Zack Snyder's film adaptation of the acclaimed graphic novel Watchmen has certainly undergone some legal bumps in its journey to the big screen, but ever since the release of the film's teaser trailer, fans have consoled themselves with one silver lining: the movie looks like a frame-by-frame recreation of Alan Moore's original work (albeit with more of Snyder's signature, 300-honed slow-mo). So, imagine our surprise as word leaked out from a super-secret Watchmen test screening that Snyder had incurred fanboy death threats by changing Moore's iconic ending! Spoilers below, natch:

King Leonidas, aka Gerard Butler, appeared to be more enthralled by the women of New York City in their summer clothes than the latest and hottest script from Hollywood. Butler said, "I'm sorry, but that girl in the sun dress and that girl with the rolled up Juicy sweatpants that are way more compelling than William Monahan's stab at a romantic comedy." Butler pulled out another script from his messenger bag, but once again became distracted when a group of women exited a nearby Crunch. Butler threw the script back into his bag and promptly left the restaurant. Butler muttered under his breath, "Where does a man have to go to get some reading done in peace? The library? That place smells and it's full of nerds!"

It's funny — we were just talking to someone last week about the slow decline of Lawrence Kasdan, who wrote and/or directed some of the '80s best films of their respective genres, including The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Body Heat, Silverado and The Big Chill. Little did we know how desperately he seems to regret not having a piece of the cult 1981 sword-and-sandals classic Clash of the Titans, a Kasdan-written, Louis Leterrier-directed remake of which is now on the way from Warner Bros.

As you impatiently listen to the clock tick off the seconds until your Thanksgiving holiday, distract yourself from your daydreams of stuffing and candied yams with a look at the weekend's box office numbers:

[I]t's clear that they've been studying the ad campaign for "300" very carefully. Among many stylistic and clear similarities between each films' trailers, here are a few highlights:

· Yet more stars sign on to JJ Abrams's much-ballyhooed Star Trek: Early 30s project, including Hot Fuzz's Simon Pegg as Scotty, and John "What? He's Korean? Enh, Close Enough" Cho as Sulu. [Variety, THR]
· CBS signed musical-adapting superduo Craig Zadan and Neil Meron to a three movie deal, meaning at long last Jennifer Love Hewitt in Hello, Dolly! is no longer just a pipe dream. [Variety]
· Director Zack Snyder is reteaming with his 300 team for The Last Photograph, about "a photograph that becomes the catalyst for a journey two abs-licious men undertake through war-torn Afghanistan, upon which they meet a really gay bald guy with a jangly nose-ring." We're there! [Variety]
· Will Smith's Overbrook Entertainment is making a "major push" into TV, including Hitch the sitcom, based on the movie of the same name we'd sooner apply a Braun hand-blender to our privates than see. [THR]
· Is Will Ferrell video hub FunnyorDie.com "coasting on the fumes of Landlord?" If so, they may wanna consider giving Pearl a bigger trailer and a piece of the viral backend. [THR]

A Worth1000 Photoshop contest fielding posters for movies one letter off from their original titles turned up a surprisingly hilarious bounty of entries. Frustrated at having to single out just a few for special recognition, we eventually settled on the three above—000's abandoned CGI cliff bereft of even a single tumbling Persian, The Lives of Otters's voyeuristic glimpse into the world of marine mammals inhabiting a Cold War-era German zoo, and the mob/FBI game of trou-dropping cat-and-mouse known as The Depanted—but strongly suggest you peruse the entries yourself, lest you miss out on the one-sheet touting Marty McFly's adventure back to 18th century Germany to ensure nothing interferes with the composition of the Brandenburg concerti. Sure, they are good for a laugh, but don't be surprised if this "change one letter" approach doesn't soon overtake sequels and remakes as the preferred studio method of revisiting previously proven material.

As a deflated Harvey Weinstein mounts his box office jalopy on cinderblocks, considering how to most quickly rebuild it into a smooth-running, crash-resistant machine, he might want to take a cue from another recent hyperviolent release that has achieved blockbuster status. Using 300's unlikely success as a case study, as well as several other recent head-scratchers that managed to turn the usual Hollywood cowpies into gold, BusinessWeek bravely throws the old "there aren't any rules" Hollywood myth out the window, and attempts to draw some quantifiable conclusions from America's seemingly bottomless lust for depilated pecs and bullet-time blood spurts:

We at Defamer realize that the moviegoing experience can sometimes be so exhilarating that the mere act of watching passively without injecting oneself into the proceedings can feel frustrating and unfulfilling. What sets apart this audience member's response to the exposed manflesh orgy that is 300 isn't so much the fact that the film conjured up detailed multi-partner sexual scenarios, but that he was willing to take the proactive step of posting a Craigslist ad that might actually help him actualize his Spartan bukkake fantasies:

· It's funny because it's true: no balls in this town get licked without the all-important conference call.
· Had enough of the 300 parodies yet? Yeah, neither have we.
· TMNT packs all of the pizza-chomping thrills of a Leni Riefenstahl film.
· While Batman is off taking a toke break, the Joker is is busy plotting his boner-related revenge.
· We swear, we were only kidding about Zsa Zsa Gabor's batshit husband getting back in to the Dannielynn Smith paternity sweepstakes.

• Black20 Trailer Park: 300 - PG Version [YouTube]

In the post-post Brokeback mash-up era, setting the trailer for a movie in which nearly every frame is filled with the CGI-enhanced six-packs of three-quarters-naked, glistening Greeks to "It's Raining Men" might be a little too easy. But in truth, a flick whose pivotal scene involves a proud King refusing an initiation to kneel down in supplication before a freshly waxed, liberally pierced god-warrior draped in spangly chains (who, it should be noted, travels the countryside in a mobile Vegas hotel shuttled to and fro by strong-backed rentboys) by defiantly shrugging off a seductive shoulder rub and reciting the lyrics to "I Will Survive" is kind of asking for it.

As you grab your head, trying to fight back the waves of nausea still lingering after Saturday's debauchery long enough to remember where you buried that leprechaun's body—hey, he looked like a leprechaun after that tenth whiskey—take a few moments to review the weekend box office numbers. They'll fix you right up. They always do.