming scenes for The Romantics ... Rachel Hunter standing on the set of Gravity in Central Park ... and Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez leaving Le Bilboquet on East 63rd Street after having lunch.

Sienna Miller is happy to wear other people's underwear, Michael Jackson liked to pee into cups in public and Rihanna says her life sucked so much after she got beaten up that she might as well have been Britney!

Wow. Do we have a special one today. Jon Gosselin, seeking help from a rabbi. Alex Rodriguez thinks he's a centaur. Jessica Simpson's man requirements. Lady Gaga's ballet. RobPatz's marriage prospects. Presenting your epic Halloween Morning Gossip Roundup. Get scared:

• Producers of Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show have been looking to add more drama by staging catfights between her friends and sister and having her chase men who are really just actors. At least the producers have solved their other problem and found a few "friends" willing to appear on camera. Regulars will include Hannah Bronfman (the party-loving daughter of Edgar Jr.) and Paul Johnson-Calderon (the guy who was caught stealing purses last spring). Interesting. [P6]
• Anderson Cooper has been vacationing in India with man-friend Benjamin Maisani. And it sounds like they're having quite the time: "Cooper's $3,200-a-night room features a four-poster mahogany bed and views of the gardens of the former Maharaja palace." Oh, and this: "Anderson's room has a large round bathtub. On the first night it was filled with bubbles and sprinkled with red rose petals." How romantic. [P6]
• Madonna visited the Malawi orphanage where she adopted her son David and one of the orphans approached her and told her, "You are our god." Not surprisingly, Madonna "seemed cool with it." [Us]

Billy Joel leaving his building and heading to Nello's (!) for lunch ... Michelle Williams walking daughter Matilda to school ... Blake Lively shopping downtown ... Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos attending a Rangers game with their kids ... Courteney Cox arriving at her hotel after an appearance on Regis & Kelly ... David Arquette leaving his hotel ... Kelly Rutherford on the set of Gossip Girl in Queens ... America Ferrera filming scenes for Ugly Betty ... Andy Samberg walking with girlfriend Joanna Newsom in SoHo ... Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen leaving ABC after an appearance on GMA ... and Alex Rodriguez walking with Kate Hudson to Serafina to have lunch.

• Madonna is taking a quick trip over to Malawi this weekend "to lay the foundation stone" at the new "multi-million dollar girls school she's building." That's funny. We could swear we heard about another celebrity doing almost exact same thing not too long ago. Oh, yes, her! Hopefully this time around there's a little less controversy. And let's also hope Malawian schoolchildren are ready to study Kabbalah from dawn till dusk. [Reuters]
• In related news, Madonna's ex, Alex Rodriguez, now appears to be taking an interest in Buddhism thanks to girlfriend Kate Hudson. Or at least he's pretending to be interested in it to make her happy. You decide! [NYDN]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz—sister of Jessica, wife of Pete, and the character Violet on The CW's Melrose Place—is now unemployed. Melrose's producers are taking a "It's not you, it's me" approach and saying the decision to cut her out of the show had nothing to do with the fact she can't act, but was because that had been their plan for the character from the beginning. [EW, People]

• Madonna reveals all sorts of juicy, personal stuff in an interview in the November issue of Rolling Stone. Like how she really wanted to work with Eminem, but he turned her down (ouch); how her graffiti tag name back in the '80s was "Boy Toy" (how ironic!); and how she was a total geek in high school, just like every other celeb in the universe. [P6, NYDN]
• Penelope Cruz is making a cameo in the Sex & the City sequel. Get ready to suspend belief: She'll be playing the role of a banker. [People]
• Emanuel Ungaro "creative consultant" Lindsay Lohan is blaming the epic disaster that was her recent fashion show in Paris on "coming in so late and having not that much time to do a whole collection." She also says she's still "learning" and that the negative press isn't going to stop her from returning to Paris in a few months to give it another shot. You go, girl! [People]
• Because he's a romantic at heart, Alex Rodriguez flew to Miami for a single night to take Kate Hudson to dinner. Oh, yea, and to see his kids, too. [P6]

Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of Sex and the City 2 in Brooklyn ... Alex Rodriguez walking to lunch in Midtown with his manager, Guy Oseary ... Hilary Duff kissing Penn Badgley on the set of Gossip Girl ... Rick Fox and Eliza Dushku walking in Midtown ... Olivia Palermo leaving the PIX11 studios ... Khloe Kardashian arriving at JFK and later shopping at the Apple store ... Tim Robbins talking to Matt Damon and Emily Blunt on the Adjustment Bureau set downtown ... Kate Gosselin getting out of an SUV in front her of hotel ... and Sienna Miller carrying her dog downtown.

