• The broadcast of yesterday's inauguration earned the highest ratings since Reagan took the oath in 1981. Early numbers from Nielsen indicate 29% of US households tuned in. That figure doesn't factor in the people who viewed it online, and the big event in DC yesterday set web traffic records, too. [THR, NYT]
• The Wall Street Journal received a dozen envelopes filled with a mysterious white powder today. [WSJ]
• Maria Bartiromo has signed a new contract with CNBC. [NYP]
• Newsday editor John Mancini has returned to work following a dispute with the paper's owner, Cablevision's Jim Dolan. [Newsday, E&P]
• Clear Channel is laying off 9% of its work force. [AdAge]
• People pushed back its Tuesday afternoon deadline to Wednesday so it could publish a special double issue with Obama on the cover. [WWD]
• North Korea's news agency didn't bother to report the inauguration until late yesterday afternoon. The article was three sentences long. [FB]

Barack Obama's first actual act as president did not disappoint! (He will save disappointment for his next hundred officials acts, obv.) He suspended all the Guantanamo circus "trials"!

Grim news for residents of Greenwich: Real estate prices plunged the most in three decades in 2008—the median home price fell 7 percent—and the number of houses sold dropped by more than a third as the financial crisis roiled the finance-heavy suburb. Billionaire hedge fund manager Steve Cohen isn't selling his 31,642-square-foot, nine-bedroom palace, as far as we know. But if he were going to do so, it's safe to say having a 6,734-square-foot ice skating rink on your property isn't worth as much as it once was. [NYP]

Diane von Furstenberg was in Washington yesterday for the inauguration (who wasn't?) and says the experience gave her the "feeling that something major is happening." You think? Diane wasn't there alone, though. André Leon Talley served as her "chaperone," and she reports that ALT happens to be "a big star" with Obama fans. "People are constantly stopping him to pose for pictures... he complains a lot, but I am sure deep down he is happy." Just imagine how unhappy he'd have been if no one had noticed him at all! [DVF]

[Anne Hathaway at a DC Inaugural party last night; image via Splash]

All of the celebrities descended on Washington DC for yesterday's presidential ceremonies, in which former President Bush was pushed into the Potomac on an ice floe, never to be seen again. Read the dish!

Olivia Palermo, the tonged-haired, copiously-kohl-rimmed 22-year-old whose turn on The City has showcased at least ten gradations of bitchface, has achieved the kind of fame that every aspiring social with narcissistic personality disorder dreams of: According to the Post, she's the most-searched name on New York Social Diary and the New York Observer's site (oh, and look where she is here), she's "rumored" (by whom? Her publicist?) to be the model for Gossip Girl's Blair Waldorf, and all the other attention-seeking party girls must be, like, sooo jealous of her.

File this under things you didn't wake up this morning needing to know. Julie Imperiali, Nicolas Sarkozy's personal trainer, says she was hired by Carla Bruni last year to help the French president shed weight and improve his sexual stamina. The workout plan focuses "on the perinea muscles at the bottom of the pelvis," a regimen that addresses "problems of premature ejaculation." Glad to hear Sarkozy is getting the therapy needed to keep Carla a very happy first lady. And at least Michelle now knows who to contact if Barack's new job starts interferring with his performance in the White House's master bedroom. [NYP]

Britney Spears will somehow seduce a publisher into paying millions for three books from her; Lindsay Lohan wants to re-seduce Gotham via magazine spread and Dan Abrams keeps seducing actresses.

Today we have cheating TV people, a marked supermodel, secret gays and secret addicts and secret Republicans, and a kinky mayonnaise fetish.

It's been nothing but bad news for Giuseppe Cipriani these past few months and the family will face off in court against Rainbow Room landlord Tishman Speyer later this month. One person who probably won't be putting in a good word with the judge: Bloomberg food critic Ryan Sutton, who is so outraged by his recent "crummy three-course dinner for two" that cost $513 ($621 when you factor in the drinks) that he says that "the Ciprianis should be banished from the Rainbow Room." Also? "They should apologize for desecrating one of Manhattan's great sky-high vistas with sky-high prices for airline food. [Bloomberg]

Society chronicler David Patrick Columbia can't quite put his finger on it. Something is clearly different about Barack Obama. But what is it? He's just not sure! "I don't know if it's me, but he doesn't look like any other Presidents in memory. First of all he looks like a kid (although a mature one). That's probably because he's wiry. And he looks more like a college lecturer than a man who’s been wheeling and dealing among the wheelers and dealers of backroom politics." Yea, and he's also black. Try saying it aloud a few times. You'll get the hang of it eventually! [NYSD]

