Bill O'Reilly's standard method of public discourse is to have people ambushed by cameramen and producers vetted for their shouting ability. Try to find one single difference between O'Reilly's guys and a psychopathic stalker:

Lindsay Lohan is having money trouble, at least according to unnamed friends of the starlet who tell the Daily News today that Lindsay is "living on credit right now" since "she has no cash," and is supporting herself thanks to Sam Ronson. Her financial predicament isn't because she's turning down cheesy commercials (as this Italian spot makes clear), or because she has any issue with slapping her name on any number of products, like leggings or spray-on tanner. Just in case that isn't clear, look no further than former nightlife promoter-turned-entertainment marketer Mike Heller, who was profiled over the weekend in amNew York and who has been working with Lohan to "exploit" her "brand."

Brash young New York Times metroblogger and heir to the empire AG Sulzberger is already being allowed to summarize the Sunday news shows. The future of journalism, in more ways than one! [NYT; Pic via]

David Paterson: no one likes him anymore, though he's still better than the last, like, 10 governors. We only like him more after reading his insane love letter to his disgraced former aide.

Gwyneth Paltrow carrying daughter Apple after lunch Da Silvano ... Howard Stern walking home from a workout with his daughter Ashley ... Agyness Deyn getting a drink at Liquiteria on Second Avenue ... Mary-Kate Olsen leaving her apartment in the West Village ... Hugh Jackman riding Razor scooters around the Village with his daughter Ava ... Kristen Johnson walking her dog downtown ... Michelle Williams kissing Spike Jonze on the sidewalk ... and Matthew Broderick walking to his birthday dinner at Gradisca on West 13th with Sarah Jessica Parker and their son James.

Marie Douglas-David, the Swedish countess divorcee who is demanding $100 million from her soon-to-be-ex-husband to meet her $53,000-per-week minimum needs, is now telling her side of the story: her husband's a divorce sex fiend!

The Post reported today that JPMorgan Chase, which collected $25 billion in bailout money last fall, has placed orders for two new Gulfstream 650 jets. The total cost? About $119 million. But ABC News reports that in addition to the cost of the planes, the bank is paying another $18 million to build "the premiere corporate aircraft hangar on the eastern seaboard," a structure that will feature "reclaimed wood, quarry tile and a vegetated roof garden." What, no zen garden? [NYP, ABC, photo]

You may be worrying about losing your job or defaulting on your mortgage, but you can take heart in the fact you're not alone: Dasha Zhukova is right there with you! The 27-year-old gallery owner, magazine editor, socialite, and girfriend of billionaire Roman Abramovich, told reporters at the opening of her Garage gallery in Moscow last week that she's been "as affected by the crisis as anyone else." Unlike everyone else, though, Dasha has no plans to let her financial worries get her down; she remained, says one reporter, "determined not to let the financial crisis get in the way of a good party." Because even if her boyfriend is worth half as much as he was last year, he still has $8.5 billion. And that still leaves plenty of room for an occasional party or art show. "The Garage will go on," she told the guests in attendence. Clearly! [The First Post]

Because they're lesbians. No, seriously, that is why both the famous actress and the famous photographer are FLAT BROKE. Because of godless girl-love. Also, Matt Lauer ran into a deer.

Private things you'll discuss publicly today: a ratlike fashion editor, a cokey former tabloid editor, a star's cheating husband, a gay TV icon who likes pee, and an OCD celeb:

Author Daphne Merkin penned an op-ed piece for the Times yesterday and once again offered up a few thoughts on the scandal concerning her brother, disgraced money manager Ezra Merkin, who steered more than $1.5 billion to Bernie Madoff and who has since been forced to shut down his funds amid half a dozen lawsuits. This time, though, Daphne attaches a disclaimer to her piece, albeit one that might strike any rational person as a touch inadequate: "I did not know Mr. Madoff nor did I invest with his firm, but have a sibling who did business with him." Did business indeed! But that's not the only bizarre bit.

How in the world can you make an online news site full of foreign coverage profitable these days? With gimmicks! How would you like to speak to a real live reporter, on the telephone?

Take two deeply unfortunate but unrelated situations—the recession is making people spend less on cosmetic surgery and Dr. Drew Pinsky has a book to plug—and you have the basic ingredients for the Daily News' marginally convincing state-of-the-nation argument today: that America has abandoned its obsession with beauty, glamour, and celebrities in favor of "what's important."

• Hedge funder Scott Bommer and his wife Donya have lowered the price of their 29th-floor apartment at the Ritz-Carlton, which they purchased for $28.5 million last July and put on the market for $35 million in November. It's now listed at $29.75 mil. [Cityfile, Corcoran]
• Jeff Koons has closed on the purchase of a six-story townhouse at 11 East 67th Street for $12 million, two years after he first went into contract. [NYP]
• Loews heiress Laurie Tisch—daughter Bob and Joan, sister of Jonathan and Steve—paid $29 million for a 13th-floor apartment at 834 Fifth Avenue. Her new upstairs neighbor? Rupert Murdoch. [NYO, previously]
• Former Lehman exec Jack Rivkin has put his 7,000-square-foot home off Further Lane in Amagansett on the market for $31 million. [Newsday, Sotheby's]

Keri Russell turns 33 today. Kenneth Cole turns 55. Chef Tom Valenti is 50. Author Jonathan Ames is 45. Ex-con shoe mogul Steve Madden turns 52. Real estate broker Leslie Garfield turns 77. Actress Catherine Keener is 50. Disgraced ex-Times reporter Jayson Blair is 33. Chaka Khan is turning 56. Actress Michelle Monaghan is turning 33. Perez Hilton is 31. Ric Ocasek of The Cars is 60. Princess Eugenie, the daughter of Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew, is turning 19. And John Bobbitt—remember him?—turns 42 today.

• Bruce Willis tied the knot with Victoria's Secret model Emma Heming this weekend at his home in Turks & Caicos. He's 54; she's 30. Guests at the wedding included his daughters, Madonna, and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. [NYP, LAT]
• Natasha Bedingfield got married on Saturday, too, to a California businessman in Malibu. [People]
• 64-year-old tech billionaire Jim Clark married his 28-year-old girlfriend this weekend with a four-day event on Richard Branson's Necker Island. Guests included Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber and Ed Norton. [NYP]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart finally got engaged. [People]
• Alas, it's not all happy news: Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. have reportedly broken up. [NYM]

• Tim Geithner has unveiled his latest plan to deal with the financial crisis. This one involves a partnership between the government and private investors, and could eventually involve buying up to $1 trillion in toxic assets from banks, although it isn't generating unanimous support. "It fills me with a sense of despair," says the Times's Paul Krugman. [WSJ, NYT, BN, NYT]
• New documents over the weekend indicate AIG paid out $218 million in bonuses, more than the previously disclosed $165 million. [Reuters]
• Here's another way to look at the AIG mess: If those bonuses hadn't been paid, the U.S. government may have had $1.7 trillion to worry about. [NYP]
• That trip to AIG on Saturday? Lots of reporters, many fewer protesters. [AP]
• Obama reiterated his support for Geithner on 60 Minutes. [Dealbreaker]

OK, stop Barack Obama if you've heard this one: What's the only thing worse than having a 60 Minutes correspondent ask if the laughing president is "punch drunk" in the middle of an interview?

Barely four months ago, MSNBC nearly doubled Keith Olbemann's annual salary to $7.5 million. Now the network says Chris Matthews has re-upped without much of a raise. Ouch.

For years, newspaper executives whined that parasitic bloggers thrived by merely linking to newspaper stories. But they're no longer linking enough: Newspapers now demand Google rig its link-counting system in their favor.