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Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and the spending-time-with-family anxiety has likely already set in. What better way to take your mind off of the impending holiday drama—you know, Grandma pre-gaming at 9am with a handle of scotch, Uncle Bob's off-color jokes—than by looking into all the crazy Thanksgiving accoutrements you can pick up this Turkey Day? A few favorites after the jump.

Synthetic Wishbones
Perfect for: Families with vegetarians, PETA members, whiny kids
If you get grossed out by handling the bone from the turkey carcass, this plastic version is for you. Plus, nobody will have to fight for the coveted lone wishbone, and everybody can make a wish!

Crocheted Thanksgiving Dinners
Perfect for: DIY addicts and those trying to take the attention off of the food they've cooked
They're calorie-free and don't involve spending hours slaving away in the kitchen. (You may need to factor in the time to teach yourself to crochet, however.) The best part? The pattern is just $5!

Waistband Stretcher
Perfect for: Anyone who doesn't want to be held accountable for those three extra servings of pumpkin pie
No need for cheesy elastic waistbands or any extra trips to the gym. For $30, you can add from one to five inches to the girth of your pants. We'd like to recommend you use this before your gorge-fest for optimum comfort.

Tofurkey and Gravy Soda
Perfect for: Vegans and those with less-discerning palates
Billed as "soda you can chew on," Jones Soda created this drink "for veg-heads." The company notes that it is "best served with mashed potatoes and a couple of laughs." Hilarious!

Thanksgiving Sweaters
Perfect for: Diehard holiday enthusiasts who know it is just too early to wear a Christmas sweater
Sex up your look—and show off your pumpkins—in an expressive turkey and cornucopia-embroidered ensemble. HSN is already sold out, but you can always try your luck on eBay or at a mall.

Onion Goggles
Perfect for: Cooks with sensitive eyes and extra money to burn
This "stylish and comfortable" eyewear is a must-buy for the three minutes it takes to chop onions for the stuffing. They even come in a variety of colors to complement your Thanksgiving sweater (see above).

Vodka-Infused Turkey
Perfect for: People who'd rather eat out on November 26th—or who are just trying to forget the holiday ever happened
One New York City restaurant is serving up turkey with "an ounce of vodka in every bite." The owners recommend you pair the meal with vodka martinis, naturally, and thoughtfully remind you that "you'll need a cab home."

— Molly Fahner