Jaden Smith's Twitter Comes Alive on Absurd Seven-Minute Song

Jordan Sargent · 09/30/14 12:24PM

16-year-old mystic Jaden Smith released a song on Soundcloud last night called "Blue Ocean" and, well, it's very Jaden Smith. Like, "Everybody knows I'm a ghost but I can still dream"-level Jaden Smith. The Jaden Smith alert level is definitely at red (the color of the pyramids on Mars).

Aretha Franklin Annihilated Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" on Letterman

Rich Juzwiak · 09/30/14 11:20AM

Audio of the purse-carrying gift from heaven Aretha Franklin's cover of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" (with a twist of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough") made the rounds on the internet yesterday. Later, she tore the roof off David Letterman's studio when she performed the medley on the Late Show (it's the first release off her upcoming Aretha Franklin Sings The Great Diva Classics album). While her voice has noticably aged and isn't quite as acrobatic as it once was, the woman can still wail. Her pipes remain among our country's greatest natural resources.

Michael Phelps Wins His Second Medal in DUI

Aleksander Chan · 09/30/14 11:10AM

Olympic swimming star Michael Phelps was pulled over by Maryland police early this morning and arrested on a DUI charge, TMZ reports. He was apparently stopped by officers around 1:40 a.m. in a white Range Rover, driving 84 in a 45 zone, and allegedly failed a field sobriety test with a BAC of almost twice the legal limit.

Jealous Principal Snakes Her Way into Teen's Amazing Laser Cat Photo

Aleksander Chan · 09/30/14 08:26AM

Schenectady High School teen hero Draven Rodriguez petitioned to have a highly stylized photo of himself and his cat, Mr. Bigglesworth, be included as his senior portrait in the school's yearbook. Instead, he took a second photo at the behest of the school principal that will run on her page and also include her dog, Vivienne.

Protesters Balk at Hong Kong Leader's Call to End Demonstrations

Aleksander Chan · 09/30/14 07:17AM

Hong Kong's Beijing-approved leader, Leung Chun-ying, has called for an end of the pro-democracy demonstrations being held in the semiautonomous city by tens of thousands of its citizens. He has taken specific aim at Occupy Central With Love and Peace, one of the two major organizing groups, saying, "Occupy Central founders had said repeatedly that if the movement is getting out of control, they would call for it to stop. I'm now asking them to fulfill the promise they made to society and stop this campaign immediately."