Penis enlargers and egg cookers, that's who. Yesterday we tallied up the advertisers—including Geico and Proctor and Gamble—who have fled the unhinged crybaby's show. Today, we take a look at the cable-news dregs who remain.

Alain de Botton is a respected European writer who was ready to bite the arms off anyone standing in the way of his contract to spend a week sitting in an airport, writing a boring airport book. Writing careers suck.

Julia Allison has signed a yearlong deal to make commercials for Sony. Let there be no doubt: This is a major coup for the fame-hungry "lifecaster." There, we said it.

Thanks to the magic of advertising, we now know what The Simpsons would look like if they were Angolan. Huh. Angolans sell everything to buy big speakers, apparently. [Click to enlarge. Via Copyranter at AnimalNY]

Today, GMAC Financial Services confirmed that it's no longer advertising on Glenn Beck's show. How many advertisers have deserted him now? Let's tally them up:

Vogue's September issue has 36% fewer ad pages this year, almost exactly as predicted.

[via AllThingsD]

This Seattle Craigslist ad just says it all about Tucker Max's fan base, doesn't it? The lying, the hero worship, the stunted relationship with the opposite sex.

It's not officially launched, but Perez Hilton sporadically allowed access this morning to his new publication for discerning 26-year-old women. Intended to class up the internet cockroach's image, the new site looks like it will just dilute his sleazy reputation.

Do you buy the cover story about the New York Times firing heroic famous person Ben Stein over a "conflict of interest?" You are so naive. This was a preemptive hit, to protect Barack Obama, our dictator.

Why not make your realtor a shirtless globe-holding Gay Chicago Realtor? [via Real-ad-tors. Previously: More of America's best realtor ads.]

Billy Mays died from heart disease, but final autopsy reports cite cocaine was a contributing factor in the TV ad-man's death, AP reports.

Padma Lakshmi announced in January that she was branching out with a "food-inspired" jewelry line. The items went on sale at stores like Bergdorf this past spring, and they've been selling briskly, according to WWD. So now it's time to expand, apparently. An ad campaign for the collection kicks off this fall, one that, per usual, plays to Padma's passion for not wearing clothes unless it's absolutely necessary: "The photos show a glistening, nude Lakshmi draped in her delicate gold and gemstone spices, which take inspiration from foods such as lentils and cardamom pods." [WWD]

Wrigley had the bright idea to pay Chris "Bubblegum" Brown to put out a pop song that was actually a Wrigley commercial—but without telling anyone it was a Wrigley commercial. The public ate it up! It went huge on pop charts! Proving that people who drive chart sales have no taste, and Wrigley has no ethics.

After Glenn Beck called the president a racist Nazi, some of his advertisers decided that bottomless white rage is off-brand: Lawyers.com, Procter & Gamble and Progressive Insurance ads no longer appear during his show.

Ben Stein's TV ads for a scuzzy "free" credit product have finally caught up to him: The New York Times has fired Stein as a Sunday business columnist for violating ethics guidelines.

What if our corporate overlords could measure precisely how one single city block—yours—would respond to their advertisements for Pringles™ brand astronaut potatoes, to offer a delicious example? They would use this power for racism, obvs.