Yesterday, President Obama waded into the ongoing—and somewhat confusing—debate about “net neutrality.” If you’re curious why this matters, or what “net neutrality” actually means, this explainer is for you.

Duncanville High School English teacher Vinita Hegwood was suspended without pay today after she tweeted on Friday that "crackers" who care about her opinions on Ferguson should kill themselves. It's not clear exactly what prompted the tweet, but here it is:

New rules proposed this week would require the world's biggest banks to hold more capital, in an effort to (begin trying to) put an end to the "Too Big to Fail" dynamic. If this doesn't work we can always smash them.

Men will do basically anything in an effort to have sex—this is a known fact. A man will even parade a houseplant around for days while taking photos with it. Let us examine the case of a man named Eric Freeman.

Have any interest in funding a zombie outbreak response team? How about an eight-foot-tall sculpture of a hummingbird, or the children's book Ants in the Plants at Gramp's? Do these Wig Hatz 4 Cancer inspire you to open your wallet? If you answered "yes" to any of them, congratulations: You're the only person who ever has.

Whole Foods, a company that has lately been beloved by yuppies, the middle class, and Wall Street alike, is facing demands for a union. But Whole Foods hates unions! How much? An insider tells us more.

The Newsroom's timeline, which trails along just behind the present day, has finally caught up with last year's Boston Marathon bombing. In the season premiere, Will McAvoy and friends turned their Sorkin-given powers of razor-sharp righteousness toward Reddit's botched online hunt for the bombers.

Here is something that was made to get people on the internet mad: a hidden camera video of a hotel housekeeper looking through a guy's stuff while she was cleaning his room. "Shocking" is how various places have described the video, but is it really? And more importantly: who really cares if this happens?

The Mormon Church quietly dumped a series of essays on its website today, including one in which leadership officially admits that the church's founder, Joseph Smith, had as many as 40 wives, including one who was only 14-years-old.

Eight-and-a-half month old baby Wyatt (not this one) is in the zone. He's playing along with a Pantera song his mommy and his daddy put on in order to record a video for the Internet and he doesn't give one heck about anything that anybody thinks about it, or about the impossibilities re: a baby drumming. He's in the zone, man, and all he can do is smile. And drum.

Capitalizing on the conversation around catcalling and street harassment started by Hollaback's "10 Hours Walking in NYC as a Woman," upstart YouTube prankster Stephen Zhang upped the ante by filming a "drunk" woman as she tried to get directions to a bus on Hollywood Boulevard. Plenty of men were willing to "help" her, but not to her bus stop.

Number One Proponent of Living Your Best Life Robyn Rihanna Fenty graced our nation's capital with her presence yesterday, and she paid a little visit to the White House, no big deal. While we don't have any photos of RiRi hanging with Obama—yet—she did post a bunch of her pretending to be Scandal's Olivia Pope.

Facebook and Google, multi-billion dollar corporations that mine your private data for money, are apparently very concerned about the Ebola virus, because they are "socially active" companies. So they are asking—nay, guilting—their users for money to "help" "stop" and "fight" Ebola.

Casper Kelly, the creator of the biggest thing on the internet last week, "Too Many Cooks," says that when devising the wide-ranging parody's twisted plot, he aimed to break patterns. As soon as you got used to the video's repetitive nature, he wanted to throw at you something you weren't expecting.

Alan Martin, the moron who strapped himself down to a chair in a Burlington, NC Olive Garden to shovel the pasta from his Never Ending Pasta Pass into his mouth for seven weeks, has finished his self-inflicted sentence.

Self-employed former Gap spokesmodel Andrew Sullivan has been typing about the Gamergate movement again. Previously, when he weighed in, he began by telling his readers that they knew gamer culture "far, far better than I."

Yesterday, we asked our readers about any hot military veterans they knew or were aware of. You submitted the names—and photos!—of politicians, actors, friends, mothers, and fathers. This is an alphabetized list of hot veterans who are public figures; we’ll be running a separate post with reader submissions later today. Enjoy.

The advent of Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew—Dewitos, if you will (I won't)—has created a snack-beverage singularity akin to a spiritual experience, and Stephen Colbert is totally on board. Bring it on! Drinkify everything!

In a new freestyle video released on Vevo, the always-changing Eminem raps that he'd punch singer Lana Del Rey in the face "twice like Ray Rice."

Ever since Thomas Piketty's coming out party, debate has raged in America over the implications of inequality of wealth and income. A new research paper shows just how much the extremely rich—the top tenth of the top 1%—have taken control since the 1980s.