According to authorities and eyewitnesses, nine acrobats have been seriously injured in Providence, Rhode Island during a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus performance at the Dunkin' Donuts Center this afternoon. They were reportedly doing an aerial "hair hang" act when they fell. Warning: Graphic video.

Canadian police broke up a party in Ontario on Friday night that was thrown in a 17-year-old's parents' still-being-built home. 2,000 teens attended and caused an estimated $70,000 worth of damage. TEENS!

Scientists in China have been looking at the winning strategies behind a simple game of rock-paper-scissors. They've just discovered that you might be losing so much because of a deeply embedded human principle to "stay" if you're winning and "shift" if you're losing.

The AP reports that a man in Jonesboro, Arkansas shot six people in a home on Saturday, killing a man and a teenager and critically wounding two boys. He then fatally shot an employee at a nearby business.

In new studies performed by the Center for American Progress and the National Education Association, it has been discovered that while almost half of U.S. public school students are nonwhite, fewer than 20% of their teachers are minorities.

Andrew Garfield hosted a pretty strong episode of Saturday Night Live last night, with musical guest Coldplay and appearances from Emma Stone, Kiefer Sutherland, and Mary Lynn Rajskub. Throughout the night he kissed Chris Martin and played Oliver Twist to Cecily Strong's Dierdre, but the highlight came when he learned what happens when you disrespect our country's queen, Beyoncé.

HBO's near-perfect political comedy VEEP, which has Julia Louis-Dreyfus playing the crass and wily Vice President, made the promo video to end all promo videos this week by getting Joe Biden to take a tour of his D.C. with the actress. The result is spectacular.

At the star-studded annual White House Correspondents Dinner last night, Obama gave a little sass to everything from his own botched healthcare website to the RNC to his own current low ratings.

Police are searching for a man who used a pitchfork to rob a Waffle House in Norcross, Georgia. He would've gotten away unscathed, but he accidentally tripped and dropped the pitchfork while trying to run away. Whoops!

Seattle author Charles R. Cross, one of the foremost experts on Kurt Cobain, claims that Cobain didn't write the note found in his wallet that called Courtney Love a "siphon" and a "bitch with zits." He claims that Love wrote the note herself, saying, "The handwriting is absolutely Courtney's."

Months after Woody Allen's adopted daughter Dylan Farrow alleged that she was molested by the director when she was a child, Diane Keaton, frequent star of Allen films and friend of the director, has come out in defense of him.

The attorney general of Mexico announced that investigators have seized 44 tons of marijuana in Tijuana, right across the border from San Diego, Ca. Officials had a federal warrant to investigate the Familiares del Matamoros neighborhood, where they discovered the stash.

The owner of a gun shop in Rockville, MD will no longer authorize sale of a new technology of "smart guns" after receiving too many death threats. Andy Raymond was to be the first U.S. seller of the new technology at his store Engage Armament.

Text sent from today's Kentucky Derby and big hat parade in Louisville, KY: "omg Scarlett-Leigh, my hat is going over so well @ the derbs." Photo via David Goldman/AP

Yesterday, we read Gabourey Sidibe's incredible speech on confidence and feminism from Thursday night's Gloria Awards and Gala, which was hosted by the Ms. Foundation for Women. A transcript of Amy Schumer's speech from the same event has since been released, detailing confidence and body-image issues, and struggling to see yourself the way you deserve to be seen. (Plus, finding a love of Sam Cooke.) It is well worth a read.

In what is the softest beef of all time, rapper Drake called out Jay Z for liking fondue. Jay Z responded by telling everyone Drake was as soft as lacrosse, a full-contact sport. Now the Jay Z-affiliated Brooklyn Nets put the lint-rolling rapper in a little dressup jersey on the Jumbotron at the Raptors-Nets game last night.

I'm walking home after I fucked this guy who writes self-loathing poetry and has Yellow Fever, which is ridiculous because nobody walks in LA. Home is currently in Silver Lake, a neighborhood where there's a lot of new job openings for a position called Being Pretty and Prancing Around the Sidewalk. I make the walk halfway in my heels down Sunset Boulevard, in a dress that's debatably a shirt, and decide to haul-ass barefoot down the burning cement sidewalk. It might not be super-mentally healthy for me to be shapely, brown, average height, and live among tall, anorexic blondes so I can stare at them. But even if I don't fit in, I like being part of it. Sometimes I look around and it seems as if the Holocaust were successful or something.

Avril Lavigne fans had the pleasure of meeting the "Hello Kitty" singer at a meet and greet after her recent performance in Brazil, during which they were instructed by security guards not to touch or hug her.

Actor Efrem Zimbalist Jr., star of "77 Sunset Strip" and "The F.B.I.", died in his home in Solvang, California today. His son reported that the actor had been "outside watering his lawn when a handyman found him lying in the grass." He was 95.