When you're curled up against the toilet trying to sober up later on this evening, don't say we didn't warn you. In honor of St. Patrick's day, we present to you the ultimate collection of the drunkest people falling down.

The most surprising revelation in Ad Age's story on Bud Light's failed "Drinkability" ad campaign is that "Drinkability" was apparently supposed to be an actual thing—the "ideal rational benefit," the consultants said. Haha. Really? Shut up. Really? "Drinkability?"

"Japanese barteder and cocktail-shaking philosopher" Kazuo Uyeda is coming down from the isolated monastery where he toils to perfect a "controversial method of shaking drinks": the "Hard Shake," the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique of booze.

Spring is right around the corner, so instead of partying with your buds with a cooler of High Life and a sprinkler, turn your backyard into a Teutonic Party Zone and you'll be toasting to Gaston in no time.

No better way to confirm a rumor than with video proof. A sauced George Clooney saunters down the red carpet with his date for the night—Jack Daniels. And he's not shy to show how wasted he is.

The eight residents of a house at 2000 S St., NW, in Washington, D.C. were selected to be the subject of a study about alcohol abuse and violence. These are the sad, horrible, appalling, bloody findings.

A new study throws every single PSA that relies on shame into jeopardy, because when youth see images of humiliated people covered in their own vomit, they don't see warnings. They see inspiration. [AdAge]

Last night on The Millionaire Matchmaker we saw a first-hand account of how to ruin a glamorous date with one of Patty's millionaires: showing up to the date schnockered. Here, Angel shows us how to ruin a night in Vegas.

For the first part of the date, Jimmy D decided to throw down $50,000 in a poker game with Angel. She doesn't know how to play at all, and what's worse—she reeks of alcohol! In this clip, Jimmy D mentions his concerns for Angel's drunkenness, but plays along and teaches her the game.

Today Tyra showcased the new teen craze that will be shocking our Moms and Dads across America. Since they already know what "sexting" is, Tyra coined a new affliction: Drunkorexia.

Did you know that the government is subsidizing the production of delicious rum?

If you're not into violence—particularly in the form of drunken bodies of Real World cast-mates falling onto concrete after being rolled off a balcony(!!!)—you may want to skip this clip. To the brave—onward!


[via Inside TV]

Unlike most morning show segments, this guide to understanding wine from yesterday's Regis and Kelly is actually helpful! Kevin Zraly, of the Windows on the World wine course, breaks it down for us quite simply.

Only a barbarian would pair a chardonnay with Dover sole. Now you can impress your man or ladyfriend by knowing which varietal of Two-Buck Chuck to drink with your next home-cooked meal!

After his first day at his new job, Scott Brown "stayed true to his truck-driving, everydude persona by doing a shot of Irish whiskey and swilling a Bud Light draft at the Dubliner pub this evening to celebrate his swearing-in."

State of the Union time! There will be special commenting, and drinking, from your favorite bloggers, as long as your favorite bloggers are me! But what should we expect, and when should we drink?

Cold season is one of the worst times of year. The good news is that it gives you a perfect excuse to make the cold remedy mom never wanted you to know about: the Hot Toddy.

"Hello, my name is Creepy Old Dude on YouTube, and I am quite clearly an alcoholic."

George Will wrote about the Atlantic Yards mess! Which we learned about in an email blast from beloved Prospect Heights dive Freddy's! All of this is weird, to us. Especially the "agreeing with George Will" part!

Using explosives to put out a forest fire is as counter-intuitive as it is awesome. Opening a beer with another beer is just plain neat. Learn these moves because you're never going to be brave enough to do this otherwise.

We have a mug shot for "money honey" and Orszag-fiancee Bianna Golodryga. (She was arrested for drunk driving, and pleaded no contest. Just like it was no contest between her and Peter's old girlfriend am I right?) [NYDN]

Yeah, you might need to watch this one today.