When the corporate economy is booming as it is now, mergers and acquisitions happen. Industries consolidate. The cable industry is consolidating. The media industry is consolidating. And now, even the poor people industry is consolidating.

George R.R. Martin claims he hasn't seen the episodes of South Park he appeared in last winter, but he's heard his character is "obsessed about weenies," and he wants to make one thing very clear: Weenies are fine, but it's boobies he's truly obsessed with.

This month, an oil refinery on the Delaware River sought approval from state officials and Army engineers to reinforce its facilities. Why? Because the earth is warming, storms are churning, and the sea level's already high enough to endanger the oil company's business.

For an unbelievable five weeks starting last Friday, New York City's G Train, the only direct subway route between Brooklyn and Queens, will not run between the two boroughs. How will you cope?

Much like Facebook, dating site OkCupid has been conducting secret social experiments on its users—not to influence their moods, but sometimes to influence their opinions of one another. In the latest post on OkCupid's data-driven chronicle of man's inhumanity to man, the OkTrends Blog, we learn that your picture is all that matters and you'll like whomever a fair-to-middling cupid tells you to like.

"I beg you, stop. I ask you with all my heart," Pope Francis beseeched humanity about its incessant strife today, the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the First World War. "Everything is lost with war, nothing is lost with peace." And Israel and Gaza and Russia and Ukraine were all "Ehhhhh FUCK that guy."

New Hampshire police say they've arrested Nathaniel E. Kibby, 34, for kidnapping 15-year-old Abby Hernandez. According to WCAX, the arrest was made "without incident" at his New Hampshire home. Hernandez was returned to her family last Sunday.

A fugitive killed in a shooting involving U.S. marshals and police in the West Village today was wanted for child molestation. He was profiled just last week on CNN's "The Hunt," the show where John Walsh tries to catch suspected criminals. Charles Mozdir, 32, had been on the run since 2012.

A red-tailed hawk, described as "elusive" in the caption of the above YouTube clip, was caught on camera Monday afternoon attempting to ingest a live mouse while onlookers watched in awe and reverence.

Health officials in Florida today issued new warnings about high levels of a flesh-eating bacterium in the ocean and other recreational waters in the state. The state says that bacterium, Vibrio vulnificus, causes ulceration and rapid skin decay and is fatal in about 50 percent of people who get it in their bloodstreams.

The warden of Louisiana's Angola prison says he is prepared to release inmate Kenny "Zulu" Whitmore from solitary confinement "When I can conclude he's not going to cause me the blues." Whitmore, a Black Panther, has been in solitary for a total of 35 years.

You'd think that the U.S. military's collection of potentially world-ending intercontinental ballistic missiles would be protected with an appropriately serious level of security, but, as John Oliver pointed out on Last Week Tonight Sunday, we haven't exactly had our top men on the job.

An open-carry group too crazy for Open Carry Texas has been walking around flapping its guns. A group of women who opposes their display of weapons struck on a novel way to perturb the gun-fondlers: Follow them around topless.

The NYPD, seemingly determined to double down on violence against black people after the post-chokehold death of Eric Garner, apparently used the banned tactic again on a seven-months-pregnant woman after she grilled on the sidewalk in front of her home this weekend.

"The cops were really great and nice about it — it was a little bit surreal," said Joel Soto, one of the tournament's organizers. Brian Hogan-Gary, the dunker, wore a shirt that read "RIP Eric Garner."

Several tipsters have alerted us to the occurrence of a "hipster" being "walked" by a man on a Segway in Williamsburg over the weekend.

The 4th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today 2-1 that Virginia's gay marriage ban is unconstitutional. Judge Paul Niemeyer, a Republican appointee, dissented.

Israel and Hamas blamed each other for an attack on a Gaza park today. When the park was hit, by either an Israeli missile or errant rocket fire from Hamas, children were playing on on a swing. At least 10 Palestinians were killed, including children. Forty-six were wounded.

As violence escalates in Libya, a rocket attack on Tripoli International Airport has set at least 1.5 million gallons of fuel aflame, with more than 23 million additional gallons in danger nearby.

In Slate today, David Grimm asks: How much money can we ethically spend to save our sick pets? An excellent question (for arguing)! Let's try to construct a rough list.