The Republican leader of one of Florida's most populous urban centers was asked this week why his party was faring so poorly among voters in the area. His answer was that government-loving "semi-socialist" Puerto Ricans are moving in and changing things for the worse.

If Pennsylvania still had a poet laureate, it would be Duane Sedlock, the "Outdoorsman" columnist for the Allentown, PA Examiner.com site—a man unafraid to denounce the "low-income" "Orientals" who are destroying the ambiance of PA's historic casinos.

"Will Everyone Have Sex With Paul Rudd for $1?": An Experiment by Billy Eichner

The cuckolded husband of the staffer caught on surveillance video snogging with Rep. Vance McAllister (R-La.) says he's leaving his wife, and the congressman is a dirtbag. "If people really knew him, he wouldn't be elected," the husband told Inside Edition. "This religious family man deal—this is completely false."

How did the American banking industry escape the crash of 2008 with so few scrapes and bruises, let alone so little jail time? It's easy to blame a general lack of regulation—but smarter to point the finger at the regulatory Securities and Exchange Commission itself. Last week one retiring SEC attorney, 66-year-old James Kidney, went out on a limb and agreed:

This video of a Dutch reporter doing a relaxed lean right off of a dock (and the mayor she's interviewing haplessly trying to pull her out of the water with his fancy mayor-necklace) is a blooper so perfect it has to be fake.

Earlier this year, a Ukrainian collective of daredevils called Mustang-Wanted published a terrifying video of them climbing—and hanging from—various tall buildings and objects. This week, the group posted a new video that's more nerve-racking than the first.

Taco Bell's latest marketing strategy is convincing consumers that Egg McMuffins represent the past, whereas "Waffle Tacos" represent the future. I suppose that's plausible.

Over the past weekend, a P.R. firm called The Social Co. hosted a group of fashion journalists and bloggers for a gratis getaway at the Maidstone, an East Hampton hotel where mid-priced rooms go for $845 per night. Among the attendees was David Yi, a staff reporter at Condé Nast’s Women’s Wear Daily, who meticulously Instagrammed the entire weekend with the The Social Co.’s preferred hashtag, #MaidstoneVoyage. Now Yi’s employer is scrutinizing his attendance for a potential ethics breach.

A Florida woman wearing nothing but a thong rampaged through a St. Petersburg McDonald's Monday, banging her head on the counter and then attempting to take apart the kitchen with her bare hands. Eventually, she chilled out by eating soft-serve straight out of the machine.

Kate Mulgrew, best known as Captain Kathryn Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager, is the narrator of a new and completely bonkers documentary pushing the theory that the universe is centered around the Earth. The Principle was announced in December, but a new trailer has reignited the "debate" over Geocentrism, along with worries that Mulgrew actually buys into it.

Well, Fox News almost made it through this year's NCAA basketball tournament without saying something sorta racist. This morning, Heather Childers of Fox & Friends First introduced highlights of the University of Connecticut's men's basketball championship victory by calling them the "NAACP national champs."

Gawker is pleased to present a new column from a dog, Gawker's most prolific columnist. In today's dispatch, a dog considers the banana and the Froot Loop: "No dog should eat those. There's no peanut butter inside."

Generally, rats in New York City run rampant on the subway tracks. Rarely do the rodents get inside the actual subway car, though that's just what happened on Monday morning.

A 9-month-old Pakistani baby accused of raiding a state-run gas company and plotting to murder police has gone into hiding following his first court appearance last week.

Irish President Michael D. Higgins inspects a Guard of Honour at Windsor Castle in southern England on Tuesday. The Irish President and his wife Sabina are embarking on a four-day State Visit to Britain, the first by an Irish head of state. Image via Neil Hall, Pool/AP.

The Wall Street Journal's news content is the equal of any newspaper in America. The Wall Street Journal's op-ed page is a den of right wing groupthink and delusion unsurpassed in its potential to embarrass the non-lunatics at the paper.

Last night, after Rep. Vance McAllister (R-La.) publicly apologized for snogging, on surveillance video, in his congressional office, a staffer who was not his wife, he received a text from a stranger: "Hey bro. How's your day goin." For some inexplicable reason, he replied—at length.

A new GQ interview with Ukranian model Valeriya Lukyanova attempts to reveal the human underneath the "human Barbie," but ends up uncovering a "racist space alien" instead. Lukyanova's comments about mixed-race people and declining beauty standards are pretty gross, even for a creepy living doll.

Though there are many fine people in the state of South Carolina, it is fairly uncontroversial to observe that the political class of South Carolina is the dumbest bunch of fucking hicks legally allowed to vote in the United States of America.