Infamous sweaty, drinky media party crasher Priyantha Silva is still going—we've been covering his exploits since 2006. We received several sightings of the editor-impersonating, tax-evading Casanova-striver last month, which dovetailed nicely with his past threats of threatening to "ruin" and kill reporters who dared to mention his antics. Then, I saw him at an art auction last week, and pondered approaching him just to see what might happen. We made eye contact, but I decided, "You know what, I just can't deal with this kind of shit right now." And now, we've got yet another classic sighting from a lady—he loves the ladies—plus drunk pics from a black-tie event at Cipriani!

The Iraq War is over, according to the fake New York Times! This morning a cadre of volunteers has fanned out across New York City to pass out a remarkably good, faux-copy of the Times dated July 4, 2009. They've even set up an entire website with all of the liberal fantasy headlines. Universities to be free! Bike paths to be expanded! Thomas Friedman to resign, praise the Unitarian Jesus! It's not funny like The Onion, but obviously a lot of work went into this. Now we play "Who did it?" We already know!: We have done some sleuthing based on intelligence received yesterday. First of all, this stunt needed a lot of volunteers to distribute the papers. They were rallied online, via BecauseWeWantit.org. This email went out to the collaborators last night:

A couple of weeks ago, Donald Trump said the financial crisis would turn out to be totally fantastic (or "huuuge") for his real estate business, and he'd end up doubling his net worth when all was said and done. He was just deflecting the truth, of course: The interview came a couple of days after the Wall Street Journal documented the many troubles at his Trump International Hotel & Tower in Chicago and suggested he might even lose control of the property if he couldn't buy more time from the bank that had loaned him $640 million. Well, it turns out he couldn't, which is why Trump filed suit today against Deutsche Bank, who provided him the cash to construct the gold-plated monstrosity. Trump argues he was wronged when his lenders denied his request for an extension. Why? Because they're legally obligated to give him more time on account of the financial crisis. That's a clever one! We're totally going to try using that excuse the next time our credit card bill comes in the mail!

• Jennifer Aniston has an "unbelievably warm and respectful" relationship with ex-husband Brad Pitt, but that skank new wife of his? Who recently told the Times she and Pitt fell in love on the Mr. & Miss Smith set, while he was still married to Aniston? She's a piece of work. "That stuff about how she couldn't wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool."

♦ Brooke Astor's former estate in Westchester has finally hit the market: Holly Hill is now up for sale for $12.9 million. The 10,000-square-foot mansion includes 13 bedrooms, six marble fireplaces, indoor and outdoor pools, and views of the Hudson River. [NYO, Sotheby's]
♦ The Greenwich Village townhouse owned by the non-profit group Pen and Brush has gone on the market for $13.525 million. [NYT, PDE]
♦ Corcoran broker Leighton Candler, who currently has the listings for Brooke Astor's former co-op and Bill and Tina Flaherty's spread at 1040 Fifth Avenue, has placed another pricey property on the market: A full-floor apartment at the Ritz-Carlton on Central Park South can be yours for $35 million. [NYO, Corcoran]

It will be a big night for disgraced Lehman CEO Dick Fuld and his wife Kathy: The couple's collection of postwar drawings goes up for auction at Christie's this evening. The Fulds reportedly made arrangements to sell the pieces over the summer—and the auction house gave them a $20 million guarantee, a decision it probably now regrets—although news of the sale emerged four days after the investment bank went bust. Works by Willem de Kooning, Barnett Newman, Arshile Gorky, and Agnes Martin will be available to those who still have a few million to spare (and who aren't too deterred by the Fulds' bad mojo). Meanwhile, some of the art that Dick once enjoyed seeing on the walls of Lehman Brothers will also be coming to market in the near future: The bankrupt bank is selling $8 million worth of pictures currently languishing in warehouses in New York and Paris.

"I think she should keep her head down, work really hard and learn about governing." [Post]

Did you know that Tony Sirico, AKA Paulie Walnuts from Sopranos, has a new line of cologne? We didn't! But it doesn't sound like you're going to want to add Paolo per Uomo to your holiday shopping list. The always-understated Post says the scent "smells like every lasagna-loving, spaghetti-slurping mob-boss wannabe or cheap imitation consigliere," and has "top notes of cigar ash and polyester jumpsuits" mixed with "hints of stripper sweat and a cream-filled cannoli." [NYP]

MSNBC moved to protect America from Joe Scarborough and his vile, cursed curses. According to Broadcasting & Cable, the Morning Joe host will be delayed seven seconds to hopefully prevent a repeat of his on-air "fuck you" Monday morning. That puts the former Republican Congressman in the same electronic dunce cap as Don Imus, who was tape-delayed by the cable network before he managed to broadcast something racist anyway. There's already chatter this makes Scarborough's show less edgy and "dangerous," but a tape delay can't prevent another nasty on-air fracas between Scarborough and his lefty colleagues, now can it?

