Does super deluxe magazine publisher Conde Nast have trouble "getting" the internet? In a macro sense we'd say they have trouble "getting" the entire magazine business at the moment, since they're in the midst of hacking 5% of their staff off every title, including dozens of online staff at CondeNet. So in that sense their troubles are equally distributed! But as Big Money points out today, Conde has been particularly slow to embrace the web, especially considering the company's level of prestige. Could the problem be.... ego? Big Money says, correctly, that even the magazines with good websites have a relatively weak online presence considering their role in the media power structure. Conde, which was late to take the internet seriously, is even worse, although it owns some of the best magazines in the country.

Vito Schnabel (son of Julian) and Olivier Sarkozy (half-brother of Nicolas) hosted Terence Koh's "Flowers for Baudelaire" exhibition on Wednesday night at Richard Avedon's former studio, where the unusual art was admired by the likes of Anna Wintour, Simon de Pury, Jeffrey Deitch, Allison Sarofim, Stella Schnabel, Olmo Schnabel, Lola Schnabel, Jacqueline Schnabel, Zac Posen, Ann Dexter-Jones, Nadine Johnson, Theodora Richards, Alexandra Richards, Byrdie Bell, Benjamin Cho, Cynthia Rowley, Salman Rushie, Lyor Cohen, Todd Eberle, Derek Blasberg, Genevieve Jones, Yvonne Force Villareal, Drena De Niro, Lisa Anastos, and Gilles Bensimon. [PMc, NYM, GoaG]

With hazmat-suited Harpo workers running Geiger counters over Jennifer Aniston on her way out of the Oprah Winfrey Show studios and failing to find even the slightest traces of irradiated uncoolness, we thought we were finally in the clear with regard to the deadly sexual politics meltdown to contaminate America's superstar love triangles. Alas, a new uncool hot spot has been identified in the Brangelina household, where Aniston-dumping Brad Pitt is reportedly fuming over his ex's totally uncool calling out of his current partner's uncoolness:

Remember when the music industry said MP3s on the Internet were going to destroy music? Here's an inside glimpse at how much things have changed since Napster. Today, publicists contact me to try to arrange stories about songs their clients have intentionally "leaked" onto the Internet. American Idol David Cook is the latest in a long line. David, I love your act, but next time bypass the "mobile-only social network" and upload yourself straight to YouTube. Here's the pitch, minus the name of the hanger-on tech company trying to ride along with Cook's fame:

Have you ever looked at a Barbie doll and wished you could replicate the look for yourself? You'll be able to do just that in a few short months. Mattel is now planning to turn Barbie into an "adult fashion brand"—something the company has already done in Asia—and partnerships are already in place with Bloomingdale's, Vera Wang, and Jeremy Scott. Mattel has also negotiated a pact with the CFDA whereby the trade group will help the company locate 50 designers willing to "produce life-size outfits inspired by Barbie" in exchange for a big, fat wad of cash, and Barbie's first runway show will take place during Fashion Week in February. But there's more to come: Mattel is also launching a line of beauty products, one of which bears the very appropriate name "Plastic Smooth." [WWD, The Cut]

What great bard was it that once said, "You don't know what you got til it's gone"? Superman, right? Maybe it was one of the Wonder Twins? Ah, well, no matter — it's just that this brand-new, second official trailer for Zach Snyder's Watchmen calls to mind that intense pang of loss one feels when something dear is stripped away. In this case, we are referring to Billy Crudup's naked blue wang, which seems to have gone missing.It was less than a month ago that Crudup's CG cerulean phallus first thrust itself into the national consciousness, and in that time we've stopped pondering matters like, "Dude, Rorshach sounds just like Christian Bale as Batman" or "Nope, nope, still don't care for that Silk Spectre costume," instead devoting our thoughts to only one question: "The wang — how much are we gonna see it?" Sadly, the new trailer is totally wang-free, indicating that whole scenes — even ones that Crudup does not appear in! — may occur without a glimpse of his flaccid, blue Lower Manhattan. For shame, Mr. Snyder. Please rectify this situation with a red-band (or blue-band?) clip, post-haste. Click to view

Google's oh-so-clever ad system has an Achilles heel: As consumers cut back on spending, they also cut back on Google searches for stuff they want to buy. Furthermore, many shoppers now click on more links in search of a bargain. An official statement from IAC, which uses Google to serve ads on Ask.com, says search trends "have not been good over the last 30 to 60 days ... particularly on commercial-oriented queries." On the upside, the WSJ's reporting didn't find an analyst willing to forecast anything gloomier than 11% growth for Google in 2009. On the downside, 11% growth at Google means no more buying jets to park at Nasa next door.

