In light of The Falls' bouncer Darryl Littlejohn emerging as a suspect in the murder case of Imette St. Guillen, the media has naturally turned to wondering about the nature of the "bouncing industry." Littlejohn had a criminal record and yet he was working the door; hadn't management conducted a background check? Or do venues just not care?
We're hesitant to write about the murder of Imette St. Guillen, partly because it sincerely scares the shit out of us (that counts as our vocabulary for genuine human misfortune, right?), partly because we're content to let Gothamist ride the beat up to that big Dateline spot in the sky. But as the story develops, it's becoming clear that the bouncer from The Falls, the last bar where St. Guillen, may be more than an innocent bystander in her stomach-twisting death.
• Rick and Kathy Hilton fail to score an invite to the Vanity Fair Oscar Party; apparently the invite list has been reduced by 500, probably to accomodate Jamie Foxx's posse. [Page Six]
• The pre-Oscar party at the Roosevelt features every coked-up member of young Hollywood, very few of who are actually speaking to one another. [R&M]
• NB to Eliot Spitzer: You can take our smokes, you can take our dancing, but you will not take away our open bars! [Page Six]
• When a senator gets involved with NASCAR, no good can come of it. [Lowdown]
• And because Friday is Obvious Day, Lindsay Lohan is pictured near a bong. Try not to wet yourself with shock. [Egotastic]
• Why is it that one of the most powerful women in the world is still doing interviews about her weight, diet, and workout regime? Because her triceps are fucking awesome, that's why. [Wonkette]
• For their 10th anniversary issue, Fast Company loses their mind and lets photographer Phil Toledo disturb the hell out of everyone. Babies may be cute, but baby-suits are not. [Young Manhattanite]
• Our globe-trotting brother at Gridskipper is looking for some sacrificial virgins for internships. Go forth and impress the hell out of him. [Gridskipper]
• NBC White House correspondent David Gregory never calls Don Imus without first enjoying a nice glass of Alize. [Drudge]
• Coinciding with the release of the film version of The Da Vinci Code is its corresponding porn video, The Da Vinci Load. Considering both star Tom Hanks, it'll be tough to choose which to see first. [Book Standard]
• Live MSNBC facing death? [TMZ]
• Deconstructing the HuffPo scholarship. [Snarksmith]
• Smokey Fontaine takes over the helm at Giant; Robert Goulet to assume managing duties. And then there's a rumored merger with Complex, which would be cool just for the sake of having a magazine called Giant Complex. It'd be a must read for everyone in media. [Mediaweek]
Apropos nothing, a reader sends us a moving image of young Emma Watson (age 15), co-star of the Harry Potter movies, enjoying an icy cold Corona. While this can only mean shame, rehab, and a True Hollywood Story for Watson, this is the best thing to happen to the publishing industry in years: Instead of JK Rowling finishing Harry Potter with her next book, the seventh and final in the series, she can continue to rake in millions with a young adult drug and alcohol spin-off series. What parent wouldn't want their child to own The Muggle's Guide to Peer Pressure?
Dude, what are you doing tonight? Oh, shit, you don't have plans? Awesome, 'cause T-Brah just booked this totally bumping Party Bus for tonight! Seriously, yo: this fucking bus, man, it'll pick you up and take you wherever you want. Like, Murray Hill and the Meatpacking District and all that hotness. But, swear, you're not even gonna want to leave the bus. You can fucking smoke and drink in that bitch, yeah, whatever you want. We're all going, and Rob even called those two strippers — yeah, the Tampa girls, you KNOW it — to come along, 'cause this motherfucker has POLES in it! The entire pledge class is signed up for tonight — aw, God, it's gonna be so awesome.
