Here's comforting news for investors in Dan Loeb's hedge fund, especially those who may have been under the assumption the hedgie's been hard at work to make up for his disastrous performance in 2008: Loeb spent time at the World Economic Forum in Davos hanging out with fameseekers Julia Allison and Meghan Asha, and kindly flew the duo back to New York aboard his (rentable!) Gulfstream jet. We're sure his pleasant-sounding wife is positively delighted. [Gawker]

What's your problem? And why aren't you tweeting about it? Today, everyone from John Lithgow to Peter Kafka joined the bitterati in airing their gripes.

Often-angry American Psycho Batman Christian Bale has flipped out once again! This tape allegedly features his reaction to someone ruining a shot in Terminator Salvation. Thank god it wasn't something important.

We don't want to toot our horns or anything, but...hey, what's that loud, sustained honking? Shortly after SPC picked up An Education just as we'd prognosticated, Lionsgate has followed our other Sundance advice.

Ye gods, that much "bounty" could power the New York Media for a month! (Sadly—we checked—the story's not by our friend Chuck Blow.)

When ensnared in a vagina-kicking crisis of international proportions, celebrities have limited options: Either turn to the amateurs, or turn to us. Nikki Blonsky knows exactly what we're talking about.

• The city is accepting proposals from restaurateurs interesting in taking over Tavern on the Green. Be advised you may have to do battle with current owner Jennifer Oz LeRoy, who has vowed to hang on to the landmark eatery. [NYO]
• Shang's Susur Lee earns a two-star review from Adam Platt this week. [NYM]
• Lunetta on Broadway and 21st Street has closed after 15 months. [Eater]
• Kyle Bailey is replacing Neil Ferguson at Allen & Delancey. [NYT]
• Yet more tax trouble for the Cipriani clan. [NYP]
• Mega-restaurateur Stephen Starr, Alto owner Chris Cannon, and broker Steven Kamali on the troubles facing the city's restaurant economy. [NYT]
• Another ex-Hawaiian Tropic hostess is suing for sexual harassment. [NYDN]
• Mention the word "bailout" at the Chocolate Bar at Henri Bendel between now and the end of the month and you'll get a free brownie. [New Yorkology]

American companies spare no expense making their employees pay for the recession! Today's cuts: lunchtime, rubber bands, your, uh, job, and a full memo from Reed Business about everyone getting closer, and closer:

Bernie Madoff landed on Saturday Night Live this past weekend with Fred Armisen playing the alleged scamster. The skit involves Madoff trying to get his friends/victims to come over to his Super Bowl party. You can watch the clip—and hear Armisen's excellent old-Jewish-guy-from-Queens accent—after the jump.

Tales of tantrums can get exaggerated in the telling, but having now heard the audio, we can safely say Christian Bale's Terminator Salvation freakout on a DP who wandered into his shot is certifiably insane.

"This is a package that is responsive to this massive gap." That's not a line from an upcoming bailout porno. That's how Peter Orszag, Obama's budget director, really talks! And he's not the only one.

Vanity Fair Reuses 2007 Obama Cover for March 2009 Issue [NYO]

The ladies of The View will be bringing their lively political debate and unparalleled sling-mounting techniques to our area in March, taping a week of shows from the Disney lot in Burbank.

Remember late last year when Mayor Bloomberg announced plans to charge a 6-cent tax on plastic bags at grocery stores? The mayor downgraded the fee to 5 cents last week. The bad news is that it will now apply to all plastic bags, not just the ones from grocery stores. More bad news: This probably means more people are going to start carrying those FEED bags that Lauren Bush has been pushing for so long. [NYT]

· 90 million people got a face full of Bruce's Spare Parts yesterday. [Variety]

Heiressblogger and ultimate narrator Emily Brill is pulling some shenanigans! Her blog seems to have been erased. The ghostly message replacing it: "Hey New Yorkers, One year on the blog was always the plan. Now working on long term (and paying) projects. Yours, Emily"

In yesterday's Page Six Magazine we met the evil women who buy themselves twin babies, for attention. Turns out these ladies weren't happy with how they were portrayed! And neither was the story's author!

In your lovely Monday media column: Bill Keller speaks on the NYT's future (it'll be fine!), New York's least fun media Super Bowl party revealed, papers advertise, and more!

What kind of post-divorce boytoy do you get for the female superstar who's had them all? In Madonna's case, you go straight to Jesus (reinvented—as is her wont—as 22-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz).

Morgan Stanley shed about 7,000 jobs in 2008, but it appears more pain is on the way. The Journal reports that the firm plans to lay off an additional 1,500 to 1,800 people (about 3-4% of its work force) later this month, cuts that are expected to be made "across a broad range of units." [WSJ]