CrooksandLiars founder John Amato posted a "blog" on what to do when Fox News' Bill O'Reilly's stalker/producer ambushes you. It's pretty useful, if you are a filthy slut feminazi blogger! But it could be simplified.

The NAACP, once America's premier civil rights group but now even less influential than PETA, has sent a letter to America's biggest advertisers demanding that they hire agencies that have black executives. Does anyone care?

High school kids' top "Dream schools": Stanford, Harvard, and Columbia. Frat Party Aspirations Fail.

If you've been feeling in less than sparkling health lately, don't blame your diet of Hostess cupcakes and Marlboro Lights: It's work that shortens life expectancy, say experts. Jobs with high stress and low autonomy trigger cardiovascular disease, it turns out. But even unstressful and dull jobs are dangerous: "If you spend your working life in a job that's basically boring," warns one Dr. Doom, "you're at risk of dying sooner." If it's any consolation, the idle rich aren't immune to life-threatening conditions: Apparently, affluence "provides no protection from the ill effects of tobacco." And there we were thinking that inhaled carcinogens would know to behave themselves in the lungs of an expensively-dressed resident of the 10021!

A word of advice: If you happen to be a hotel manager and you notice an employee come to work with a bit of ash on his forehead, you may want to check a calendar before demanding that he "wipe that fucking shit off." It could be Ash Wednesday! Unfortunately, no one bothered to mention this to Niklaus Leuenberger, the (former) managing director of the Palace Hotel who was fired on Monday for doing just that. Of course, the rather unique location of the hotel probably didn't help Leuenberger's cause. Not only is the Palace conveniently located across the street from St. Patrick's, the church owns the property the hotel sits on, too. [NYDN]

[Britney Spears performing on her tour in Washington DC; image via INF]

The 16-year-old who's confessed to killing radio newsman George Weber — identified as John Katehis by the New York Post — used MySpace to profess his love for sex, violence, knives and Satanism.

Zac Efron continues his reign of mild terror, Freida Pinto is cool beans, George Lopez gets a talk show (shudder), and two fine actors will play two fine politicians in a flick about the Clintons.

With hype for the April opening of Topshop's Soho store going into hysterical overdrive, those in charge of managing the PR must be thrilled to see that the Brit girls in New York are patriotically unequivocal in their enthusiasm for the brand. Especially since the descriptions of the clothes they share with the Observer's Meredith Bryant are so, uh, evocative, not to mention the fact that British accents—indicated by plentiful emphatic italicization—lend authority to more or less any random string of words!

Everybody has a hobby. Spencer Morgan's hobby is writing profiles of New York's most annoying (or just quirky!) guys in the New York Observer. Neil S.'s hobby is erotic gay hypnotism. Hobby intersection alert!

Whoremaster and adult diaper fetishist (oh, and US Senator) David Vitter freaked the fuck out in an airport earlier this month. He will not be charged, because motherfucker can get away with anything.

Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri arriving at LaGuardia ... Hilary Duff filming scenes for Law & Order in Harlem ... Claire Danes walking with Hugh Dancy in Soho ... Jason Bateman arriving at City Stages on West 19th ... 50 Cent leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Edie Falco walking along the Hudson River with her kids and her dog ... Reese Witherspoon walking by herself ... Sarah Jessica Parker heading to the set of her new movie on the Upper East Side ... Jennifer Aniston leaving her hotel downtown ... and Ciara leaving dinner at the Waverly Inn, shortly after Russell Simmons and Nick Cannon made their exits.

On this frigid spring morn we have an actor whose ladyfriend is addicted to cocaines, but he's none the wiser, an actress who tends to throw up her food, and a model who likes people.

As the Gersh Kuntzman cited above, I can tell you that Gawker needs to do a little legwork before posting stories. No one called my office from Gawker to ask about the alleged "excuses" I made, so it's difficult for me to understand how this site can report, as fact, that I made "excuses."

Life was easier when financial Masters of the Universe were a shadowy silent overclass hermetically insulated from mortals. Now they're sending self-righteous resignation letters to the New York Times and we have to read them.

Remember the iconic New York Magazine sign on Madison and 49th? Now it's a Burberry sign. Metaphor contest! We say "The triumph of the fetish over the fetishist." Sad for history. [Racked; Click to enlarge.]

It's not just real estate and jewelry that's getting sold off amid the downturn. New Yorkers are selling off their genetic assets these days, too. Reps at the Sperm Bank of New York say there's been as much as a 25 percent increase in applications since December, while a local fertility center claims the number of women looking to sell their eggs—for a $10,000 payday—has doubled. Do note, though, that the centers say applicants are put through a "battery of screenings" to rule out anyone suffering from "economically induced stress." So if you've been reduced to ejaculating into a cup for cash, try and put on a brave face and not look too depressed about it. [AMNY]

An "emotionally disturbed" 16 year-old has confessed to killing ABC radio newsman George Weber in his Brooklyn apartment last Friday, in what appears to be rough sex gone very wrong.

• Pharmaceutical exec Richard Ullman's $75 million duplex at 15 CPW isn't the only major listing he has on the market at the moment. He's also put his 44th-floor condo at the Trump International—which he picked up for $8 million five years ago—up for sale for $18.45 million. [NYO, Trump Realty]
• One Life to Live star Catherine Hickland and her estranged husband, fellow soap opera actor Michael Knight of All My Children, have sold their 12th-floor co-op at 255 West 84th Street for $2.3 million. [Cityfile]
• Broadway producer Marty Richards has paid $4.375 million for a three-bedroom apartment at 21 East 96th Street. [NYO]
• Glenview Capital partner Jeffrey Patterson and his wife Patricia have listed their four-bedroom triplex at 15 East 82nd Street for $12 million, less than a year after buying it for $9.9 million. [NYO, BHS]

Institutional Investor's Alpha magazine released its ranking of the top 25 hedge fund managers today. You'll be happy to hear that even though most people ended 2008 on a gloomy note, a handful of men who were already worth billions made billions more last year thanks to their canny trading strategies or the fact they predicted (correctly!) that a major shakeout was headed our way. In first place was Jim Simons, the former math professor who started the hedge fund Renaissance Technologies and who earned $2.5 billion on the basis of his complex computer-driven approach to the market. In second place: John Paulson, who totally saw the housing market was going to hell in a handbasket, bet big as a result, and has $2 billion to show for his efforts.