Like we always do at this time, I've put together a montage of outlandish moments from garbagey TV this year.

"Lawlessness will rule," warns former New York police commissioner and convicted felon Bernard Kerik in an essay on Time magazine's website.

Today, District Attorney John Chisholm said former Milwaukee police officer Christopher Manney would not be charged in the shooting of Dontre Hamilton. On April 30, Manney shot Hamilton, who was unarmed, 14 times during an incident at Red Arrow Park in downtown Milwaukee.

Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner released this statement today regarding Sabrina Rubin Erdely's now-discredited story about an alleged gang rape at UVa: "We have asked the Columbia Journalism School to conduct an independent review of the editorial process that led to the publication of this story."

Legendary rock singer Joe Cocker has died from complications of lung cancer. He was 70.

The developer of Glorious Leader!, a retro video game starring North Korean despot Kim Jong-un as a heavily armed, unicorn-riding superhero, is stoically moving forward with his game in spite of the explosion of unpaid publicity it's gained from the Sony Pictures hack.

Axe body spray's new White Label line is targeting a more mature and refined class of virgins. "White Label products aim to help make men seem famous with such unusual fragrance notes as praline, star fruit, moss, fig and ginger."

Last night, Baltimore's WBFF aired a video of protesters chanting "kill a cop"– evidence, it claimed, of murderously violent rhetoric on the part of anti-brutality protesters in Washington, D.C. The only problem? The protesters weren't chanting "kill a cop" at all, and there's video evidence to prove it.

Last week, police arrested Gaylard Williams, a 59-year-old Indiana pastor known for his homophobic preachings, for—well, what do you think? Louisville’s WLKY station supplies the only possible answer:

The evidence linking agents of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea to the recent digital implosion of Sony remains vague. And even though the feds are squarely blaming North Korea, many security experts aren't buying it.

Look at you. "I practiced this dance in front of a mirror, so I know it looks good." Give me a break. "Everyone compliments me on my dancing." Come on. "I'm pretty good." Yeah right. You know who's actually good at dancing? This dog!

Noted media thinker Jay Rosen offers this advice to to working journalists: if you don't thoroughly understand your company's business model, then "you should quit." Allow us to offer this counterpoint: whatever you do, do not listen to this man.

The man accused of sexually assaulting two Columbia students and groping a third broke his silence today in an interview with The New York Times. Paul Nungesser maintains his innocence on all counts, and notes, "My mother raised me as a feminist."

Gwyneth Paltrow, the taut, kale-filled stomach behind upscale lifestyle brand GOOP, was rejected as an editor for Yahoo Food, the New York Times reports, in an article that also broke the news that Yahoo Food exists.

A seal was found in a field. You good, dog? You must be confused. That's not where seals go. What's up with you? You got this whole thing twisted. How'd you get there?

For the first time in 22 years, three former strangers picked to live in a loft and have their lives taped returned to said loft to have their mini reunion taped.

A Wisconsin man was arrested in Wausau last week for alleged horse fucking after sheriff's deputies found him in a barn with a jar of vaseline. Jared Kreft, 30, was reportedly wearing "a face mask, black jacket and blue wind pants with holes cut in the groin and buttocks areas," and later admitted to performing oral sex on the horse.

The UK is preparing to criminalize the manipulation of exchange rates and other financial benchmarks. Apparently that was legal until now.

In a benchmark animal rights case this week, an orangutan who has spent the entirety of her life in zoos has now been declared a "nonhuman person" by a court and will be transferred to an animal sanctuary, Reuters reports.

According to a report published in the New York Times, British, Indian, and American intelligence agencies failed to piece together major plot details of Pakistani terrorist group Lashkar-e-Taiba before they carried out the gruesome, three-day onslaught in Mumbai in 2008 that left 166 dead, including six Americans.