Frank Bruni, a bad newspaper columnist who is nevertheless employed as a columnist by America's most prominent newspaper, is obligated to write two columns per week. He has approximately zero good ideas per week. This is what causes things like Sunday's column to happen.

Fox News reportedly used random b-roll video of sad Asians from other places as stand-ins for actual Koreans during a segment on the Korean ferry disaster. In fairness, lots of stations use b-roll that's unrelated to the story at hand. Few do it in such a racially and ethnically tone-deaf way.

There's only one Republican candidate running for Senate in Iowa who has Sarah Palin's endorsement, and also loves to cut the testicles off of squealing pigs with her own two hands. But that doesn't seem like enough for you America, so fine, here she is shooting stuff and wearing chaps.

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Kim Kardashian, who reportedly married in a secret Los Angeles ceremony over the weekend. Their reality TV wedding will take place later this month in France.

The news did not get better from Nigeria over the weekend, not for the kidnapped girls or the general populace either.

Pro-Russian activists bring captured fire service employees to the regional administration building in Donetsk, Ukraine, on Monday. They have for a few weeks been seizing and ransacking government buildings across eastern Ukraine amid a mounting anti-government insurgency. Image via Evgeniy Maloletka/AP.

The economy created 78,000 more jobs than expected last month, and the unemployment level is down to 6.3 percent! Naturally, job-creators reacted by panicking over their future profits and fueling a stock selloff this morning.

Living well is the best revenge, but feeding your enemies semen-filled cupcakes is a close second.

Nearly five months after suffering a huge data breach, Target announced Monday morning that Gregg Steinhafel, the company's CEO since 2008, had resigned.

In a video obtained by the AFP, Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau admitted to kidnapping more than 200 girls from a school in northeastern Nigeria last month. "I abducted your girls" he said. "I will sell them in the market, by Allah. There is a market for selling humans."

Maybe-maybe-not-teenager Lorde went public on Twitter Sunday night, posting the name and picture of the photographer she says has been stalking her.

A British man filed new allegations against director Bryan Singer and Broadway producer Gary Goddard, claiming the pair drugged and sexually assaulted him when he was a teenager.

It takes a lot of confidence to perform the awkward dance routine from Napoleon Dynamite. This guy did it 100 times.

Los Angeles International Airport shut down for several hours last week because a spy plane on a secret mission fried the airport's air traffic control center.

According to a trio of new studies released today, we may only be as old as our blood.

Sen. Charles Schumer asked the Food and Drug Administration today to step in and prevent a powdered alcohol, "Palcohol," from going to market, saying it could potentially become "the Kool-Aid of teenage binge drinking." A sad day for teens, indeed.

It may have only climbed to 60ºF today in Bristol, England today, but that didn't stop hundreds of revelers from coming out to see the installation of a 300-foot-long waterslide in the center of their town. 360 lottery winners got the chance to use the slide and dream of summer.

A naked man who was reportedly running in traffic at 4am near Portsmouth Ave. in Portland, Ore., and had stopped in the middle of the road to do some pushups, was struck and killed by an oncoming vehicle. While police were being alerted of his running in traffic, a caller followed up to say he'd been hit.

Oh good, another thing to fill our nightmares! A rare "goblin shark" was caught by Georgia fisherman Captain Carl Moore about 10 miles off the coast of Key West in April. The last recorded sighting of this species of deep-sea nightmare shark was in 2000.

After PepsiCo announced the decision to remove brominated vegetable oil from their line of Gatorade sports drinks last year, Coca-Cola has revealed that they will do the same for their line of Powerade drinks. BVO is a patented flame retardant.