An automatically served (we presume) ad alongside "Superdome: Haven Quickly Becomes an Ordeal":

Contrary to popular belief, a 95-pounds-and-shrinking starlet really does understand the denim needs of plus size women. Next up in brand expansion: The Jessica Simpson LSAT prep course.

• Some hot Laguna Beach gossip for you kids: At a VMA after-party in Miami, Jason was seen holding hands and locking face with LC. And if you've no idea what this means, you're so much better than us. Really.
• Our congratulations to urban redneck Steve Cuozzo, whose contempt for the Pakistani Pride festivities is admirably unrivaled for its sheer racism. [NYP]
• If Target buys online wedding planning service TheKnot.com, does this mean we'll never have to deal with another Tiffany's registry? Please, oh please. [BW]
• Some women will go just too damn far to be on Oprah. Rest assured, their children are ashamed. [Oprah]
• It's not murder, but something just as sinister: A gay catfight over litterbox duty. [Towleroad]

Porn king Ron Jeremy will be in PETA's next ad campaign, flacking for "National Spay and Neuter" Week. In which case: Isn't that tagline completely nonsensical? The campaign isn't trying to stop sex; it's trying to make sex consequence-free. (Oy. Now we're sounding disconcertingly Republican.)

We know the Army has been missing its recruitment quotas. But, still, we somehow how think this ad (spotted by a tipster on Friendster) is going after the wrong demographic.

Well, yes, the new Vogue is big. And it really weighs 4 pounds. But, er, it doesn't actually put last year's to shame.

Weekend at Bernie's 3: Back to NY

Weighing in at a hefty 4.0 lbs and with almost 691 pages of adverwhoring, this year's September Vogue has just made you its bitch. And frankly, in terms of the always-important weight issue, this beast makes the 2004 edition look like a total pussy.

• Judy Miller is "having the time of her life," says hubby Jason Epstein, and so is he, it would seem. [WWD]
• Also, Miller appreciates your letters but doesn't want your used books. [Media Mob/NYO]
• Coming in your Times Mag: soldier sex in Iraq. Hot. [E&P]
• From the home office in Melville, Long Island: Top ten reasons we'll always have network anchors. [Newsday]
• More bad news for newspapers: First Craig steals the classifieds, now Hollywood's giving up on splashy movie ads, according to Nikki Finke. [LA Weekly]

The Times introduces a bold new advertising initiative, clearly designed to lure the urban community into purchasing single archives at $3.95 a pop.

We have no idea why Comcast chose this image to advertise a deal on its high-speed Internet service, but we've never been so glad to be Time Warner subscribers.

• MPA finally decides which editors will get the privilege of bantering with Jon Stewart: VF's Graydon Carter, Time's Jim Kelly, Cosmo's Kate White, and Men's Health's Dave Zinczenko. "Here's hoping he's a Men's Health fan," says Zinczenko. Oh yeah, we're sure he is. [WWD, second item]
• The special prosecutor might try to keep Judy Miller in jail for even longer. Which means only one thing: More Mediterranean cruises for husband Jason Epstein! [E&P]
• Now Roger Ailes is in charge of Fox's TV stations, too. They'll be even fairer and balanceder. [NYT]
• Effective yesterday, it's World News Tonight, not World News Tonight With Peter Jennings. [USAT]
• In the all-Target New Yorker, the discount chain comes off as like Kim Jong Il. Or something like that. [Design Observer]

Are you confused about who will be filling Jane Pratt's shoes at her eponymous Fairchild Publications magazine? Then pick up a print copy of Fairchild's Women's Wear Daily, which today features a a whopping six full-page ads introducing the already-introduced new editor, Brandon Holley.

• Back from imaginary Thanksgiving with the Murdochs, Simon Dumenco is drafting imaginary decency memos at the FCC. [Ad Age]
• Hey guess what? The kids like the cable networks' late-night fare, like Jon Stewart and Family Guy. And advertisers like to go where the viewers are. [LAT]
• The Bancroft family controls Dow Jones & Co., which publishes The Wall Street Journal. But the way they've been selling their stock, the family might not for much longer. [NYP]
• The newest New Yorker writer: Former WP managing editor Steve Coll. [NYT]
• Thanks to the new Wallpaper*, you can peek inside Rupert Murdoch's fridge. [WWD]
• David Carr remakes that Observer classic, "When Rupert met Hillary..." [NYT]
• Dan Rather liked Peter Jennings, too. [NY Mag]
• For foreign-policy types, sexy pictures in the new Playboy. [Media Mob/NYO]

For entirely selfish reasons, we're always happy to see more advertising moving to websites generally and to blogs specifically. (You may have heard, advertisers: Blog readers are young, rich, and sexy.)

• Target to be sole advertiser in Aug. 22 issue of The New Yorker. For that week, definitely, it's Targ . [NYT]
• American Media, publisher of Star and National Enquirer, won't pay sources, like rival OK! They'll only pay women with sex-harassment charges against Schwarzenegger. [LAT
• If big-city life in high school with money, then Jason Binn publishes the yearbooks, says Sexy Jon Fine, who notes that he's been in those yearbooks twice. [BusinessWeek]
• Magazine Publishers Association to distribute kits on "Magazine Speak" to help ad salesmen sell. How knowing what "dek," "TK," and "FOB" mean will help sell ads is beyond us, but, then, we're not ad salesmen. [Folio:]
• As we speak, MSNBC chief Rick Kaplan is ordering a window washer killed. [Jossip]

• Congrats, all you motivated go-getters behind the CBGB cause du jour: A judge rules that the landmark club can't be evicted. Thank you, Baby Jesus! [CNN]
• Starbucks really hasn't mastered proper placement for the advertising. But you don't care, you've been jonesing for some Frappy since you started reading this item. [Copyranter]
• Oh, what we would've paid to see The Donald back in the days when he was stuck running his father's rental office. [The Brandon Show]
• Lest you think gossiping is in the least way disrespectable, we'll have you know that we're taking part in a grand ancient tradition. [Discovery]
• Yeah, we hate the smell of Chinatown in the summer, too. And what's up with the spitting? [Black Table]
• Yes, some media outlets really are so dumb as to fall for urban legends. [LaShawn Barber]
• Sometimes, the jokes are too easy, even by our standards. We'll just point this one out and, well, do with it what you will. [SF Weekly]

Dude, the Naked Cowboy must be pissed.

The above advertisements are posted on opposing sides of a single Chelsea phone booth. The proximity of two conflicting messages has us wondering about the mutual exclusivity of these stereotypes. Can one exist without the other?

On the other hand, some people like 'em with big heads.