Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), the pride of Nacogdoches, tells a liberal Christian pastor that the pastor is not really a Christian. In the middle of a televised hearing. Because Louie Gohmert knows things.

Coca-Cola's Minute Maid label sells a product it calls "Pomegranate Blueberry" juice that contains 0.3% pomegranate juice and 0.2% blueberry juice. Today the Supreme Court ruled that yup, yessiree, a competitor like POM Wonderful can sue for deceptive labeling of said product.

We often make it a point to mock the very worst public relations people and pitches that we see, on the principle that mocking PR is an honorable and useful activity. But are we all being too hard on the poor PR peons themselves?

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor stunningly lost his primary to Tea Party challenger and Ayn Rand scholar Dave Brat on Tuesday. So lesser Republicans of the House have wasted no time in puffing themselves up to be the next Cantor (yeesh), and current Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy says he's got it in the bag.

On Monday, TMZ posted the above video taken by a bystander just moments after a semi hit a limo carrying Tracy Morgan and friends. In the clip, we see other motorists milling about before comedian Ardie Fuqua is pulled from the wreckage. Last night, Louis CK—an anti-censorship crusader—took to Twitter to implore TMZ to take the video down.

In retaliation for the last week's attack on Jinnah airport in Karachi, Pakistan, U.S. drones fired missiles at Taliban encampments in the country, killing at least 13 militants.

Not every scene from George R.R. Martin's immense A Song of Ice and Fire series can be filmed for Game of Thrones. Something has to be cut, even if it's something Martin himself really likes.

Kanye West's wife and sister-in-law uploaded new snapshots from the Kardashian-West Golden Toilet Ball to Instagram Wednesday, and not since the episode where Kim lost her earring in the ocean have so many Kardashians looked so unhappy in the same place.

According to a Bushwick resident, "Bees from Roberta's rooftop hives are escaping and terrorizing [the] street nightly."

Blow-dried idiot and Texas Governor Rick "See My Glasses?" Perry has done some thinking, about these homos. Rick Perry is now prepared to answer your homosexual questions, in a hilariously poor fashion.

Tough day? Long commute to work this morning? At least you're not one of the 18 maniacs currently rowing the 2,400 miles from Monterey, California to Honolulu, Hawaii.

Iraq moved closer to a full-out sectarian conflict Thursday morning when Kurdish forces took over the oil-rich city of Kirkuk, adding to the mass confusion since Al-Qaeda influenced insurgents began seizing Iraqi cities this week. The U.S. has refused to intervene at this point.

Tanishq Abraham, a 10-year-old prodigy who was admitted to Mensa at age four and is better than you, graduated from high school this past weekend with a 4.0 GPA. "It wasn't, like, easy, but it was not that hard either," he told KXTV.

Bill Murray, renowned Ghostbuster and funny guy who just kind of shows up and says shit to the delight of everyone around him, decided he'd be cool with being in Erik Rogers and Ashley Donald's engagement photos. They're quite the trio.

The Bhut Jolokia, or "ghost pepper" was, for a time, the hottest pepper on the planet, as certified by the Guinness Book of World Records. It is definitely hotter than Tabasco sauce. One thousand people in Copenhagen downed one simultaneously as part of a spicy stunt put on by pepper enthusiast Claus Pilgaard. There were tears.

Alonzo Liverman, 29, was arrested by Daytona Beach police this week in a prostitution sting. According to police, he tried to trade a salad for a blowjob with a prostitute that was actually an undercover cop.

Tinder, the dating app that has shrewdly transposed "hot or not" into a gratifying thumb swipe experience, has also apparently inspired a "Joshua" to text 32 of his matches at once. Apparently, Joshua does not have time to be courting these women one at a time or text them individually.

A 7,000-square-foot house overlooking Texas' Lake Whitney had to be abandoned by its owners after its foundation began to crumble off, taking a chunk of the house with it as it fell 75 feet and into the water. The couple that owns the house was forced to move out two weeks ago, after it had been condemned.

Emily Brontë: literary legend. Also, savage dog abuser.