Finally, science has come up with a truly useful tool for single women to use on their manhunt, and even better, it will negate the entire demoralizing industry of Greg Behrendt-style books. According to researchers, if a man makes eye contact with a woman for at least 8.2 seconds, he is just that into her; any less and you're wasting your precious time, risking your future happiness, and squandering any hope of marriage and babies! We suggest going out on Friday night with a large, conspicuous stopwatch in your hand, just to add an extra filter to any men who might be less than serious in their intentions. [DM]

How desperate is Raymond Weil president Benny Shabtai to unload his townhouse at 870 Park Avenue? Desperate enough to cut more than $13 million off its price, apparently. The 13-room, 11,875-square-foot Robert A.M. Stern-designed mansion, which has been on-and-off the market since 2004, was listed with Paula Del Nunzio for $33 million in March 2008. Since then, Shabtai has switched brokers (he's hired Carrie Chiang) and cut the price twice, dropping it down to $26.75 million last September and then down to $19.95 million earlier this week. A floorplan and photos of the renovated spread—which features a double-height living room, spiral staircase, a paneled library, six bedrooms, and a four-passenger elevator—after the jump.

Mid-week, everyone needs to freshen up. Barbara Walters craves a clean break from ABC, reportedly; Robert Pattinson needs a shower and Bruce Willis might never be able to wash off the slime.

Sarah Jessica Parker is turning 44 today. Gloria Steinem turns 75. Elton John is 62. Daniel Boulud is turning 54. Socialite Arden Wohl turns 26. Matthew Barney is 42. Eileen Ford is 87. Aretha Franklin turns 67. Marcia Cross is 47. Today Show film critic Gene Shalit is turning 77. Katharine McPhee is 25. Race car driver Danica Patrick turns 27. The rapper Juvenile is turning 34. And actress Lark Voorhies, best known as Lisa Turtle on Saved by the Bell, is turning 35.

Why would a rich guy sleep with his trophy wife and another woman? Because he's a lying cheat? Or because his uncontrollable Swedish bride knew he was leaving but took his body anyway?

• Matt Lauer's "deer incident" won't keep him down for long. He's reportedly in "good spirits" after undergoing surgery yesterday to repair a separated shoulder and will be back to work in a few days. [Star]
• How did Bruce Willis meet his new wife, Emma Heming? He picked her out during a casting call, just like any normal person. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan is sick of "people telling lies" about her since she's "really a good person" who just wants to put in a honest day's work. Got that? Good. [People, Us]
• Barbara Walters is planning to quit ABC in the near future so she can "spend more time with her boyfriend, Dr. Robert Butler." Or at least that's what "industry insiders" are telling the Enquirer. [NE]
• The cutbacks at Condé Nast continue: Editors like David Remnick and Ruth Reichl have been forced to take the subway! [NYP]

A proposed overhaul of British elementary schools, commissioned by the government, would make mandatory education in blogging, podcasting, Wikipedia and Twitter. Queen Victoria and World War II, not so much.

• Congress's efforts to recoup bonuses at AIG appear to have cooled over the past few days. And President Obama will make an effort to repair relations with Wall Street when he sits down with a dozen bank CEOs on Friday. [WSJ]
• More on Tim Geithner's proposal yesterday that the government be given the authority to take control of troubled financial institutions. [NYT]
• HSBC is planning to lay off 1,200 people in the UK. [DB]
• Hedge funders may see pay drop by as much as 25 percent this year. [BN]
• A Steve Rattner-less Quadrangle Group has decided to temporarily suspend efforts to raise a third private equity fund. [peHUB]
• More big names have decided to leave Merrill Lynch. [FT, WSJ]
• AIG says it sold two of its jets and has cancelled delivery of two more. [ABC]
• An employee with AIG shares his resignation letter: He says he's been "betrayed by AIG" and "unfairly persecuted by elected officials." [NYT]

David Letterman made an honest woman of his sweetheart, and this is how the gods reward him: Blake Lively, still nursing a childhood Letterman crush, tempted the Late Show host with a threesome.

Being repeatedly exposed as factually incorrect or as a hypocrite doesn't seem to have hurt Bill O'Reilly's ratings. But a few more descriptions of him as a creepy stalker might do the trick.

Woz's quip:

The president fielded questions tonight about his daughters, the attorney general of New York and a kooky Chinese plan for an international currency. Anything on the nitty-gritty of his trillion-dollar bank bailout? Nope.

The discontent among Beltway-prestigious news outlets is reportedly palpable: Barack Obama didn't call on the New York Times, Washington Post or Wall Street Journal tonight, but did call on a bunch of hippie freaks.

The economy might seem to be melting before your very eyes, America, but before you burn down the homes of any AIG executives, listen to the soothing words tonight from our ubiquitous president.

Congratulations, Facebook users! You've successfully gotten the message through to user-surly CEO Mark Zuckerberg that his redesign is made of fail. He sent product director Chris Cox to blog an apology.

• Barneys is trimming staff: The company cut 76 jobs today. [Crains]
• Topshop's signage is here! And a whole bunch of people will be on hand for the big opening on April 1, naturally. [Racked, NYP]
• Sign o' the times: The old New York sign in Midtown has been replaced by one for Burberry. [Racked]
• The Valentino doc did pretty well for itself its opening weekend. [FWD]
• Tiffany posted a sharp drop in fourth quarter profit. [NYT]
• Remember those fish pedicures that generated so much press a few months back? You may want to note the practice is now banned in 14 states. [WSJ]

How does Eric Schmidt do it? The computer nerd runs Google, has Obama's ear, parks his jet fleet in a NASA hangar, and has a rocking girlfriend. Is she the reason he flies so much?

Gov. David Paterson is so unpopular that he may have to fend off Andrew Cuomo in the 2010 Democratic gubernatorial primary. Maybe it's time to take a page from the Cuomo playbook and give the ol' iron fist a try? Paterson announced today that he plans to lay off 8,900 state employees now that unions have refused to make concessions on pay and benefits. [NYDN]

The editor-in-chief of The National, an English-language newspaper based in Abu Dhabi, makes $430,000 per year, according to a spreadsheet of the paper's payroll leaked to WikiLeaks.

Why isn't there, like, an iPhone app that does all your actual work so you can spend your day chatting with friends on Twitter? Touré, Courtney Hazlett, and Kurt Andersen puzzled over similar questions: