Barack Obama visited a famous Washington hot dog restaurant this weekend, thrilling the good people at the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council.

There's a very good reason why Ruth Madoff's 1996 cookbook, Great Chefs of America Cook Kosher, is no longer in print. John Shoup, the CEO of Great Chefs Television, says his company trademarked the term "Great Chefs" in 1983 and forced Madoff's publisher to stop printing the book as soon as he learned of its title. Shoup claims his attorney is now looking into whether Ruth and her publisher have violated the agreement since then, although if he's hoping to get any cash out of the Madoffs, he'll have to take his place at the back of a very long line. [Eat Me Daily via NYM/Daily Intel]

Repellent-to-a-humorous-degree Post columnist Andrea Peyser is an example of someone who, ironically, arrived at populism by way of xenophobia and overall distaste for mankind. Today she properly directs her venom at Graydon Carter's stupid school.

In the grand tradition of profiles that implore you not to hate the subject despite her embarrassment of blessings, Page Six Magazine's interview with Isabella Rossellini's daughter Elettra Wiedemann pretends to humanize her by using adjectives like "klutz" and "dork," and telling us that as a teen she wore a back brace for scoliosis, which made her cruel Nightingale-Bamford classmates tease her.

[Katie Holmes and her husband Tom Cruise at yesterday's Home Foreclosure Charity Fund Gala Golden Globe awards; image via Splash]

A swashbuckling Somali pirate went back for one last big score. He thought he had it made—until disaster struck. The hand of providence at work? Or just proof that pirate stories are all cinematic?

Today we have a thwarted threesome, a dim-bulb actress, a porn obsessed comedian, a horny millionaire, and an overweight lady.

It's true! The Yankees player Alex Rodriguez, who like teammate Derek Jeter sucks very much, was seen canoodling with actress Kate Hudson at an underground Manhattan fish restaurant.

Bernie Madoff won't have to make new friends at Rikers tonight. A federal judge, Ronald Ellis, denied a request by prosecutors that Madoff be jailed while awaiting trial. Judge Ellis did impose a couple of new conditions, ordering Madoff to compile an inventory of all items in his home and barring him from transferring property. But you can be sure that fellow residents of 133 East 64th Street won't be too pleased to hear their most infamous neighbor will be relaxing in his penthouse for the foreseeable future. The judge's full ruling is after the jump.

• Investment banker E. Stephen Benson has lowered the price of his penthouse apartment at 885 Park Avenue for the third time since first listing it for $13 million in early 2008. The two-bedroom pad, which includes a library, chef's kitchen, and wrap-around terrace (left), is now listed with Serena Boardman for $9.5 million. [Cityfile, Sotheby's]
• Andrew Weinberg, an exec at the private equity firm Lindsay Goldberg, has paid $8.35 million for a 14th-floor apartment at 170 East End Ave. [Cityfile]
• Lizz Winstead, the co-creator of The Daily Show, has paid $700,000 for a renovated loft on Atlantic Avenue in Boerum Hill. [NYT]
• Victoria Gotti has lowered the price of her Old Westbury mansion to $3.2 million, just weeks after listing it for $3.5 million. [Newsday, Laffey]

Even the least cynical among us appreciate that it is in Barack Obama's best interest to paint as grim a picture of the current economic situation as possible, hence his announcement that the country is about to hit "a trillion dollar deficit." The only problem is, nobody really has a clue what one trillion means!

• Will Bernie Madoff sleep in his bed tonight? Will he sent to jail for violating the terms of his bail? Judge Ronald Ellis will answer the question in the next few hours, but if you're dying to find out Bernie's fate the minute it happens, you can tune into Fox's live feed from outside his apartment building. [Bloomberg, Fox]
• In other Bernie-related news, it turns out that Bernie's sister was a victim of the scheme, too. She lost $3 million that she invested with her brother and is now "desperately" trying to sell her Palm Beach home. [NYP]
• Madoff has yet to apologize to his victims, but the Times reports that Bernie did issue regrets to his neighbors for the "terrible inconvenience" he's caused them in recent weeks. He also thanked them for their support, although it's unclear who exactly these supporters are. [NYT]

Is Kelly Killoren Bensimon already having second thoughts about her decision to join the cast of Real Housewives of New York City? "The promos for the reality show's second season—which focus largely on me, the newest addition—just started airing on Bravo. I am petrified. We have no control over the episodes because the show has already been edited," Bensimon writes in her "Socializer" column in Page Six magazine. "It's quite daunting to know that I've opened myself up to judgment. But I can't turn back now... I'm just along for the ride—bumpy or not." Good approach! Now make sure you have plenty of dramamine in your medicine cabinet. [Page Six Mag]

• Talks between Citigroup and Morgan Stanley continue as the two banks discuss a plan to combine Citi's Smith Barney unit with Morgan Stanley's brokerage division in a joint venture worth $20 billion. [FT, Bloomberg, WSJ]
• It remains unclear if Vikram Pandit will be able to hang on as Citigroup's CEO, especially amid rumors the bank will report a $10 billion loss for the fourth quarter. In the meantime, banking regulators are pushing for the removal of Citi's chairman, Win Bischoff. [NYT, WSJ]
• The man who will likely lead the Citi-Morgan Stanley joint venture, James Gorman, is now considered the frontrunner to take over for Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack when he retires next year. [Bloomberg]
• Phil Falcone's Harbinger is the latest hedge fund to limit redemptions. [DB]
• The board of the Federal Reserve of New York met with candidates over the weekend as part of their effort to find a replacement for Tim Geithner. [NYT]

Radio personalities Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh don't have much in common, but they do share a birthday: Howard is 55 today, while Rush is turning 58. Others celebrating: CNN's Christiane Amanpour is 51. Kirstie Alley is 58. Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is 45. Badgley Mischka's Mark Badgley is turning 48. Chef Rebecca Charles is turning 55. Actor Oliver Platt is 49. New York City Councilman James Oddo is 43. Rob Zombie is 44. And Heather Mills turns 41 today.

• It may be the end of the line for socialite Tinsley Mortimer and her husband Topper. The couple has been living apart since December, reportedly because Tinz is sick of Topper's "promiscuous ways." But considering this is the second time they've been married to one another, there's always the chance the third time will be the charm. [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is turning into quite the entrepreneur. She's reportedly in talks to launch a chain of gyms with her personal trainer. [DS]
• Amy Winehouse says she's finally off drugs and "feels like a new woman," although she also says that she hasn't quit drinking just yet. [NYDN]
• Madonna is reportedly beefing up her security detail following death threats from Islamic fanatics. [People.co.uk]
• A rundown of the winners at last night's Golden Globes. [E!]

Somehow, we're guessing there will be much more of this sort of writing from the Times' new columnist Bono, who in his debut effort visits a Dublin pub:

Bernie Madoff squandered $3 million of sister Sondra's money, so the 74-year-old must sell her $900,000 Palm Beach home. Maybe she could try the newly-popular local pawn shop.

Mickey Rourke got the finger, Kate Winslet dissed Angelina Jolie and Tracy Morgan proclaimed himself the new face of America. Everyone was especially coarse and punchy.

Those anonymous internet critics Tina Fey told to "suck it" in her Golden Globe acceptance speech tonight are actual posters on the LA Times' Envelope awards site. And mean!