With Rolling Stone's story on gang rape at the University of Virginia spinning down the crapper, the gentlebros of Phi Kappa Psi are striking back—with a stupid, carefully worded press release. It basically means nothing.

YOGURT DIP SCANDAL? Here are the bare facts:

Stephen Colbert has some bad news about the second-to-last week of The Colbert Report: He was unable to book legendary Seattle rockers The Presidents of the United States of America to play their classic '90s jam, "Peaches." Consolation prize, though: He landed actual president Barack Obama.

Rolling Stone's managing editor Will Dana issued a note today saying that the magazine would be re-examing its blockbuster story of rape and its aftermath at the University of Virginia. The magazine announced it has found "discrepancies" in the central anecdote of Sabrina Rubin Ederly's article, an account of a student being gang-raped by seven members of a campus fraternity.

According to a scathing lawsuit from five former employees, the chef and owner of Michelin-starred restaurant Chef's Table at Brooklyn Fare served a tantalizing fusion of wage theft and virulent racism alongside its $225-a-plate prix-fixe meals.

A 22-year-old woman who was bullied for her looks as a kid says she ran into one of her former tormentors this week, and he asked her out on a date. She agreed, but only so she could stand him up in the ultimate middle-school revenge fantasy.

An unfortunate reality of the holiday season is that one must obtain gifts for those they don't necessarily like. One might even hate these people. For example, Uncle Tim's new wife Shea's daughter Melody, who once said you would be pretty if you had bangs. Or your boss, Mr. Man, who has never paid you back for the all lattes you have purchased for him. Or your ex-boyfriend, Carl, whose stunted progress on his novel—about you!—ended your relationship.

The New York Times' Steven Greenhouse has spent nearly two decades as a reporter covering labor in America. This week, he announced he's taking a buyout. He talked to us about the labor beat, unions, and the future of the American worker.

NBC's live dress rehearsal of Peter Pan bombed in the ratings, averaging 9.2 million viewers and half of what The Sound of Music drew last year in the all-important 18-49 demo. Per Vulture's Josef Adalian, numbers took a notable dive in the production's third hour—more people watched a rerun of The Big Bang Theory and a new episode of Two And A Half Men.

Look at 1 West End Avenue. Look how shiny it is. How tall. Contemplate the view. Savor it. If you're among the people slated to rent one of its 118 units of affordable housing, you won't be seeing it from this angle often, because you'll be entering through the back door.

Rich dad Kanye West is no secret admirer of comically large body parts, and also expensive art. So the reason behind his past collaboration with Japanese artist Takashi Murakami is no surprise: humungous fake breasts.

Nine senior editors, two executive editors, one legal affairs editor, and one digital media editor resigned from The New Republic today, alongside 13 contributing editors.

Bill Cosby, accused of sexually assaulting more than 20 women, has found a totally expected ally in singer Cee Lo Green, who pleaded no contest earlier this year to putting ecstasy in a woman's drink, and then asserted "Women who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!" Definitely the guy you want on your team.

Ye foolish sheep. So easily led astray. Ye have thought that the War on Christmas was just an annual event, lasting a few weeks. But what if this war hath been going on for decades?

Alert siren alert: one Victoria's Secret supermodel and one non-model attended an indie rock concert last night where they might have totally, undoubtedly, absolutely for sure kissed in public, maybe.

While you're sitting at work like a chump, this little brainless idiot got a head start on its super dumb weekend. What are you waiting for?

On the second day of his scathing coverage of a grand jury's decision not to indict the cop who choked Eric Garner to death, Jon Stewart remained mostly serious, but some of the things people are saying about the case were too dumb and wrong not to mock. And by "people," I mean Rand Paul.

Peter Liang, the rookie Brooklyn cop who shot and killed unarmed black man Akai Gurley two weeks ago, was texting his union rep instead of calling for help as Gurley lay dying, the New York Daily News reports.

Earlier this year, Vice Media explored the possibility of taking over the CNN-owned cable network HLN. At an employee meeting this week, CNN boss Jeff Zucker reportedly said Vice boss Shane Smith is "an asshole." Wrong, Jeff—you're both assholes.

On Tuesday, Judy Huth filed a civil lawsuit claiming that in 1974 when she was 15 years old, Bill Cosby took her to the Playboy mansion, gave her alcohol, and sexually assaulted her. Cosby's attorney is now seeking to dismiss that lawsuit.