The emotional devastation caused by the recession, by careers imploding or nest-eggs disappearing, is often of a magnitude that requires professional help. But supposing you can't afford therapy? Luckily, Time is your substitute shrink this morning, and even better, its advice is quick, simple, and doesn't require sitting/lying in a small room for a hour a week. In a nutshell: You have permission to be sad, because sad people shop more and that's what the economy needs; you have permission to be mad, because angry people take risks and risky behavior is what makes this country great. (Let's perhaps not examine that part too closely.) Finally, you are strictly forbidden from being scared, you coward, because fear fosters inaction and pessimism. Basically, consider Alec Baldwin your role model and the country will be back in its feet before Barack has finished redecorating the Oval Office.

Forget the pundits, wonks, blowhard analysts and media commentators: In order to get some real insight into our new political era and what it may bring, let's consider the constellations of planets millions of miles from earth! Indian astrologer Bejan Daruwala, for example, predicts that Barack Obama, who is a Leo—he was born on August 4th, a birthday he shares with these people—will usher in peace and prosperity, and restore America's reputation with foreign nations.

• Want to share an elevator with Rupert Murdoch? Today is your lucky day. Les Wexner, the CEO of Limited Brands (and onetime mentor to Jeffrey Epstein), has "discreetly" listed his five-bedroom apartment at 834 Fifth Avenue for $60 million with brokers Serena Boardman and Larry Kaiser. Wexner and his wife Abigail originally purchased the co-op in "fixer-upper" condition for $9 million back in 1997. [NYO]
• Christopher Pesce, a managing director at Steve Schwarzman's Blackstone Group and the former global head of prime brokerage at Bank of America, has paid $6.3 million for a condo at 101 Warren Street in Tribeca. [Cityfile]
• Who says the Hamptons real estate market is dead? John Veronis, a co-founder of the boutique merchant bank Veronis Suhler Stevenson, has sold his six-bedroom, oceanfront home on Meadow Lane in Southampton for $27 million. [Newsday]

You'd be hard-pressed to travel anywhere in the world today, pick up a random newspaper, and not see Barack Obama on the front page.

Barack Obama is sitting behind a desk in the Oval Office this morning, charged with carrying out the most important job in the country. How is former presidential contender Rudy Giuliani passing the time these days? He's eating ice cream and violating traffic laws, apparently. A tipster tells Page2Live that the ex-mayor "abandoned his dark blue set of wheels in the middle of a turn lane" in Palm Beach yesterday, so he could pick up some sugar-free cappuccino ice cream at Sprinkles Café. Guess it's a good thing Palm Beach doesn't have an overly aggressive mayor who insists on punishing traffic offenders to the fullest extent of the law. [Page2Live]

Glamour editor-in-chief Cindi Leive turns 42 today. Artist Jeff Koons is 54. Placido Domingo is turning 68. Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen is turning 56. Geena Davis is 53. Singer Cat Marshall is 37. Legendary (and now retired) Post reporter Steve Dunleavy is celebrating his 71st birthday. Golf legend Jack Nicklaus is 69. Federal judge Kimba Wood is 65. Hollywood producer Mike Medavoy is turning 68. Political consultant/powerbroker Josh Isay is 39. And former Spice Girl Emma Bunton turns 33 today.

• Expect to see Tim Geithner grilled on Capitol Hill today over his failure to pay Social Security and Medicare taxes. Thanks to the financial crisis, you can also expect to see him confirmed very quickly. [Reuters, WSJ]
• Merrill Lynch clients withdrew $10 billion from accounts during in the fourth quarter, just as Bank of America completed its takeover of the firm. [BN]
• BofA is getting ready to cut another 4,000 jobs beginning this week. [FT]
• BlackRock, the biggest publicly traded U.S. asset manager, posted a 84 percent drop in profits in the fourth-quarter. [DB]
• The good news for Chrysler? The struggling automaker has found a savior in Fiat. The bad news? The deal is reportedly contingent on Chrysler getting $3 billion in additional government loans. [WSJ, NYT]

A clip of Barack Obama's first trip aboard Air Force One is online. (He took the flight before he was inaugurated yesterday, though, which is why you'll hear him described as "president-elect.") What will you learn about the most powerful man in the world if you spend two minutes watching the video? That he likes his burgers cooked medium-well, topped with cheddar cheese, Dijon mustard, lettuce, and tomato, and accompanied by French fries. When Obama puts on 30 pounds during the first few months of his presidency, now you'll know why. [AHT]