The National Security Agency's collection of foreigners' internet communication (which often also includes Americans' correspondence) has been approved as "legal and effective in protecting national security" by an independent privacy board in a new report. The same panel condemned the NSA's collection of Americans' phone metadata earlier this year.

Heads up: Tina Fey is not (I repeat: not) producing or hypothetically starring in a sequel to Hocus Pocus, the 1993 movie where Bette Midler and Carrie Bradshaw are witches. But she is doing something witchy for Disney. Everyone (anyone?) concerned about Tina Fey's witchcraft-related projects can now calmly take a seat.

Do you like Hooters but find it too disarming? Try Shooters, the Rifle, Colorado, bar and grill where every waitress is strapped with a six-gun. "People can come in carrying their gun, and they can pray over their food," the owner says, adding that the joint has "guns and Jesus all over the place."

Two tour buses belonging to the bands Foreigner and Styx caught fire Wednesday in a Philadelphia parking lot in an urgent, urgent emergency that threatened to engulf the entirety of the years 1977 to 1984.

"I clearly miscalculated how popular it would be to show Calvin urinating on a Ford logo," Bill Watterson is rumored to have told his publisher. Indeed. But what of the mythical history of this meme? Finally, someone has a few answers.

It's a prank as old as time (or at least as old as 2012): Some chucklehead calls up a pizza chain, places an order, and then conferences in another location of the same chain. When the first one repeats the order back to the second, confusion ensues. Who ordered what? When does this shift end? How much weed can I buy with whatever's in the tip jar? Wait, am I stoned right now? It's all a mystery.

P.O.V. stands for point of view. P.O.V. stands for penis (I have one) or vagina (Hillary Crosley of Jezebel, to pick a not at all random example, has one of those). P.O.V. stands for pork or veal, but this column is not about food or getting mad about animals confined to living short lives in boxes. It's about music.

Well, hiring a Japanese T&A anime guru didn't fix Rick Santorum's movie studio, but maybe this film will give it a shot in the arm. One Generation Away: The Erosion Of Religious Liberty. Coming to a concerned grandmother's VHS near you on September 1!

Melissa McCarthy's titular Tammy character is dumb and fat. We watch her suffer various indignities related to these conditions for just about the entire running time of Tammy. The movie starts out brutally: We open on Tammy driving a car that's at least 20 years old, blasting the Outfield's "Your Love" from a boombox on the passenger seat. There is trash strewn about in the backseat. She hits a deer, which survives but leaves her car now shitty and smoking. She arrives to her job at a fast food restaurant filthy and gets fired for looking disgusting. On her way out, she pockets cheeseburgers for "overtime due." She arrives home early to find her husband Greg (Nat Faxon) cheating on her with a thinner woman (played by a mute Toni Collette). She decides to leave him, but her suitcase breaks on her way out of the house. So she carries her balled up clothes to her parents' house, where her mother (Allison Janney) mentions that this sort of crisis is something that happens a lot to Tammy. Also during this conversation, it is revealed that Tammy doesn't know the definitions of "pattern" (she thinks things in patterns only come in twos) and "galaxy" (which she thinks is a repeating series of events—a pattern).

Rob Ford, Toronto's newly rehabilitated mayor, told Canadian news broadcasters CP24 and Canadian Broadcasting Corp. that he has "used every drug you can probably think of." Except for heroin.

A couple of months ago, it became a Thing to yell "fuck her right in the pussy" while being interviewed on a live newscast. The problem (besides the obvious) was that no one had actually done it. Every one of the several viral videos featuring the phrase had been faked by a jokester named John Cain.

Gun rights activists have been bringing their guns to Target stores in Texas for months, sometimes with children in tow. Today, Target "respectfully" asked these customers to cut it out.

"The percentage of Americans who snack three or more times a day rose to 56% by 2010, according to the latest available government data. That is up from roughly 20% in the 1990s and 10% in the late 1970s." We love snacks!!

BREAKING: If you conduct a poll made up of 73 percent whites, 61 percent Midwesterners and Southerners, 66 percent non-college grads, 69 percent non-Democrats and 56 percent land-line users, you can get a Politico headline proclaiming Obama the worst president since World War II.

Virginia State Delegate Joe Morrissey was recently charged with four felonies related to a sexual relationship he allegedly carried on with a 17-year-old receptionist at his law office. In a live televised press conference yesterday meant to deflect the accusations, Morrissey said: "OMG, I just fucked my boss."

The homeless have it hard lately, what with all the anti-homeless measures municipalities have implemented to keep them off benches and sculptures and sidewalks. Except in Vancouver, where one charity is building "pop-up" shelters that invite the weary in.

An Ohio mom lost her waitressing job after she used Facebook to blow off some steam about a busy night full of bad tippers, not realizing she was fake Internet friends with one of the cheapskates in question.

Vice Media is the tech bubble. Vice Media is not as cool as you think. Vice Media is about to get very, very rich. But what is Vice, above all? Vice is Williamsburg.

Nicki Minaj has taken to Twitter to explain her side of her Best Female Hip Hop Artist acceptance speech from Sunday's BET Awards...or something. In case you need reminding, she seemed to be referring to her fellow nominee Iggy Azalea, when she said, "What I want the world to know about Nicki Minaj is when you hear Nicki Minaj spit, Nicki Minaj wrote it." And then, just in case that didn't sound shady enough (Iggy is said to rely on ghostwriters), Minaj said, "No shade," repeatedly while posing and grinning.

The founder of a homeschooling empire championed by reality TV's Duggar family and Sarah Palin, Bill Gothard resigned earlier this year amid accusations that he molested dozens of women. No one, he says, was more instrumental to his now-controversial ministry than the family behind Hobby Lobby.