Firmly establishing The Ellen DeGeneres Show as the place where disgruntled Grey's Anatomy actors can go to seethe about their dropped costars, Eric Dane appeared today and was promptly asked about Katherine Heigl.

Produced by American Idol peddlers FremantleMedia and purchased by an exec at Fox we can only imagine no longer has a job, Osbournes Reloaded first came to attention for refusing to hire WGA writers—a cynical, cost-cutting decision that elicited an angry letter from Guild heads Patric Verrone and Michael Winship.

Perez Hilton saw a market opportunity, Michelle Malkin saw her kid, Jimmy Fallon saw Martha Stewart, and CNN's Rick Sanchez saw red! Today's tweets from the media elite:

Caught outside of Mr. Chow by an inquisitve Hollywood.tv paparazzo, Howard commented on the Rihanna/Brown situation with a sighed, "It's just life, man." he then added, "Chris is a great guy, man. He'll be all right. And Rihanna knows he loves her, you know? They'll be alright. 'Cause everybody gotta get out of their way, you know what I mean?" Yes, we do—it means that the Howard-mocking Jamie Foxx has a lot more material now. [Celebuzz]

The first teaser for Quentin Tarantino's new WWII movie Inglourious Basterds is out. I love Tarantino and have a strange affinity for WWII movies, so why am I so... disappointed?

As much as Warner Bros. would love for Christopher Nolan to begin working on a follow-up to The Dark Knight, like, yesterday, new reports reveal that his plans for a Bat-sequel are being put off.

Congress lived the dream today, just straight-up yelling at some bankers. Watch and enjoy the shaming and grandstanding!

Fashion Week this year will just be full of commoners and riff-raff, because people are scalping "tickets" for it all over Craigslist! The five priciest—and five cheapest—"tickets" below. Buy some for the hobos!

Gosh, is it time for another cycle of America's Next Top Model already? Seems like just yesterday that Tyrabot stepped out of the Glamonator 11.0 to survey the latest crop of potential Lashtblasht Shlashes spokesmannequins.

Like fashion before it, the fancy food industry needs to change its rules a bit to get your business. Starbucks is doing McDonald's-style value meals, while Tom Colicchio's swanky steak house is halving prices.

We've been beside ourselves with worry after receiving word of a possible fire on the Ellen set. (Where's Iggy? Where's Portia? Where's DJ Tony Okungbowa???) We're happy to report there's no cause for alarm:

The CEOs of eight big banks appeared on Capitol Hill today to take a beating before the House Financial Services Committee. Not surprisingly, members of the committee spent much of the day squeezing in bits designed to earn points with constituents, an amusing reminder that the only thing worse than Wall Street chief executives taking taxpayer dollars to lavish them on employees are semi-literate Washington bureaucrats in cheap ties looking to score airtime on KWCH in Wichita.

Out of fairness to Quentin, Harv, and the whole Basterds gang working so hard to bring you all the Nazi-scalping excellence you deserve, we bring you now the official HD Basterds trailer.

Earlier this month we told you about rumors of serious money troubles at Vibe , said to have endangered the March issue. The company denied that. But the "money troubles" part was obviously accurate:

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams engaged to be married. [Us]

• Fat Hippo has opened in the space that used to house 71 Clinton. [GS]
• The Times's Frank Bruni gives out two stars today to April Bloomfield and Ken Friedman's "putatively British" John Dory. [NYT]
• A number of struggling restaurants are planning to stay open until just after they "make their nut" on Valentine's Day. [NYO]
• There was an electrical fire at 10 Downing last night. [Eater]
• Some genius is trying to open a "ping pong social club." Todd Oldham is designing it and it will be sponsored by Fred Perry. [NYO]
• Please refrain from calling Gordon Ramsay a "cook." He's a chef. [EMD]

Now we get the "Obama won and is back on top" pieces, right? Because the stimulus looks like it'll sail through the joint committee. But the bill is—oh no!—smaller.

If you had any doubts that Joaquin Phoenix will push his hoaxy rapper persona into the depths of career ignominy, let his Two Lovers director fill you in on his insane level of commitment.

If you're in desperate need of a laugh today (or you're just looking for something to offend your politically correct sensibilities), have a look at this video clip from a wacky Japanese game show. It features a couple of actors dressed up as Barack and Michelle Obama. Performing magic tricks. Consider it a little palate cleanser before you sit down to watch more dispiriting news about the economy on cable television tonight.

Silicon Valley is the land of dreams. Here's Elon Musk's dream: His electric-car startup has hundreds of millions of dollars in government loans and a bright financial future. Too bad that's all in his head.