In Place Vendome, one of Paris's beautiful historic squares, next to a 19th-century column commemorating Napoleon's glory in the Battle of Austerlitz, sits a 24-foot inflatable butt plug. Despite the city's reputation as haven for cosmopolitan artsy types, some Parisians aren't having it.

The Boston Marathon bombing had the mysterious man on the roof. Sandy Hook had multiple shooters. 9/11 had...actually, nevermind. And yesterday, the Great Ebola Panic of 2014 debuted its own mysterious man photographed from a distance: Clipboard guy, who was spotted on the Tarmac without a hazmat suit when Ebola patient Amber Vinson was transported into an airplane.

Yesterday, we brought you the story of Sean Johnson, a 19-year-old Floridian who was caught taking a stuffed horse off of a shelf at Walmart, masturbating with it in the bedding department, then returning it, covered in semen, to the shelf. Today, police released a photo of his equine paramour.

Alice Walton, an heir to the Walmart fortune, is worth $35 billion. Today, a lot of poor people stood outside her house and yelled at her.

Three schools in Texas and two in Ohio have opted to shut down to be disinfected after learning that their students or staff were either on the same Cleveland-to-Dallas flight or aircraft as Amber Joy Vinson, the nurse who tested positive for Ebola yesterday.

What's up with Brad Pitt these days? [Pop] [lock] [extended windmill] [exagerrated shrug], basically. At least that's what Pitt('s stunt double) told Jimmy Fallon('s stunt double) in their interview last night, which was conducted in the form of breakdancing.

Imagine: You recently meet someone and hit it off immediately. Before long, one date has become 10, and it hasn’t even been two weeks. This person is now first in line to all the other people you have loosely been dating or sexting or whatever it is you do with people you sort-of like. Time with them has usurped time on Tinder to the point where you now feel comfortable introducing them to friends.

Although violent animosity against women in video games is not even close to a new phenomenon, it didn't congeal into Gamergate, a coordinated movement with mainstream press attention, until Eron Gjoni, the ex-boyfriend of game developer Zoë Quinn, released a lengthy blog post alleging that she cheated on and emotionally abused him while they were together. And he would do it all again, even knowing the consequences.

"I like to use hair over dental floss," said Wisconsin resident Kia Cambridge on last night's Extreme Cheapskates. "I know it sounds gross, but this just works. It's a great system." Yup. As systems go, it's up there with Dewey Decimal and that Of a Down.

Cory D. Peterson, 45, of Bay City, Mich., was sentenced by a judge to two years probation Monday after pleading no contest to an indecent exposure charge from an incident in September where he exposed himself to female employees in the drive-thru of a McDonald's.

You ever have a friend who was obsessed with your life? Always tryin' to stay over your house and learn your family members' names, then speaking to and about them in a familial tone? Saying, of you and your partner, "Oh my God, I love you guys together. You're seriously like my favorite couple. I wish I were part of the couple. Haha, is that weird? Just kidding, obviously, I like you guys together. Do you ever feel like I am part of the couple?"

At his day job, John Overholt is the curator the Harvard library's collection of early modern books and manuscripts. On Tumblr, he does kind of the same thing, but with Wikipedia articles.

Dr. Nancy Snyderman—the NBC medical expert who was working in Liberia until a freelance cameraman working for her contracted Ebola—is currently under a mandatory quarantine after residents of Princeton, New Jersey recently witnessed her breaking a voluntary quarantine. At least one person wants to ensure Snyderman is caught if she leaves her house again, and he's put up effective wanted posters to make it known.

In 1994, a South Florida man who goes by the name Gelding was surgically castrated. In 2011, he had his penis removed as well. He's a "nullo": A cisgender man who removes his external genitalia completely as a form of body modification, and he recently agreed to answer our questions—from "why?" to "what do balls taste like?"

A high school student who got an F in chemistry after she was accused of cheating on a test is suing the school district in an effort to reverse the punishment.

We all like J.Crew's mix of preppy-yet-accessible, casually chic, well-fitting, affordable, and "very cool" clothing, but did you realize we're financing the substance abuse of these models? Today's best new Tumblr, Drunk J.Crew, exposes the lushes of Ginghamville.

The 10-year-old boy charged as an adult in the murder of a 90-year-old woman may have been intimidated into a confession by police, according to the boy's attorney.

It wasn't that long ago when Crossfire, CNN's goofy establishment shoutfest, was considered a serious detriment to journalism. Well, it took care of itself. The show is being canceled (again).

Big Man on Commercial Novelist Campus John Grisham has told a London newspaper that he is concerned about America's jails. Specifically, he is worried that they are becoming stuffed with old white men, which he seems to have defined primarily as friends of his who, in his view, innocently enjoy underage porn.