In your buggy Monday media column: Kathleen Parker's exact worth is pinpointed, the HuffPo-AOL merger dissection and fallout begins, complaints about The Daily increase, and beware of Al Jazeerans attempting to infiltrate America via television screens.

Journalists invited to a party hosted by Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu were forced to undergo an intensive strip search Thursday, taking off pants, shirts and bras. Now the Israeli Press office says sorry for the stripping.

Al Jazeera's Afghanistan correspondent on why arresting local stringers only hurts war coverage.

In your bold Tuesday media column: female anchors walk out at Al-Jazeera, a slew of media job changes, Newsweek's sale draws closer, Graydon Carter's newest fancy, and happy birthday CNN.

Someone didn't get the memo about Barack Obama being a Muslim. A Syrian man was arrested today in Turkey in connection with a plot to kill Obama during his visit to the country.

We think you'll agree that this recap of Bernie Madoff's appearance in court today—which is narrated by a Brit and was broadcast on Al-Jazeera—is far more entertaining than the one you'll be seeing on American cable news networks this evening. [Al-Jazeera]

Muzzammil Hassan started Bridges TV in part to counter Muslim stereotypes. Instead, people are debating whether his brutal alleged murder of his wife was an Islamic honor killing.

We doubt Apple will sign this guy up for an endorsement deal, but Mullah Zaif, a former Taliban official, raved about his iPhone to Al Jazeera correspondent Hamish McDonald during a visit in Kabul.

Monday is a great day for a media column! Today: The good news is more international reporting; the bad news is black people (and bloggers!) are still fighting the power, in the US of A:

So who is, like, winning all the medals this Olympics? Besides Michael Phelps I mean. It's a tricky question! If you're watching at home in U.S. America, you're probably inclined to think "America!" because not only does your capacity for snack food consumption mean NBC is raking in the most ad revenue in broadcasting the games, US media outlets conveniently ranks the countries in terms of "medals won," whereby the U.S. wins (by a hair!) and sits atop the official Medal Count, whereas over in China — and Hong Kong — they're ranking the countries in terms of gold medals scored, and China's winning that race by like 96. (Okay, 17.) In search of true journalistic objectivity we decided to consult some news sites representing countries without a proverbial "horse" in this race. Al-Jazeera!And guess what, Osama Bin Laden's mouthpiece says we won. They know what side of the balance of superpower their anti-hegemonic crusade is buttered (guns-ed?) on! Al Jazeera China Daily (Please note the awesome animated flame on this site!) Related: Did Bush Really Want To Bomb Al Jazeera? [The Nation]

Republican Congressional candidate Allen West didn't know what to think. Some gal called saying she worked for an "Al Jazeera??" And she wanted him to talk on some "show" about the situation in Afghanistan, where he served as a military officer? Like he's going to tell his Army secrets to some Madrassa or whatever, in front of their martyr cameras! Then this "booker" wanted his address so she could "pick him up" — at night, the most terrifying time of day! You know what that means: A hood goes on, your hands are bound, and the next thing you know you're in Dearborn Michigan. So West reported her in to the FBI, for violating freedoms.

The Arabic news network Al Jazeera has signed a five-year distribution deal with Munich-based Studio100 Media to broadcast the live-action children's series "Bumba the Clown." Bumba is a moon-faced circus harlequin who plays the drums and imparts pearls of wisdom to the pre-K set (see YouTube here.) One Belgian IMDB reviewer with a 9-month-old who can't get enough raves: "The show revolves round a yellow dressed clown and his friends. There's another clown, a bear, a rhino, an elephant, an Asian girl and I think there's a bird somewhere as well. Maybe a monkey. (You can't blame me for not remembering, I hardly watch it)." So goodbye cycles of violence in Iraq, Syria, Palestine and Sudan, where Bumba will now appear regularly.