We hear that there are layoffs at Forbes.com today—according to one source, the "entire staffs" of the Forbes Auto and Forbes Traveler online divisions have been cut. If you have any more information, email us.

The new Billy Elliot Broadway musical is a sad, soaring little British tart of an evening at the theatre. Well, the content is sad, yes, but the play also ripples with the inherent melancholia of children on stage, specifically young master Elliot. You see, three distinct lads play the north English son of a coal miner who dreams of ballet, but they're protected (and profiled) almost as one. They're the Billy Elliot Borg. But, really, because the world works the lonely way that it does, only one can truly shine. The boy we saw this past week (and the boy who chief New York Times critic Ben Brantley saw) was a fellow named David Alvarez, a beguilingly accented young son of Cuban defectors raised in Québec. He's a revelation in the ballet bits, an angry smear of slight imperfections in his tap, and a multi-culti trilingual 13-year-old trying his best in the show's more dialogue-heavy stretches. We mean to say he's terrific and pure and now well-reviewed by the biggest newspaper in the land and... what about the other two? Will they be forced to forever play catch up? Essentially they're all fighting to become... what? The next Andrea McArdle? What's sad for the fey American boy and the sternly pretty Soviet bloc chap who play Billy in rotation with Alvarez, is that their Cuba-fro'd counterpart has actually already won. They'll all be nominated for Tonys together if they're nominated at all (as is what happened in London and Sydney when the show opened in those cities), they share interview time, and a thick veil of secrecy is kept under which Billy will be going on what night. But still, man. Alvarez bled into his shoes for all the critics, for the all the glory (and the big, pretty Times Arts page photo). The American kid tappa-tappa-tappa'd for the big Opening Night and the blonde comrade performed on The View, but you'll only get that one critics' night. And the rightful son took the mantle that evening. Which makes the show uplifting. And makes the show really, really sad.

No holiday celebrations this year for employees of CB Richard Ellis and Cushman & Wakefield: Both real estate firms have decided to forgo their annual Christmas parties. But CBRE says it's going to give employees a half-day off from work instead, which might very well be a better deal. [NYO]

Pictured is NYU economist and Facebook stalker Nouriel Roubini, a.k.a. Dr. Doom. There's a highlight clip going around the internet (it's after the jump) of an investment guru named Peter Schiff predicting our current economic crisis on various TV shows over the past couple of years, and being roundly mocked by the hosts and the other guests for doing so. Now they all look dumb (that's you, Ben Stein) and he looks great. So what's the media's nickname for Schiff? "Dr. Doom." Uh, yea, that one sounds familiar. Just how many freaking economists nicknamed "Dr. Doom" are there these days?

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your weekly guide to everything new, noteworthy and cash-hoarding at the movies. That latter qualifier is the centerpiece of today's new openings, with the 007 franchise facing virtually no competition outside a few escaped zoo animals from last week. But you still have options, including some critics' choice for this year's best picture and the usual harvest of fresh DVD's. As always, our opinions are our own, but their hauling power is unmatched and they seat millions comfortably. Take a test drive after the jump?WHAT'S NEW: Quantum of Solace has the wide-release slot to itself, where Daniel Craig's brooding Bond will likely crest above $60 million — by far the highest opening gross of any 007 film to date. We'll call it for $63.7 million despite some pull from leftovers Madagascar 2 and Role Models, themselves expecting $40 million and $10 million respectively in their second weekends. Your options are a lot better when avoiding the multiplex in LA: Jean-Claude Van Damme's meta-self-biopic JCVD is opening, along with the almost universally acclaimed Catherine Deneuve/Mathieu Amalric dramedy A Christmas Tale. Also: The Alphabet Killers, featuring Eliza Dushku as a police detective (!); the explicit gay Israeli romantic comedy Antarctica; the talky Afghanistan war indie B.O.H.I.C.A. (Army slang for "Bend Over Here it Comes Again"); the Liberian repression doc Pray the Devil Back to Hell; the Jewish basketball chronicle The First Basket; and a new adaptation of Dalton Trumbo's novel Johnny Got His Gun. THE BIG LOSER: Aside from the glut of indies above, chasing scraps from art-house audiences on their way to DVD — and Soul Men continuing to underperform with $2.2 million or so — today's slate seems to be pretty insulated from disaster. Everyone wins!

