Jon Stewart, 5' 7", wishing Conan O'Brien, 6' 4", well before the fellow late-night-TV Gothamite left for Los Angeles and the Tonight Show. Then they talked about who was more of a freak:

Alejandra Campoverdi zoomed from campaign intern to assistant to a deputy White House chief of staff with, we're told, no other political experience. But the "flirtatious" Obama staffer supposedly wanted more.

Samantha Power better have serious diplomatic skills: She's taking a foreign police job requiring "close contract and potential travel" with the woman she called a "monster," Hillary Clinton.

He might be the worst person in the world, but we don't actually recommend physically assaulting disgraced Lehman CEO Dick Fuld. But Bill O'Reilly is ready to pummel him—and it appears to be personal, too. The Fox News blowhard says he lost a bundle as a Lehman shareholder, and he'd now like to "know where [Fuld] lives so I can go beat him up." (The clip is above.) We'll help you out just this once, Bill. It's 37.4 miles from your house in Manhasset to Dick's home in Greenwich and it'll take you about 54 minutes. Here are the driving directions.

David Letterman is reportedly in talks to extend his CBS contact beyond 2010. The idea is to take ratings from Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show; further taunting Jay Leno is a fringe benefit.

Interview magazine parted ways with co-editorial director Fabien Baron just one year after re-hiring him. Baron, who helped relaunch Andy Warhol's title in 1990, may be launching his own publication.

Realizing posting foul-mouthed, fowl-pooped rants against his neighbor mightn't have been the gentlemanly thing to do (particularly considering construction of the Kutcher/Moore Cougar Den took a solid decade to complete), Kelso has tweeted an apologia.

· After three decades and a half-million hairstyles, Patti LaBelle finally reunites her eponymous R&B trio in LA at the Nokia Theater.

After Olivia Wilde's O.C. appearance established her as "the actress you hire to have lesbian sex scenes midway through a TV drama's run," she's found her unique wares haven't gone over as well at House.

Time Inc. just laid off 600 people, but that didn't keep the flagship magazine from sending, we're told, four editors to the plutocratic playground of Davos. They're acting as obnoxiously as possible, naturally.

Networks are starting to unveil key plans for Upfronts Week '09, that lavish rite of spring apparently unaffected by all this pesky talk of global economic collapse. Unless, of course, you work at NBC.

Pictured, tautly manboobed sexagenarian Sylvester Stallone, toasting Planet Hollywood's purchase of Buca di Beppo, who plan on extending the movie motif to the Italian chain by rechristening it Apastalypse Now.

• The star at Jean Paul Gaultier's couture show in Paris this week? Inès de la Fressange, a 51-year-old model and mother of two. [WSJ, SF]
• After six seasons away from Bryant Park, Narciso Rodriguez is returning to the tents this season. [WWD]
• Betsey Johnson says she plans to revive some of her old designs as part of a new line. [Pipeline]
• Sales of luxury goods are expected to fall 3% and 7% this year. [WSJ]
• Five trends from couture week in Paris to keep an eye on. [Pipeline]
• LVMH has confirmed it's helping out Gareth Pugh. [Vogue UK]
• The lookbook for Isaac Mizrahi's Liz Claiborne collection is online. [Racked]
• Fabien Baron is leaving Interview. [WWD]
• A pair of Sarah Palin's shoes sold on Ebay for $2,025. No joke. [NYM]

Here's what makes Rod Blagojevich such an evil genius: after being removed from office unanimously, he comes out onto his front porch and tells the media that he's a hero.

Sunday, Monday and Thursday are the important TV nights, but with NBC's Comedy Night Done Right in reruns, your difficult choices are easier tonight. There should be no crying over missed TV.

Is it any surprise that print is dying? Not for newspapers. In fits and starts since the 1970s and 1980s, they (and others) have been looking to go electronic but they screwed it up. Watch!

Interviewed today by People, last night's Top Chef casualty [spoiler alert!] Jeff McGinnes had some choice shit-talking words for head judge Tom Colicchio, before suggesting the show portrayed him as a shirt-a-phobic "sex object."

Crooked Illinois Governor Rod "BLAGO" Blagojevich has been impeached and convicted, ladies and gentlemen. Without a dissenting vote. He'll never hold elected office in the state again:

Now that everyone has finally called bullshit on Joaquin Phoenix, his rep has issued a denial of the rumor/CLEAR TRUE FACT that his music career is just a hoax. However, precious little is really denied:

"Pedestrians stop to watch a live broadcast in downtown Chicago, of impeached Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich deliver his closing argument at his impeachment trial in Springfield." [via AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast]