Here is a clip of becoiffed Good Morning America hostess Sam Champion introducing country singer Wynonna Judd. Only he calls her Winona Ryder. Realizing his mistake, Sammy shrieks "Judd!" as Wynonna begins to sing.

Hey, our friend David Denby was on Charlie Rose last night, going on and on about how he despises Maureen Dowd. Why didn't he just call his book "All I Know Is Maureen Dowd Sucks"?

No wonder Alan Rosenberg's rejected restraining-order appeal yesterday included a few errors: Any lawyer moving to SAG squabbles from a career in right-wing crisis management would encounter a severe learning curve at some point.

[First off, I apologize for that horrible headline. Anyway. That's Slumdog Millionaire cutie patootie Dev Patel in New York last night; image via INF]

Mickey Kaus seems to think that the fact that HuffPo's unpaid contributors and underpaid staffers aren't unionized is proof that unions are Bad and Don't Work and are Bad for America.

Bernie Madoff is complicating everything! Steve Simkin, a partner at the law firm Paul, Weiss is now suing his ex-wife Laura, demanding that she return the $2.7 million he gave her as part of a divorce settlement in 2006. Why? Because Simkin's money was invested with Madoff, of course, and the settlement was based on the assumption the couple had $5.4 million in their Madoff account. The couple says it took two years to negotiate their divorce the first time around. So you can expect to read a follow-up to this case in the paper in 2011 or so. [NYDN]

Former alleged Spitzer hooker #2 Kristin Davis: "I got the best response to my escort ad's in New York magazine. They're expensive, but that's where many of my clients got my phone number." [Steppin Out]

Yes, that beautiful, glamorous woman pictured is none other than Jude Law, whose new look suddenly precludes him from playing nanny to his children, lest he be moved to have an affair with himself.

Having second-guessed his nearly disastrous decision to squeeze into a spandex battlesuit (as Oscar-poisonous as a latex fatsuit) and climb into the Wrestlemania ring, Mickey Rourke is now onto stop #2 of his redemption tour:

What's this—rumors of more magazine death at Conde Nast? We've had enough. It's time to act. Vote on which teetering Conde mag you want to save, and we'll buy ten subscriptions to the winner.

Macy's announced plans earlier this week to lay off 7,000 workers as well as cut back on employees' retirement benefits. Last month, the struggling retail chain said it would shutter 11 of its 850 stores in the U.S. But the cutbacks don't appear to be impinging on company chief Terry Lundgren's jet-set lifestyle. Although Lundgren took a $2.5 million pay cut last year, the board helped make up for it by granting him a larger chunk of stock. (He earned a total of $14.4 million in compensation.) And despite Lundgren's claim to the press this week that "this is a time when nothing should be considered a sacred cow," his perks continue to cost the company a small fortune.

The moody pop/performance-art troupe Coldplay is getting ready for one of the biggest weekends of its career, rehearsing Grammy acceptance speeches even as its members prepare to dodge Joe Satriani's legal wrath.

Before you get upset, let me clarify. I mean ugly people. People who like to imagine that the (unending!!!!!) struggle between members of the opposite sex (the gay people are just cute little helpers in this movie's world, like forks and spoons from Beauty and the Beast) is quantifiable and universal. Here's a hint: it's not! And even the doggishly handsome Justin Long can't boil the whole gurgling circus down to a safe little o.b. size. So why are you spending money on the stupid movie, an act which tangentially involves giving Greg Behrendt money. You don't want to do that.

Like a weird uncle who gives his adult nephew a present that reads "From Santa," Joaquin Phoenix is still struggling to prop up a hoax-y music career that's way past its sell-by date.

Cold-eyed Hipsterwood blowjob recipient and woman-threatener Vincent Gallo is going to be appearing in some ads for H&M! A perfect fit, in Bizarro World. And, under "Too Good To Check": he calls bloggers GAY:

As rumored, the Hawaiian Tropic Zone in Times Square is closing. But it's not because dozens of women have sued the place for discrimination, assault, and harassment! The flesh factory is just shutting its doors on Saturday because it plans to make some much needed repairs and plans to re-open in May. "One has nothing to do with the other," says manager Jamie Galler. And if you believe that, you're probably also thinking that Rod Blagojevich will win the White House in 2012 and name Bernie Madoff his Treasury secretary. [Gothamist]

Tom Daschle, the respected health care wonk with the legislative experience and expertise needed to force health care reform through an obstructionist Senate, withdrew from the Obama cabinet because of the New York Times.

Erin Callan, the rising Wall Street star who became the chief financial officer of Lehman Brothers only to be ousted a few months before the firm filed for bankruptcy, is leaving the new job she started just five months ago. Callan is taking a "personal leave" from her job as head of Credit Suisse's hedge fund division; Dealbreaker is now suggesting she could have had a nervous breakdown this morning. [Bloomberg]

Oh shucks, now there are layoffs at Bloomberg. Which brings the number of remaining media companies with good job security to, hmm, let me check here... none.

Not that we would ever imply that you won't be taught everything you need to know about the mysteries of dating by the He's Just Not That Into You movie (even though it made the Observer's Sara Vilkomerson "not want to be a member of the entire human race"), but a new study has shown that a woman should indeed play hard to get unless she wants to end up a lonely spinster, cursing the day she decided not to buy a copy of The Rules.