• Morgan Stanley boots 4 employees after they accompanied clients to a strip club. Apparently this touches on Morgan Stanley's touchy gender discrimination issues, but we find it just as offensive to assume a female staffer wouldn't want to take the high rollers to Scores. [Wall Street Folly]
• After three years of delightly offensive and brilliantly entertaining pro bono work, the Black Table throws in the towel and heads to rehab. [Black Table]
• Are they Yindies? Yupsters? Or just annoying fuckwit posers? [LA Weekly & Newsweek]
• A reasonably kind rationalization of your Life & Style habit, courtesy of Salon. [Salon]
• Slightly more pleasant than chugging glasses of Airborne. [Female First]
• Supermodel Kate Moss, always the bravest girl in Bolivia, agrees to return to London to speak with authorities about that whole cocaine thing. [Telegraph]
• Happy New Year, John Norris. You're gonna need it. [MisShapes]
• We may not LURVE New York's 101 restaurants, but we certainly wouldn't rather watch an episode of 2 and a Half Men instead. That's just crazy talk. [PDHyman]
• Club kid killer Michael Alig is baaack! [WOW]
• You can jack the price of hooch up all you want; it's not going to stop a single person from getting hammered at brunch. [Reuters]
• Get more for your money at Starbucks. [Slate]
• McSweeney's grows a precious new tentacle called Wholpin, for DVDphiles. [Cool Hunting]
• Is there any limit to the fun we can have at Tara Reid's expense? [Gallery of the Absurd]
By reader request, here's another thrilling episode of "Just Asking" courtesy of the street-pounders over at Page Six. (It was either this or a Gossip Round-up and frankly I see no reason for me to condense what you can easily skim on your own. Tough love, bitches.)
• Mike Myers and his wife of the past 12 years, Robin Ruzan (whose Jewish mother was the inspiration behind Myers' Linda Richman character on Saturday Night Live), have filed for divorce. What went wrong? By using the clues in Gawker Stalker, you can piece together the decline of a marriage and the rise of an alcoholic. Which is exactly what we designed the feature for. [The Apiary]
• A court has lifted a Santa Fe woman's restraining order against David Letterman, who, she claims, used code words during his show to give her instructions on how to eat crayons and wear tinfoil hats. [AP]
• When bloggers turn unreasonably nasty on commonfolk, nobody wins. It's akin to cannibalism, snarking on one's own kind. [Perez Hilton]
• Yes, we know that horsey 90210 alum Tori Spelling is engaged to a new beau, despite being not yet divorced from her ex-husband. May her new man enjoy riding her around the Spelling mansion. [Us Weekly]
• Patrick Swayze is delving into hip-hop, using "rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads." We always felt Dirty Dancing would be profoundly improved with the addition of gold teeth and bitches. [AllHipHop]
• You may consider yourself a gay wino, but are you gay and drunk enough to own a collectible bottle of Madonna's "Confessions on a Dance Floor" wine? [Celebrity Cellars]
• A new sense of pity for Women's Wear Daily reporter Jacob Bernstein, whose mother Nora Ephron will never be happy until her baby boy finds her a cabbage strudel. [NYT]
It's exactly 15 days until New Year's Eve, and we're guessing you couldn't care less. We certainly couldn't. Like St. Patrick's Day, the 31st is a giant amateur hour, an excuse for wannabe-alcoholics to waste hundreds of dollars on an overcrowded, open bar, and don sparkly shirts that no God could ever have intended for them to wear. And after the ball drops and your night has officially reached its expected level of letdown, you can spend 75 minutes searching for a cab, only to finally hail a ride in a mobile vomit unit. Fun!
• Thanks to the Daily Show, American Apparel becomes the latest victim in the War on Christmas. There's a holiday lesson to be learned here: When you sodomize a reindeer, nobody wins. [American Apparel]
• Fox News's Roger Friedman seems a bit too excited at how gay the Oscars are shaping up to be. [Fox411]
• The best thing about rare color photographs from the Depression? You can see how hard black folk worked, and yet managed to keep their nails matching their bandanas. You can thank the Library of Congress for that one. [Flickr via Vitamin Castercat]
• Even social drinkers have a hard time putting down the bottle. Tell us about it. [LAT]
• Elton John de-Gays his performance a bit by including a video of Pamela Anderson pole-dancing, but it's a bit too hetero for NBC. Nothing's ever good enough for these people. [E! Online]
• Somewhere in Brooklyn, someone has created a brothel with life-size dolls. We're so horrified, we don't even have a joke. [Craigslist]
...by getting wasted at Marquee, groping young Texans, and getting slapped. You know, the usual.
