[Former person of note Lindsay Lohan spotted with a MALE companion today; image via WENN]

The early word on Kirk Cameron's Fireproof hinted that the religious-themed drama would pack a wallop at the specialty box office in late 2008. But $33 million? Holy Christ, indeed.

The Business Sheet was kind enough to dig up (and scan in) the 2002 Vanity Fair article on the "fabulous Noel sisters," the daughters of disgraced hedge fund manager Walter Noel, the man who handed over $7.5 billion to Bernie Madoff. The article concludes by pointing out that none of the five Noel girls have never been mixed up in any unseemly scandals. Guess there's a first for everything! [Business Sheet]

Herman Rosenblat's whimsical concentration camp apple-tossing love story has been exposed as a lie—now, not only is the book cancelled and movie "rewritten" as fiction, but the already-published children's book is being pulled from shelves.

The City wasn't the only dreadful reality show to premiere last night. There was also Bromance, the Brody Jenner show in which he searches for the platonic man love of his life.

• Despite the change in moderators, NBC's Meet the Press continues to dominate the Sunday morning competition. [THR]
• MTV has canceled 50 Cent's reality show. [NYP]
• The New York Times Co. is busy trying to raise capital, but the company may have to take more radical action to turn the ship around. [Reuters]
• Magazine editors on how to find happiness in 10 minutes or less. [WWD]
• It's been a lousy year for most media moguls, but Liberty Media's John Malone appears to have had the least miserable one. [NYT]

Last night, MTV started its new "Brody Jenner finds a friend" series Bromance in the way many had anticipated: with a loving homage to the naked, hooded dehumanization perfected at Abu Ghraib.

Robert Jaffe, a VP at Cohmad Securities who hooked up Palm Beach socialites to Bernie Madoff's awesome investment scheme, was a fashionable gentleman—"at one time named [high-end clothier] Louis Boston’s best customer," reports WWD. Now?

Because the Orange County, New York, and Atlanta versions of the Real Housewives reality series—about horrible noveau riche women and the booze they drink—have been such successes, another version is in the works. Newark!

It's a perfectly appropriate trend given the current craze for all things vampiric: staying young by preying on human tissue! Last month's story about baby foreskins eradicating wrinkles has been upstaged by the latest fountain of youth treatment from Tokyo: intravenous placenta extract, which, claim its devotees, makes one's skin "smoother and younger" as well as fights fatigue and treats various other ailments. Sadly, placental transfusions probably won't be offered at your local alternative health clinic anytime soon, but you could always be a brave pioneer and buy some online—and when people ask why you look so rested and glowing, just tell them you've got the contents of various strange women's uteri flowing through your veins.

Top row (from left): Daniel Craig, Russell Simmons, David Letterman. Bottom row (from left): Giorgio Armani, Beyonce, Donatella Versace.

What is there to say about new reality blob The City, which premiered last night? The Hills spin-off was both painful and completely unaffecting. There's a lot to say, but also nothing at all.

We love to ingest smoke the old-fashioned way: straight into our lungs. Second-hand smoke will do in a pinch. But third-hand smoke? What kind of smoking hysteria is that?

It's not just Ivy League-educated investment bankers in Manhattan who are getting shown the door as Citigroup trims its payroll. The 50,000 job cuts are taking place at the bank's offices around the world, a process that doesn't seem to be going all that smoothly judging by the email we received from a recently-terminated Citigroup employee in India by the name of Chetan Kelawala. It's a rather depressing and complicated tale, and we're not sure we follow what happened to Kelawala exactly. (The details are contained in the email that Kelawala sent to Citi CEO Vikram Pandit, which appears after below.) And while we have no doubt that the Hindi-speaking Pandit will get to the bottom of this situation just as soon as he possibly can, just in case he forgets (or decides that the goings-on at Citigroup's Pushp Vihar office in Delhi don't merit his time), you're more welcome to email him a reminder at vikram.pandit@citi.com.

After all the obsessive coverage of Caroline Kennedy's verbal tics the last few days (and the potential damage her ineloquence will have on her bid to fill Hillary Clinton's Senate seat), it was only a matter of time before someone uploaded a Kennedy remix to the Web. The video is after the jump, but don't listen to it for more a few seconds. The original was bad enough. Listening to two "you know"-filled minutes is bound to drive any sane person mad.

[Ol' Gingerpants Prince Harry on the island of Mauritius with 'is dumb annyoing stupidhead girlfriend yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Today we have a nasty divorce, an ungrateful gift receiver, an abusive boyfriend, and a swinging actress.

Bernie Madoff's high-profile investors may be out of luck, but employees of his firm aren't getting totally left out in the cold. The trustee presiding over the liquidation of Madoff's investment firm convinced a bankruptcy judge this morning to release $28.1 million to cover employee salaries and other expenses. This should ensure that Mark and Andy Madoff—who both worked for their father and claim they had no knowledge of their dad's scheme—get to see a paycheck at the end of the week. Perhaps they can take another fishing trip to celebrate? [NYP]

A couple of weeks ago, it was revealed that Calvin Klein had asked for permission to demolish the ugly castle in Southampton he'd purchased a few years back for $30 million in order to replace it with a much more modern creation. So what does the notoriously fickle designer have planned for the beachfront plot? Intrepid blogger Sally Spanburgh filed a Freedom of Information Act request to find out, and she now has an architect's rendering to show for her efforts. The sketch seems to be more in line with Klein's minimalist aesthetic; whether recommendation letters from Aby Rosen and Ian Schrager will be enough to get him approval from the Southampton Village Board of Historic Preservation has yet to be decided.

Bill and Hillary Clinton are going to be pushing the ceremonial button to lower the ball in Times Square on New Year's Eve! No, it's not quite like as exciting as having your finger on the button in the Oval Office, but the opportunity to make small talk with Ryan Seacrest should more than make up for it. [NYP]