Holocaust jokes from Radar's Alex Balk.

Gawker publisher Nick Denton has his own very funny online imitator, Nick Guido Denton, aka Fake Nick Denton, who real Denton said in this comment no one should "out." But Gawker also has a video magician named Richard Blakeley, who sits awake, late at night, making charts and probably drinking too much coffee, trying to figure out who the hell Nick Guido Denton is, and going slowly insane. He has developed a number of theories and possible candidates, and once told me "I am like Kevin Costner in JFK." Blakeley apparently couldn't bear to keep the truth from the American people any longer and has finally floated his own very detailed theory about who is pretending to be Nick Denton, which is presented here in distilled format, along with a brief video of Blakeley trying to explain it:

Our much-vaunted, delightfully lecherous Gawker photog Nikola Tamindzic has launched a new photosite, Home of the Vain. It's no longer just nightlife photography! By way of introduction, he's showcasing never-before-seen half-naked photos of Josh and Emily, back when things were brighter. Josh frankly glistens, and Emily? Well, she always looks like a million bucks. (Meanwhile, Alex Balk lets us know that the best thing about his new job is the "respect I get from my co-workers.")

Former Gawker editor Joshua David Stein's Page Six Magazine story on the unhappy end of his not-quite-secret romantic relationship with former Gawker editor Emily Gould leaves neither of them looking particularly mature. It is, poetically, not available online. The best recap may be this one, from Karen, an "avid quilter" and "middle aged blogger." Former Gawker editor Alex Balk gives Barack Obama "the coveted Balk endorsement," because he hates baby boomers, dynasties, and women (j/k!). He also pens the ultimate Radar post. Former Gawker managing editor Choire Sicha interviewed Paulda Abdul, commented on the Stein/Gould affair via IM transcript, and started a band. Jessica Coen: still Tumblring. Update: The full story, with commentary, may be found here.

Anyone who follows Gawker's coverage of certain blogs on Tumblr could easily assume that the simple blogging tool is like LiveJournal for privileged white 20-somethings, and entirely unworthy of attention. But that's only the part that we, in our mocking masochistic obsession, have focused on, while ignoring the circus of delights that Tumblr can be. In fact, much as I want you to read my whole guide to the best and worst of Tumblr below, I'd rather you just went and read one of the best blogs from Tumblr, The Triumph of Bullshit.

Former Gawker editor (and probably one the best we've ever had) Alex Balk now works at Radar. You'd think working at Gawker for so long is when he'd lose his soul but that turns out not to be true. It was under Radar's watch that on January 22nd, Alex Balk lost whatever shred of humanity lurked inside his hoary albeit well-sculpted bosom, or so his tumblr says.

Doree is bored by The Wire's Baltimore Sun storyline. Choire is at a seafood restaurant in South Carolina. Emily is posting photos of her dog (and criticizing books about sad literary men). Balk is really sorry he hasn't updated in a while but it's been totally crazy at work!

On his Tumblr today, Alex Balk muses on Nick Denton's morality, suggests that his vision of hell involves doing his current job with Radar, and makes one (1) tit joke. Guest-blogging at kottke.org, Choire Sicha continues mining Times metro sections of days past for ironies and gimlet-eyed commentary on the sorry state of 2008 New York. Doree Shafrir has a photo of Emily Gould's dog. Emily Gould has re-launched her blog. Jesse Oxfeld IMd us earlier to remind us that he has "a very small and entirely static presence" on the Internet. Jessica Coen's website has itself been fairly static since the start of the year. [Previously]

Former Gawker editor Alex Balk is blogging again! No, not really at Radar, where he works, but on his Tumblr. Have you heard of Tumblr? Allow former Gawker editor Doree Shafrir to explain—in the New York Observer, where she works, or on her Tumblr! Turns out blogging's fun when you're not getting paid for it! More good news: Denton has asked our tech wizards to "splice in" Balk's Tumblr, so you can read his drink-soaked classic rock-despising wisdom right here. (Though not at Radar, where you can read Tionna Smalls' East New York Truth.)

The applications are flooding in to be the new honcho of this website! Today we received a submission from an old friend, one that we thought should be shared with the whole class.

Last night Radar, which is a magazine, threw a party at Goldbar for its new Politics issue. Outside, someone said that if Goldbar disappeared at that moment from the face of the earth, no one in New York would be offended. But there were free drinks, gold plated skulls, a slew of enemies and a couple of friends and a few awkward situations. Nikola Tamindzic was there to capture the gilded glory of it all.

Mark Twain once suggested that we rejoice at a birth and weep at a funeral because we are not the person involved, and that, along with the cartoon you see here, is about as close to my philosophy of life as you're ever gonna get. So guess what? I'm kind of shockingly sad to be leaving Gawker. There will be tears. Who would have thought?

Our story thus far: Balk and Cock, a pair of itinerant internet laborers, wind up working at Old Man Denton's Gawker farm. Though comically oversized, Cock is simple-minded and unaware of his own strength; Balk looks after him and tries to keep him out of trouble. Unfortunately, Cock cannot help his impulses. First he fucks a mouse to death, then a puppy, and then one of the ad sales people. As a lynch mob lead by ad boss Batty closes in, Balk realizes that there's no way he can save his friend this time.

Last night we went out for late drinks at Von, on Bleecker, to observer the departure of Alex Balk and Doree Shafrir from this here website. There I was accosted by a woman who was referred to as a "slutty intern" in a recent Gawker post about Harper's editor Roger Hodge.

I opened up my e-mail this morning and saw a subject line that read "Good morning from your first fan." Here it is:
"Hi Alex:
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you the best in all that you do.
Love, Mom"
I have no idea how I'm gonna get through my last day at work here without crying. Or puking. Oh my God, you guys, so hungover.

BalkerStalker: You still going to post comments on Gawker once you leave?
Balk BTW: I dunno. I think it would sort of feel like being that guy who still hangs around high school after high school.
BalkerStalker: Yeah. Hate those guys.
BalkerStalker: What about your cock?
Balk BTW: My Cock hangs around high schools NOW.
Balk BTW: So probably.

22-year-old N.Y.U. dropout Alex Pareene has been forced to live in Washington, D.C. for more than a year now. He took over at Wonkette in January, 2006. That is sad, because D.C. is no place for the young. (Except for the getting robbed. That's good for kids.) I have rectified this situation. As Alex Balk leaves us, although he may be irreplaceable, at least a new Alex shall rise. He starts Monday after next, and will be back in New York as soon as he and his girlfriend (I know, right?) can work that out. It's not like we pay relocation costs or anything. I'm sure they'll find an apartment somewhere Rockaways-adjacent!

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

Glaring Omissions reproduces tips received from readers in the last week that weren't covered on Gawker, either by accident (it happens!) or by design (it happens more often).

Alex Balk, the man who drunkenly typed his way through a thousand angry posts on the deficiencies of Radar, has done the unthinkable. He's leaving Gawker to become the executive editor of Radar.com. Do you know what this means? It means he was right about every single thing he said. We claim victory. All sort-of kidding aside, what can we say? We love him and we'll miss him terribly; it's sick. We are taking his fingernails now to clone him. And his last two weeks here should be a wild ride.