Al Jazeera English isn't carried by any American cable TV systems, and that's in part because "some... were disappointed it wasn't hanging people or torturing people, said a former executive... 'If it looks like the BBC, why should we add it?'" In other words, the network is floundering not just because some associate it with Islamic extremists, but because others find it not extreme enough. The new managing director of the network, a Canadian named Tony Burman, is promising to change all that and to emulate some of the "fearless, bold and provocative" coverage of Arabic Al Jazeera. The change came after a bunch of Americans and Brits left the network, saying it was being controlled more tightly out of Qatar. Outgoing anchor Dave Marash said he saw signs of anti-Americanism creeping in to coverage before he left. But a certain skepticism toward U.S. foreign policy would make for an enlightening viewpoint on cable news, if only to contrast with the increasingly opinionated coverage from the American channels. And who better to lead some sober antagonism against America than a Canadian? [Times]

The top American anchor on Al Jazeera English left the controversial Qatar-based news network because, he said, the whole thing was getting a little too Middle Eastern. According to the Times, "headquarters in Doha provided more and more direction about the assignment of stories and the point of view... the English-language channel started to more closely resemble its larger sibling, the prominent Arabic-language channel Al Jazeera, he said." Americans and Brits have been upset about funding and alleged political interference for months. Things looked much different two years ago, when the anchor, Dave Marash, braved Stephen Colbert's show to champion the channel, arguing that Al Jazeera's English-language channel was virtually autonomous from the Arabic channel in Qatar:

After barely a year on the air, Al Jazeera English is hamstrung by the very Western-Arab tensions the channel was created to mend. The Brits and Americans are recoiling as they lose once-generous funding from the Emir of Qatar and as the channel is transformed from a relative independent into something of a lapdog for neighboring dictators. Outside critics (like the Times of London) say the channel needs less wonky internationalism and more "news from home," i.e. America and Britain. That sounds a lot like the makeover Samantha Bee was mocking in her hilarious Daily Show segment on the launch of Al Jazeera English, excerpted after the jump.

After a year's delay, the English-language version of al-Jazeera — the Arab television network based in Qatar — will finally debut on Wednesday. The Guardian has a complete rundown on the tangled backstory of how the channel has finally come about. Of particular note is the London-based crew of broadcasters al-Jazeera recruited from other networks and institutions from all over the world, some attracted to the commercial-free, ratings-proof nature of the channel (it's funded by the Emir of Qatar). Strangely, we haven't noticed al-Jazeera popping up on Time Warner cable guide just yet; if you know how to get the channel in New York without serious nerd science, let us know.

• You can't pay people to read newspapers these days. [PEJ]
  

• That Times front-pager on Saturday about the Iraqi prisoner who was photographed robed, hooded, wired up, and quasi-crucified at Abu Ghraib? Yeah, well, they maybe didn't get the right guy. [Salon]
• One bit of good news on Cooper Square? Voice art critic is said to be a Pulitzer finalist. [Arts Journal]
• Times announces it will stop publishing daily stock listings; a five senior-citizen amateur investors give a shit. [NYT]
• Al-Jazeera can't get U.S. distribution for its new English-language channel. Imagine that. [NYS]

• How'd People land the preggers-Angelina scoop? By donating something like $400K to one of the actress's favorite charities. "It is not a pay for access deal," says the mag's new chief. No, not at all. [NYP]
• Brandon Holley's Jane is kicking ass on the newsstand, it turns out. [WWD (second item)]
• Regret The Error's Craig Silverman is nitpicking because he cares. Yeah, us too. [Media Orchard]
• Thought Radar was short-lived? Behold Game Industry Report, which lasted for one day. [Folio:]
• It's not just Abramoff: Turns out the mag biz pay several firms about $500K each year to lobby lawmakers. [Folio:]
• With three jobs instead of his one old one, Ted Koppel really promises he'll be working less now. [WP]
• And Nightline vet Dave Marash signs on as Washington anchor for soon-to-launch Al Jazeera International, presumably only after Koppel decided three "retirement" gigs were enough. [Media Mob/NYO]

• David Frost, already on on shaky ground for general smarminess, will probably find that his new gig at Al-Jazeera will cut short any trips to the US he may have planned. [WaPo]
• Bill Keller makes fun of Fox News, Yahoo, and the Saturday Wall Street Journal. When asked about Judy Miller, he covered his ears, chanted loudly. There is an admission that the paper is preventing its reporters from writing in-depth about the story, which comes as a surprise to absolutely no one. [BusinessWeek]
• Did you know that there was a "bitter East Hampton newspaper war" going on? Right now, even? [NYM]
• The Times gets in on the advertorial action with a free movie magazine to be handed out and promptly thrown out at a movie theater near you. AdRants]
• We're guessing Time's beatific Hemingway-impersonator covers don't sell quite as well as the annual Jesus issue. [MediaMob]