For a brief period in the 1970s and early '80s, the U.S. tried to switch over to the metric system, despite objections from real Americans that it was "Communist" or an "Arab plot." Metrication didn't get very far, but one highway remains: Arizona's Interstate 19.

Since 2006, "the wealthiest Americans are giving a smaller share of their income to charity, while poor and middle-income people are donating a larger share." The rich are doing a poor job making a case against taking all their shit.

If you were a trash person, you'd assume that women didn't like sports and that, as Men's Health Magazine indicates, we only follow them if there's "a story line." Your argument, if you were made of trash, would be that women can't understand statistics or they don't have attention spans long enough to sit through a game, or they'd rather be somewhere else—maybe the kitchen, constructing a towering snack stadium* for you with individual pretzel sticks to be dislodged by your garbage hands. If you were a trash person, you'd need this structure to stay intact in order for your boys club to prosper and for you to continue feeling protective of your world, where, if a women were granted access, all its small, carefully laid pieces might get disrupted. The Slim Jim goalpost would get picked apart in seconds, by hungry, ravenous fans. That goalpost, and the other one—well, those were saved for you, the trash person, to eat. You guard your snack stadium like a king watching his castle because hell, those moat alligators were expensive and they're keeping all your secrets safe, safe from the women who are already swimming there.

Comcast allegedly pulled strings to get one of their customers fired from his job at a prestigious accounting firm after he complained about billing issues and false charges. The former Comcast customer, identified only as "Conal," told his story to Consumerist, the site whose readers have named Comcast "the worst company in America" two years running.

Jesse Helt, the 22-year-old homeless man who accepted an award on Miley Cyrus' behalf at this year's Video Music Awards, was sentenced to six months in prison on Tuesday for violating terms of his probation in Oregon.

Following this morning's release of a secret audio recording of 7th Heaven star Stephen Collins reportedly admitting to having molested and exposed himself to multiple underage girls, TMZ reports the method at which Collins would allegedly confront a then-11-year-old girl in New York.

Women, you are our future. Never forget that. Did you think for a second that you weren't? Don't let the pressure get to you. Instead, turn to this phenomenally condescending screed in AdWeek from Nils Leonard, creative chief officer of the major advertising firm Grey London, for that much-needed pat on the back and reassurance that you will one day be "the perfect modern creative." It's about damn time, ladies, amirite.

1. Effeminate Men Drink Whiskey for the First Time

Gaskillionaire Warren Buffett said today that Hillary Clinton will win the 2016 presidential race, and that he'll "bet money on it." I'll take that bet, if someone can spot me a few bucks.

Editor's note: A few weeks ago, we were approached by a prolific Thought Catalog essayist who writes under the byline "Anne Gus." As it turned out, Anne is a young Swedish man whose real first name is Jakob (he wouldn't give out his last name).

An alleged mother-son meth-making team managed to alert law enforcement to their activities when they accidentally dialed 911 while preparing for a cook at their Florida home.

Walmart, America's largest employer, announced that it will stop providing health insurance for around 30,000 part time workers, in order to cut costs.

Yesterday, famous children's-book author J.K. Rowling offered a cryptic tweet:

Search "Sondra Price" on Facebook and you'll find a profile for the woman shown above. From the information that's publicly displayed, you'll learn a few things about her: She went to Watertown High School, she drives a BMW, her nickname is "Sosa," and judging by one picture, she might have young children.

A teacher at an English secondary school downloaded a teenage student's bikini photo from Facebook and displayed it at an assembly to teach students about the dangers of social networking. Dangers like, apparently, one of your teachers finding your photos and using them to embarrass you in front of 100 classmates.

What happens when you combine the editorial sensibility of Upworthy with the world's most powerful corporations and filter it all through Vice's ad agency? Collectively.org, a new site that will save the earth. Cynical? Stop being part of the problem.

University of Texas student Diwu Zhou says the Asian interest fraternity Lambda Phi Epsilon didn't give him a bid this fall because he's openly gay. In the wake of this allegation, LPhiE headquarters has suspended the chapter. Zhou says brothers asked him a "derogatory" question during the interview process.

At Sunday's American Horror Story: Freak Show premiere at the TCL Chinese Theater in Los Angeles, Lea Michele's eyes lit up like a piddling puppy as Jessica Lange walked in her direction. An old friend to say hello to, and perhaps be photographed with. So fun! And then, as Lange strode by without any acknowledgement, Michele turned into sad puppy who couldn't quite express her sadness because hundreds of pictures per second were being taken of her at this public event. So that was awkward.

Who is Joe Biden (other than the hardest-partying vice president in U.S. history, that is)? When a visit from the VP interfered with traffic near Jimmy Kimmel's studio, he sent a reporter out to Hollywood Boulevard to find out what Americans really know about this Biden character.

NYPD Officers Tyrane Isaac and David Afanador are under criminal investigation after allegedly beating and pistol-whipping an unarmed teen in Brooklyn, as seen in the brutal video below. Kahreem Tribble, 16, had his hands up at the time of the attack.