Jude Law heading to lunch at August on Bleecker Street with his assistant, Ben Jackson ... Eva Mendes and Will Ferrell shooting scenes for The Other Guys on Staten Island ... Kate Hudson going to lunch at Bar Pitti with son Ryder and A-Rod ... Kim Kardashian arriving at JFK, and later leaving the Ritz-Carlton in Midtown ... Taylor Momsen standing on the set of Gossip Girl in Chinatown ... Scarlett Johansson walking to the gym with Ryan Reynolds ... and Ed Westwick eating lunch at Tortilla Flats with Jessica Szohr and his parents.

• Despite several tabloid reports yesterday that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel had broken up, they were photographed holding hands on Monday in Santa Barbara. So what's going on? "Things have been rocky the last few months, but they're working it out," one source tells the Post. ("They've been spending more time apart... and they've been reevaluating their relationship," another tells People.) Oh, and what about those Rihanna rumors? JT and Ri Ri are apparently just working on a track together. [People, P6, NYDN]
• Another dubious rumors making the rounds: that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are expecting a baby. Hudson's rep is denying it. [NYDN]
• Madonna told David Letterman that she'd "rather get run over by a train" than remarry again. Poor Jesus doesn't have a prayer, it seems. [HP]
• Lauren Conrad has snagged a movie deal for L.A. Candy, her debut novel about a totally unfamiliar topic, "a 19-year-old who moves to Hollywood, quickly finds fame as a reality series star and then has to deal with the ramifications of living a fishbowl life." [Variety]

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban holding hands outside their apartment building ... Lindsay Lohan arriving at JFK, checking in to her hotel, and later shopping with her mom Dina in SoHo ... Martha Stewart talking on her phone outside Bergdorf Goodman ... AnnaLynne McCord getting out of an SUV in front of MTV Studios in Times Square ... Alex Rodriguez leaving a restaurant with friends ... Regis Philbin crossing the street on the Upper West Side ... Taylor Momsen leaving a hotel with a friend ... Gavin Rossdale watching Roger Federer play at the US Open ... Chris Robinson walking with girlfriend Allison Bridges in SoHo ... Taraji P. Henson getting in an SUV outside her hotel in Midtown ... Chris Noth standing on the Sex and the City set in the West Village ... and Miranda Kerr leaving her hotel downtown.

• Are Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez engaged? The actress was spotted wearing a big diamond on her ring finger this week, which means "either A-Rod is making it official, or Ms. Hudson made some very careless jewelry choices." [NYDN]
• It's the battle of the Bravo reality TV stars on Twitter: Bethenny Frankel says Rachel Zoe is "self-important." Zoe claims Frankel is "insane" and "desperate for attention." Of course, you may find it hard to take sides here, since both of them seem to be making perfectly valid points about one another. [NYDN, Jezebel]
• Poor Gwyneth Paltrow suffered a little wardrobe malfunction while going through security at the Barcelona airport yesterday. [Sun]

• Madonna's trip to Israel is over. And it sounds like it was quite the party. Her entourage occupied a total of 11 suites and 25 hotel rooms; she brought her Italian chef with her as well as all her own exercise equipment aboard her private jet; and she received the sort of reception typically reserved for visiting presidents. Fun! [NYP]
• Michael Jackson's burial is finally scheduled to take placed today in Glendale, Calif. [MSNBC]
• DJ AM's burial took place in LA yesterday. Travis Barker, Scott Caan, DJ Jazzy Jeff, and members of Crazy Town turned up for the small service. In related news, although Goldstein didn't leave a will, he left behind about $1 million in assets. [Us, TMZ, People]
• The filming of the Sex and the City sequel has been getting a little chaotic, since fans have been turning up in droves at the locations. Fortunately, Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Noth remain unarmed. And extra security has supposedly been hired. [NYDN]

• Speculation over the cause of DJ AM's death last Friday continues. People's sources tell the magazine Goldstein had eight undigested OxyContin pills in his stomach (and a ninth in his mouth) when he died, pretty clear evidence it was a suicide. TMZ reported a few days ago that the overdose was accidental, and it's sticking by its version of events. [People, TMZ]
• In the meantime, Goldstein's ex-girlfriend, model Hayley Wood, is denying rumors that he took his life because he was distraught over their breakup. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan may now be leaving behind her LA home. But she may be leaving behind an unpaid $50,000 rent bill, too. [Radar]
• Kate Hudson is a little "clingy" when it comes to A-Rod, apparently. [MSNBC]

A Kate Hudson/Minka Kelly catfight is brewing, Matt Damon gets fat, Mary-Kate and Ashley double date, Kourtney Kardashian gets knocked up, Sienna Miller takes the "Slinky Wizard" home, Seth MacFarland says Stewie is gay and Jaime Pressly pees in public.