Rich and Famous Rang in New Day of Peace and Prosperity While You Worked
All of the celebrities descended on Washington DC for yesterday's presidential ceremonies, in which former President Bush was pushed into the Potomac on an ice floe, never to be seen again. Read the dish!
- Tensions ran high at Inauguration festivities when two former allies clashed. Ageless rock lady Sheryl Crow apparently had an awkward run in with her beautiful old boyfriend, the angelic Kid Rock. [P6]
- J. Lo and her faithful, eternal mummy manservant Marc Anthony had to push through crowds to get to an Inaugural party. With, like, regular people. The first great injustice of the glorious new regime. [P6]
- James Taylor, a lovely man, was wearing a hat and sunglasses at a Sunday night concert. It's because he fell and hit his head and needed stitches on his forehead. The incident involved a hotel room and a wooden parrot. [P6]
- Bloomberg was there. He got moved into a nicer section than he'd originally been given. Surprise. [P6]
- All the celebrities, all of them—Cher and Rihanna and Shakira and Elvira and Pyrex and Josh Groban—were in DC. Someone called it "the new Hollywood," which is true, but only for yesterday. Now DC returns to its rightful position, as the old Atlanta. [Politico]
- Urrsher thinks Obama is "old school." That must that Obama is "means nothing anymore" because "old school" means nothing anymore. [Reliable Source]
- All the celebrities somehow knew where the best restaurants in DC were. Beyoncé had a po'boy and Courteney Cox had sweet potato fries and Dustin Hoffman had mini cheeseburgers and shared one with the people next to him. They must have a Not For Tourists guides or something! Or maybe they just know. [RS]