Like most hedge fund moguls, Steve Cohen hasn't been having a very good run recently. (His flagship fund is reportedly down 18 percent so far this year.) But that isn't stopping the billionaire from making some home improvements: The proud owner of one of the most over-the-top estates in America is now looking to make his mansion even bigger. Last night, an application by Cohen and his wife, Alexandra, was put before the Greenwich Planning and Zoning Commission. The couple is seeking permission to add another 1,145 square feet to their already-massive 35,000-square-foot Crown Lane home. There's no word just yet as to whether the request was approved. There's also no word on what exactly the Cohens plan to use the additional space for, especially since the estate already has a basketball court, indoor pool, 6,734-square-foot ice skating rink (along with a separate structure to house the Zamboni), and about half a billion dollars in art scattered in every direction. A few photos of Cohen's estate are located here.

Good news! October videogame sales were up 18 percent to $1.31 billion. Most of the growth comes from increased game sales, but Nintendo sold a surprising 803,000 Wii consoles.

Are you close personal friends with Kim Basinger? If you are, and you're still looking for a perfect (and really inexpensive!) holiday gift to give her, you can head over to Europe where an ad agency is distributing Alec Baldwin-themed toilet paper as part of a promotion for 30 Rock. [AdFreak]

Chief executive ponytail-twirler Jonathan Schwartz is annoyingly vague in this San Jose Mercury News interview. Got more details on Sun's layoffs? Please send 'em in. Neither one of us has a job to protect anymore, so we might as well blog the facts. (Photo by AP/Paul Sakuma)

Sex sells fruit. Sex sells condoms. Sex sells magazines. Sex sells charity. Sex sells cheap clothes and pseudocool clothes. Even child sex sells cosmetics. So people are pretty cool with sex, and its selling implications. But does dog sex sell? We can only hope. Click through for the big version. [via Copyranter at Coilhouse]

[Actress Jennifer Aniston (who was funny on "30 Rock" last night!) with her on again, off again boyfriend singer John Mayer, in Soho last night; image via INF] homobot v3.0's new line beats the original, "Stop Paying Attention To Us! Wait Wait Wait, No. Don't Stop."

Everyone thought that yesterday's secret tween heroin junkie was Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen. I think this is sad, but according to her makeup, it is also true. Today we have an actor who almost lost his house, a blind item about Beyonce Knowles, fake celebrity friends, and a secretly canceled show. 1) "It seems as if the housing crisis has hit just about everyone, even celebrities. This recently divorced B list actor on a hit network show lost most of his money in his divorce. After the divorce he bought a new place which he could barely afford even with his salary. Being single and available he was spending every night out and not saving a penny. When the writer strike came along he didn't have any money at all and all of the furniture he had been leasing was taken from him. He was living in a 5,000 square foot house with a tv and a chair. When his castmates heard about his plight and that his house was going to be foreclosed they took up a collection and raised enough to pay his mortgage for the next year. Fell good story huh? It is until you realize that he has been spending all their kindness money on trips to Vegas and going out, and just thinking that his next payday is right around the corner. We'll see." [CDaN] 2) "This Superstar Singer is on a roll. She has a big movie coming out and a hot new album. Despite her media hoopla, a lot of people are surprised that she did not offer condolences to a former co-star who has suffered a major tragedy." [BlindGossip] 3) "Which celebrity had more than her tummy tucked after having a baby? She also had a brow lift, an eye lift, some botox in the forehead, and some collagen in the lips. It's not a dramatic change, but when you see her, your first thought will be that she looks somehow, umm…different. She had such an interesting, distinct look before the surgery. Now she just looks generic." [BlindGossip] 4) "Girl 1 and Girl 2 have been friends for a long time. Girl 1 is clearly the more well-known and high profile of the two. While both have had their share of man troubles, Girl 1 has had extra press scrutiny in the past year based on some revelations about the demise of her relationship. Girl 2 has always been a good and supportive friend, and has always backed her pal both privately and publicly. Unfortunately, Girl 1 is not at all happy about the latter. In fact, she just told Girl 2 to "Shut the f*** up" and let her handle her own business with the press." [BlindGossip] 5) "Which TV drama series is going to go off the air without wrapping storylines or telling the viewers? The network is pretending that everything is fine. The stars continue to smile, and the network continues to promote the show. However, the schedule has been shuffled and show's writers have been told to clear out their offices." [BlindGossip]

♦ Peter Chernin, Rupert Murdoch's right-hand at News Corp., may be planning to depart the company in the near future. [LAT]
♦ 60 Minutes has snagged the first interview with Barack Obama. [THR]
♦ WWD has a roundup of how magazines will fare overall in 2008. Most of the news is depressing, yes, but there are a couple of bright spots: Elle and Men's Journal reported 3 percent increases in ad pages. [WWD]
♦ You knew this one was coming: Political statistics star Nate Silver is reportedly shopping a pair of books to publishers. [NYO]