A judge cleared the way for gay marriage to begin in Connecticut this morning, and no one is wasting any time: Town clerks were directed to begin issuing licenses to gay couples, and several ceremonies are already scheduled for later today. [AP]

Not even the presence of high-profile collectors like Steve Martin, Valentino, and billionaire Eli Broad (who dropped $8 million on works by Ed Ruscha, Jeff Koons, Robert Rauschenberg, and Donald Judd) could save last night's Sotheby's contemporary art sale from being a big disappointment. Twenty paintings, including a Lichtenstein and a Damien Hirst, were left on the block, and the total tally was $125.1 million, far below the conservative presale estimate of $202.4 million. One genre that's apparently recession proof: John Currin and his trademark boobies. His "Nice 'n' Easy," an oil of two curvaceous naked women, went for a record $5.4 million. [NYT, Bloomberg]

It turns out Anne Hathaway and Ron Burkle share something in common besides Raffaello Follieri. Both are celebrating their birthdays today, too! Anne is turning 26; the supermarket mogul, Democratic fundraiser, and owner of the late Radar, is 56. Others celebrating today: Paper co-founder Kim Hastreiter is 57. Ryan Gosling turns 28. Megan Mullally is 50. Author Naomi Wolf is 46. Neil Young is turning 63. Sammy Sosa is 40. R&B singer Omarion is 24. Gymnastics legend Nadia Comaneci is 47. Actor Wallace Shawn is 65. Simon & Schuster publisher David Rosenthal is turning 55. And your favorite disgraced ice queen, Tonya Harding, is 38 years old.

♦ Jennifer Aniston is finally speaking out about her breakup with Brad Pitt. In the December issue of Vogue, she says what Angelina Jolie did was "really uncool," and that she had no idea that Brad had cheated on her until she read about it afterwards. [MSNBC, NYP]
♦ The security guard who roughed-up Brad Pitt at the premiere of his own movie on Monday night says he was only trying to protect Brad by helping him get away from a pack of aggressive photographers. [ET, NYP]
♦ Madonna is supposedly considering a career as a movie director so she can "rival" her ex, Guy Ritchie, at least according to her nutty brother Christopher Ciccone. She should have more time to pursue a directing career if she chooses to: Officials in Malawi have said she can "forget" about adopting another baby as long as she plans to bring it into a "broken home." [The Sun, MSNBC]
♦ Billy Ray Cyrus says he is trying to get Malia and Sasha Obama to appear in an episode of Hannah Montana. [NYDN]

♦ American Express may be looking for as much as $3.5 billion in government assistance as the company struggles with reduced consumer spending and rising defaults. [WSJ]
♦ Hope is fading fast at GM. Shares fell to $2.92 on Tuesday, the lowest level in 65 years, and the company does not expect "to continue as a going concern" without a rescue plan in place by the end of the year. Meanwhile, Democrats are pushing ahead with a plan to save the automaker. [NYT, Bloomberg]
♦ Who doesn't want a piece of the bailout? The line outside the Treasury Department in Washington is a long one. [NYT]

Barack Obama's historic presidential victory aroused so much emotion: Tears on an Oprah level, ecstasy on a spontaneous street party level and anger at a loudly-interrupt-an-old-war-hero level. So Newsweek can't help but ask... did it turn you on? And did you then have hot, hope-filled change sex, or maybe change-filled hope sex, possibly ending in someone yelling "Yes We Can?" Because, seriously, that would be perfect. Read the magazine's written inquiry after the jump.

John McCain wants to be liked again. His unenviable job as the Republican presidential nominee was to derail the campaign of the first black president and to defend an unpopular party, and he only made things worse for himself by getting blatantly underhanded toward the end of everything. His performance last night on the Tonight Show — the jokes, the occasional concession to a mildly pointed question from Jay Leno, the self deprecation — seemed designed, if only subconsciously, to invoke the McCain of the 2000 campaign bus, beloved by the press, or of the October Al Smith dinner, who was seriously funny, or the candidate who made a conciliatory concession speech to an angry crowd.

As if life isn't depressing enough for Hillary Clinton right now, when everyone from the president elect on down seems to be giving her the cold shoulder, now the former Democratic presidential candidate has to contend with the warm, unfortunate embrace of Sarah Palin. Palin said in part two of Greta Van Susteren's interminable interview that Clinton broke the glass ceiling for her Republican vice presidential run. Then she remembered that Hillary lost, so she amended her statement to say Clinton just bloodied her head against the glass ceiling, apparently so a social conservative whose looks earned her outsized press attention could complain about the media's "double standard."

Owen snapped this photo of a new Tesla electric roadster rockstar-parked outside Joey & Eddie's. Too bad I'm not there. There are only so many tables in that restaurant, so I'm sure I'd find the owner before getting thrown out on my face.

With the stock market officially crashed and the economy collapsed, everyone wants a piece of the Treasury Department's $700 billion bailout package, especially now that there's only $60 billion left. The cash line includes automakers, insurers, credit card issuers, boat financers, blah blah blah the important part is they all have to go beg as supplicants to a strapping man in a cowboy hat, who says no, and spanks them. Forget bald, hunky Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson or his young ski bum deputy Neel Kashkari: Jeb Mason will neg you for the win. Reports the Times:

"Based on all this information and research, hopefully you can stretch the standards to allow 'Bitchassness' to be printed." [Daily Intel]