Why is milk cheaper now? There's a milk glut in America. Milk glut milk glut milk glut. "People are just trying to move the milk because there's so much of it."

In a thoughtful, revealing essay for Vanity Fair, Vogue's first black cover girl Beverly Johnson writes that Bill Cosby drugged her at his home while she was auditioning for a small part on The Cosby Show in the mid-1980s. She says that she was hesitant to tell her story before, because "black men have enough enemies out there already, they certainly don't need someone like [me], an African American with a familiar face and a famous name, fanning the flames."

Eric Garner and Mike Brown are dead, and the men who killed them walked free. Why?

Beyoncé has been wearing some truly enormous clothes lately.

If you were so inclined, watching the video of Eric Garner's death, there are a few flimsy defenses you could make of the killer cop. You could say the use of force was warranted, or that Garner was wrong to resist arrest. One seemingly irrefutable point, however, is that Daniel Pantaleo choked him.

In recent weeks, several respected magazines, their publishers, and writers have fallen prey to various journalistic malfeasance and scandals. Who is to blame? Internet boogeymen, of course.

A 73-year-old man was arrested Tuesday in the parking lot of a South Carolina Lowe's after someone told police he'd been sitting in a handicapped spot, acting suspicious. When cops approached him, Leroy Moore confessed he'd been using the store's free Wi-Fi to look at child porn.

Quirky bathrobe Zooey Deschanel is being sued by a horse owner because she allegedly injured a rented stallion named Literati (lol) so badly that he will never be the same again. Zooey Deschanel, what did you do?

Stephen Colbert, Middle Earth aficionado, landed the role of cover model for Entertainment Weekly's Hobbit tribute. We're coming to accept that we'll have to get used to Colbert outside of his Report persona, but who knew he made such a sexy Legolas?

Chris Rock's Top Five doesn't have any real villains, per se, but in it is one truly awful character. The film has been very well reviewed, so perhaps this depiction is hitting me harder than most people. I do think, though, it is worth examining.

Despite the fact that the richest one-one-thousandth of Americans has now accumulated almost as much wealth as the entire bottom 90% of Americans, almost two thirds of the people in this country still believe in some version of the American Dream. Optimism lives!

When you're trapped in an elevator with an inconsolable monster, at what point do you begin wondering whether you've died and been sent to some especially cruel hell? Is it when he repeatedly rings the emergency bell, or starts loudly singing Metallica, or when he tells the woman trying to help to suck his cock?

A 48-year-old Florida woman was arrested Sunday afternoon after she allegedly punched her twin sister in the face, then scratched her and pulled her hair. Heidi Creamer screamed at Manatee County deputies that the fight was over "a vibrator and her boyfriend."

As the New York Times style section dutifully tackles health goth, and while the land of 1,000 babies sees the closure of its beloved artisan tea shop, something BIG is afoot in a different borough. It's Queens. You ever heard of it? You know the one. It's over there, fresh for the wrecking.

Failed party planner Pippa Middleton crawled out of her sister's dungeon yesterday long enough to cry "scuse me, did somebody say butts?" In a very rude column for The Spectator, Pips wrote about Kim Kardashian's ass, because, I guess, Pippa herself wore a butt to a wedding that one time.

Continuing its streak of cutting all the wrong things, Saturday Night Live released this very solid VH1 parody sketch from last weekend's James Franco episode as a "digital exclusive"—not sure if that's better or worse than "cut for time."

If America ever wants to shed our cynical, accurate view of our political system being solely a game for the rich, we must—must!—reform the way we finance political campaigns. This week, Congress is determined to take a big step in the wrong direction.

Mark Wahlberg tells The New York Daily News that he wants his 1988 felony assault conviction pardoned because he's a good role model and "every single day I try to better myself as a person." He also, according to his original petition, wants to volunteer with the LAPD.

Four months after beheading American journalist James Foley, ISIS is ransoming his remains for $1 million, according to a new report by BuzzFeed.

Put away your Prozac; trash the Wellbutrin. The cure to depression is ketamine, and doctors are trip-sitting patients across the country.