The voicemail message on "Real Housewife" Alex McCord's cell phone.

Earlier this morning we bemoaned the fact that Alex from Real Housewives New York was writing a book. An advice book, about parenting. Ugh, and hah! But maybe we didn't need to worry after all. A tipster from inside the book world tells us that Alex (and presumably her dopish, gayish husband Simon) had an agent shop the stupid thing around, but no one bit. All the publishing houses told her to come back once season two of the Bravo reality slosh started and maybe something could happen, but for the time being it's a no go.

Real Housewives of New York City star Alex McCord is writing a book about raising urban children. Like, advice giving. Step one: have a foppish be-accented husband. Step two: pretend to be fancy.

• Nobody makes Harvey Weinstein wait and that apparently includes Penelope Cruz, who faced his wrath in London last week when she showed up late to a screening of Vicky Cristina Barcelona, then went up to her suite to change outfits, causing Harvey to scream, "Tell her to get her f***ing ass here right now!" [Mirror]
• So much for A-Rod. Madonna has reportedly turned her attention to a male model named Jesus, who she met in Brazil and who's now on tour with her. Less importantly, Guy Ritchie may be dating Brit heiress Jemima Khan. [P6, The Sun, People]
• Courtney Love says she's stopped taking her antidepressant medication so she can "feel the rage" when she records her new album. That sounds healthy! [Daily Express]

After inexplicably deciding that the attention she'll get from becoming a castmember of the Real Housewives of New York is worth it, Kelly Killoren Bensimon—ex-wife of ancient photog Gilles Bensimon, former Elle staffer and current Page Six Magazine columnist—is now going to milk it while doing her best to convey that she's infinitely superior to her castmates, who don't even get invited to Fashion Week, by the way. At a party for her new jewelry line, Kelly shared her opinion of LuAnn, Jill and the rest of the gang with the Observer, and let's just say that if she's as good at designing jewelry as she is at damning with passive aggressive faint praise, she won't need to appear on crappy reality TV for more than one season!

[Alex McCord from "Real Housewives of New York City" at the Metropolitan Opera's season opener last night; image via Splash] es-ki-mo's new line beats the original, Real Housewives Star Finally Admits To Being Nothing More Than a Pile of Oats.

Drew Barrymore walking in the West Village ... Alex Rodriguez leaving a workout at the Reebok Gym ... Spike Lee posing for photos outside a hotel ... Julianne Moore carrying a shopping bag ... Kelly Ripa and David Blaine hanging upside down in Central Park for a Live segment ... Blake Lively and Leighton Meester walking around the Gossip Girl set ... Real Housewives' Alex McCord posing on the red carpet at the Metropolitan Opera season opener ... Actor Mark Ruffalo holding hands with his wife as they cross the street ... Natasha Bedingfield and Caroline Rhea leaving ABC Studios in Midtown ... and Chris Rock and Lance Armstrong outside the David Letterman show.

Not sure what you did this lovely Labor Day weekend—saw your family, or headed off to the beach, or maybe just wandered the temporarily-empty city—but I can bet that you were not having as nearly as much wonderfully disgusting fun as our tipster. He managed to catch glimpses of the terrifying Alex McCord, from Bravo's Real Housewives of New York City reality horror, and her dopey (and apparently well-endowed) husband Simon in the nude while on, of course, the topical tropical island of St. Barth's. With, ew, their children. (To be fair, Alex is often naked, but this sighting was in the flesh!) Read the effusive report after the jump.

Do you remember Alex McCord? Of course you do. She's the Real Housewives of New York City reality show star with the sorta-gay husband who likes to pose nude a lot. If she was one of your favorites on RHoNY, fear not. She and hubby Simon and their two poor bastard fake French children will be stomping around Boerum Hill for the show's second season. Never mind that the pair were painted as status-hungry buffoons on the first season; filming begins soon for the second, and Silex are excited:

["Real Housewife" of New York City Alex McCord at a charity for water event in New York last night; image via WENN]