Just when you thought drugmaker AstraZeneca couldn't get any more evil, the company's US medical director confesses to trading Vicodin for sex (no, not with Moe) and "pumping" another for classified information. To the quotes!

Do you want to become a part of history? Fax a photograph to 718.384.1208 by 4pm.

Hey all you Weekenders out there, did you catch the New York Times' story on how the press is obsessed with the most trifling things about the Obama administration? What a tarantella of self-awareness!

It's technically shabbos but the gossip wheels keep churning. No rest for the weary, I suppose. Up next: broken hearts, broken contracts, broken skin and the return of demon Zoe.

There is a warrant out for the muff-diving drunk-driving star of I Know Who Killed Me Lindsay Lohan. The warrant was issued by the LAPD last night but need Lohan be worried?

Have some info to share with us? Direct it here. Many thanks!

CNBC didn't do the honorable thing and shut down today. So, Jim Cramer still has his psychotic money clown show which he opened tonight with the sort of humor that makes him a broadcast treasure.

This week an occasionally serious comedian feuded with the goofiest and honestly least worst mascot of a shitty financial network and it was HUGE NEWS.

How much coffee did Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg drink before going on Oprah? We've never seen the 24-year-old Harvard dropout talk this fast. Instead of nervous pauses, he filled the air with spew.

World's worst senator Jim Bunning got in trouble last month for guaranteeing the imminent death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. But now Ginsburg just went and did the same thing! Unfair!

• A camera crew followed Rachel Zoe around during Paris Fashion Week, which means the second season of her Bravo reality show is headed your way. [FWD]
• Dov Charney's cash-strapped American Apparel is selling 18 percent of the company to a private equity firm to pay down some of its debt. [BN]
• The hat Aretha Franklin wore to the inauguration in January? More than 5,000 orders have been placed since then. At $179 a pop, no less. [NYT]
• Video of Karl Lagerfeld at Paris Fashion Week. [NYM]
• What's Sofia Coppola up to these days? She's directing perfume ads for Dior, that's what. [NYT/The Moment]
• Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone are on their way to Brazil for a little post-fashion season R&R, in case you're interested. [FWD]
• LA Fashion Week begins tonight! [Racked, Stylefile]

[Yesterday's sunset seen from the Empire State Building; image via Pr3liator's Flickr. Click for larger.]

Bernie Madoff's lawyers filed documents in court today detailing all of his assets and monthly expenses. (They were submitted as part of an appeal to release him from prison prior to his sentencing in June; good luck with that.) The documents indicate Madoff had assets worth $823 million as of the end of last year, although $700 million of that consists of his stake in Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, and his company may be worth a tad less than that given what's transpired the past few months. (If, however, you're interested in paying that kind of money for the prestigious firm that bears the Madoff name, Lazard Frères would be positively delighted to hear from you.) As for his expenses, Madoff says that it costs him $326,757.85 a month to maintain his various homes, boats, and household employees. So where does all that money go exactly? You can go here to see every line item. Or click on the photo above for a few totally random details pulled from the court documents. [NYT]

Oh, wonderful. The conspiracy nuts who think Barack Obama FAKED HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE have a friend in Congress.

[The Kreepie Kats and their Kreepie Friends watched the Jon Stewart Where-is-the-Money special! And they loved it!]

In today's famous people Twitter stunts, talk-show lesbian Ellen DeGeneres wanted a million Twitter followers by today. She's almost 13% there! Meanwhile Jon Favreau has taken celebrity Twitter posting to its logical conclusion.

Denial appears to be the official position on Jim Cramer following his pantsing by Jon Stewart. CNBCers don't believe there's a problem, while MSNBC is doing their best to pretendCramer doesn't exist.

Shepard Smith is secretly the best anchor on television (well, it's not a secret to non-crazy Fox viewers and Esquire readers*). Today he just made fun of Glenn Beck for an hour.

Oh some casino called, quote, "Indiana Live!" thought it would be so cool to have an ad with a fake Barack shilling for their casino, called, again, "Indiana Live!" It was not cool with Barack.

After spending just one night in jail, Bernie Madoff wants out. His lawyers will appeal the decision to revoke his bail while he waits to be sentenced for running a Ponzi scheme.