• Dave Eggers and Isaac Mizrahi: separated at birth? [Radar]
• If you're going to attempt to make your own Hot Toddy, you better do it right. The Webtender allows you to search a database and prevent any throat-burning fuck-ups. [Lifehacker]
• Gay "it boy" designer Zac Posen may not make clothes for fatties, but if you're a pregnant supermodel, he might be willing to help you out. [WWD]
• She may not be able to lure Lindsay Lohan onto her show, but Kelly Ripa can wheel and deal her way to the top of Manhattan's real estate pile. Homegirl's busy, yo. [Curbed]
• Dear Prudence: If my boyfriend's dad calls me a "bitch," does that mean I have to make him dinner and get his slippers, too? [Slate]
• Happy Something-or-Another to CNN, who celebrates its 1000th day in Iraq. Gosh, it seems like just yesterday that we first saw military light a reporter's face with that beautiful, fiery glow. [What's Happening at CNN]
• David Schwimmer is slated to star in the Broadway revival of The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial. Sadly, there will be no monkey, no Rachel, and no interest. [Reuters]
• And, last but certainly not least, today marks the 25th anniversary of the murder of John Lennon. Commemorate in your own special way, be it listening to Imagine, cursing Yoko, or taking LSD. [CBS]
• Prepare your feeble gullets and blue-collar livers for the triumphant glory of Trump: The Booze: The Poster! [Defamer]
• Times Boldfacer Campbell Robertson does his best to grapple with the disintegration of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's marriage, especially since Simpson told Boldface in September that her marriage was solid. Don't take it personally, but, yes, honey, she lied to you. She lied to all of us. [NYT]
• Actor Ralph Fiennes considers suing the Post after a Page Six item claimed he was "canoodling" with Gina Gershon at a recent rock show. Since we got that same press release from the venue and "canoodling" was nowhere in the original item, we'd have to venture that some Posties may be guilty as charged. [LA.com]
• Perplexed over the appropriate holiday gift for someone you've just started dating? Don't be — everyone loves Christmas anal. [NY Sun]
• Finally, a Thrillist suggestion we can get behind: feed the fratboys poisonous fish. [Thrillist]
As Damon Dash, Robert Popov, and Gary Smirnoff all know, your money ain't a thing until you've got your own brand of vodka. Donald Trump, determined to keep his seat on the Playa-Fantastic Bandwagon, has finally accepted this universal truth and, through some sort of partnership with Drinks Americas, his alcoholic dreams have become reality. Says the Donald:
30-year-old Darcy Smith (left) of South Orange is hot. So hot, in fact, that she can't even knock back a $15 cosmo without being constantly hit on by the suave gentlemen of New York nightlife. Weary of being asked to dance and offered drink after tiresome drink, Smith put a posting on Craigslist looking for a security guard to accompany her and her friends during their nights out on the town. Enter 315-pound Brendan Reed, one of three bodyguards Smith hired to keep the lady-killers at bay. Now, thanks to her personal security detail, Smith can pretend she's J-Lo and enjoy a night out with her girlfriends at Spirit.
• Droll Gawker alum Elizabeth Spiers ditches her EIC gig at Mediabistro, sends requisite farewell memo, sells her first novel, and yet everyone speaks in hushed tones about the advance.
• But more importantly: Which poor fool will be Spiers's replacement at the 'Bistro?
• We spend some time on the Panel of the Damned.
• You can't just say no to free drugs!
• The Times found its inner inner fratboy.
• And the city's "elite" who received the advance warning about this month's credible non-credible terror threat are revealed to be little more than crunchy art lovers.
• Forthcoming 7-Eleven marks UES apocalypse.
• The 40 best magazine covers remind us of the piss-poor state of our glossies' art departments.
Also — yes, yes — to find gambling going on.
