After John Carney issued his annual holiday list of girls to avoid, blogger and editor Melissa Lafsky offered up her response: a catalog of guys that women must avoid at all costs. This originally appeared on her blog Opinionista.

When he's not covering Wall Street for Clusterstock or opining for provacative trend stories, John Carney likes to catalog the kind of ladies guys should not date. Melissa Lafsky has issued a riposte.

It might appear that Tiger Woods has lots of problems these days, but in fact he only has one problem: He is a boring, boring man who finds himself in a non-boring situation. We know how to solve this.

Rachel Uchitel is a mess. Her reputation, that is! Her hair's fine. But the Tiger Woods Affair allegations are everywhere. As are other salacious rumors. And pictures. You're not handling it well, Rachel. We're here to help you take control.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and the spending-time-with-family anxiety has likely already set in. What better way to take your mind off of the impending holiday drama—you know, Grandma pre-gaming at 9am with a handle of scotch, Uncle Bob's off-color jokes—than by looking into all the crazy Thanksgiving accoutrements you can pick up this Turkey Day? A few favorites after the jump.

"A 13-year-old girl won't interact with her long-distance father, and she even called him 'gay' for caring. What's a dad to do?" Point out that she's the gay one, and she looks like a slut. Kids' respect is earned. [WaPo]

After an all-too-brief period as King of the Tabloids, the New York Post's circulation is cratering. Could the "Scurrilous Money-Losing Yellow Tabloid Propped Up By a Rich Foreign Patron" formula be on the wane? Everyone must pitch in to help!

Authors: never get conned by a friendly reporter into doing one of those "Let's Explore This Famous Writers' Work Space" stories. Your cool office is only cool in secret. We mean you, Jonathan Lethem!

Lucinda Rosenfeld, advice columnist for Slate's woman-focused DoubleX, has accomplished something we haven't, yet: She's pissed off her readers so much they started a petition demanding she be fired. Lucinda's crime: Rape. Oh no, wait. Just unpopular advice.

Where was CBS on that whole David Letterman affair scandal, hmmm?? Oh yea: They were airing hours upon hours Letterman's own explanations of it. Which were masterful. Now, CBS News wants to get to the bottom of it. Meh. Don't.

You know who was a good leader, according to Forbes "Leadership" columnist Sangeeth Varghese? Hitler. Showed a lot of gumption in WW1. And civil improvement? He was big on civil improvement. Of course, he had his drawbacks.

The Jane Hotel's "Ballroom" hasn't exactly been a welcome addition to the neighborhood since it opened a couple of months ago. Local residents have waged war on the hotspot, filing grievances with the city about excessive taxicab traffic, sidewalk smokers, and "noisy nightclub" music. And the hotel owners are fighting back. A New York Times story about the tiff set to run on the cover of the paper's real estate section this weekend was pulled when one of the co-owners, Richard Born, reportedly called editors at the paper and claimed it wasn't totally objective. Naturally, the writer—a blogger and freelance writer for the Times—posted the story to her blog regardless. And now, the gloves are off.

Golden-hued flack Lizzie Grubman made a professional comeback after running people over with her car. ShamWow guy Vince Shlomi was arrested for beating a cannibal hooker. Now he's hired Lizzie Grubman to engineer his comeback. Perfect. Allow us to assist.

Ashley Dupre is ready for redemption! It's been a year and a half since she became the girl who took down luv gov Eliot Spitzer, and now she tells the Post she's looking forward to love, marriage, and becoming a baby mama. But let's face it: the girl hasn't always been so lucky with men. (In fairness to her, meeting an upstanding guy when you're in the escort business has got to be tough.) But since she's starting over with a clean slate these days, we thought she should start off with a fresh start romantically, too. Herewith, a list of potential suitors for the escort-turned-budding-singer.

Teen Vogue is cannily taking advantage of the widespread yearning to work in fashion by publishing a new "Handbook" which says—we're paraphrasing—"You will fail. Fashion sucks." But the NYT digs up one solitary useful piece of advice.

Question for insane advice columnist Cary Tennis: "Should I ask you for advice?" Response: "Some days I ask myself if I want to live and the answer is eight pelicans going north in a gray sky." In other words, "No."

We asked, and you answered. After the jump, everything you need to know about how to survive a McKinsey & Co. visit to your company, without getting canned. This one's for you, Conde Nasties.

Lost in the glee over Bernie Madoff's prison sentence is this: What will become of poor Ruth Madoff? She's stalked by paparazzi; rejected by landlords; and left with a mere $2.5 million. Here, Dear Ruth, is your road to redemption.

Salon's Cary Tennis is a clinically insane advice columnist. Lately he's been hearing from recent graduates whining about the job market (Remember the Harvard grad who couldn't hold a fast-food gig?) Today it's an ice cream-slingling J-school grad.

Do you have friends or family coming to visit this summer? Manhattan User's Guide has a list of 100 things that you can suggest they do when they're here so they stay out of your hair. [MUG]