Albany restaurant critic Steve Barnes was viciously beaten last October by two thugs he'd never seen before. An arrest has been made! And he's got shadowy connections to the seedy Albany restaurant world!

In your temporarily de-Nolanated Friday media column: Hearst learns that investigations don't require ink, a lefty New York radio station gets locked out, Bill Keller's irony goes unappreciated, and Andrew Sullivan gets some help.

A judge has frozen the assets of Peter Madoff, the brother of Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff, and granted him $10,000 a month in living expenses. How is he supposed to live on that?

Last Friday, the CEOs of 15 of the biggest banks headed to Washington to meet with the president and discuss the financial crisis and the rising anger and frustration on the part of the public. The attendees went to great lengths to describe the meeting as friendly and productive. But it was hard to imagine how warm and fuzzy it could have been given it was also painfully clear that much of the frustration had been exacerbated by the banks themselves by, say, taking billions from Washington and then spending it things like new office suites. Well, it turns out it wasn't such a fun encounter after all, according to one person who attended the session and described what went down to Politico.

The governor of South Carolina will accept the stimulus money and France will take ONE Guantanamo prisoner off our hands.

Madonna's lawyer says she plans to appeal a judge's ruling that she cannot adopt a second child from Malawi. [AP]

You've heard about the fried chicken restaurants that have been renaming themselves in honor of Barack Obama, haven't you? At least three spots have adopted the president's name in recent months, and while it isn't illegal to do so per the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, some people are a little miffed about it. Like City Councilman Charles Barron. He's giving one restaurant until Monday to change its awning or else he'll organize a protest. The game of chicken begins, it seems. [AMNY, TSG]

It's gross and rainy out, plus there's no news, so here are three funny(ish) clips from morning TV. Lachey doesn't know where Cairo is, Saget likes pot, and Fred Armisen does his best Behar.

At first gossip is shameful, then it becomes linkbait. Media gadfly Michael Wolff starts his daily jotting for Newser.com today: "What do men in their fifties and sixties know about girls in their twenties?"

Sarah Palin is outraged that Alaskans elected Mark Begich instead of reelecting Ted Stevens, Heroic Bear-Wrestler and Un-convicted Felon. She demands a do-over! And no one serious agrees!

[Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker filming their new movie in New York; image via Splash]

The wheels seem to be coming off at Facebook after the ouster of CFO Gideon Yu. We hear another executive is leaving the social network to spend more time with his family.

• Bill Keller says that New York Times readers have offered to donate money to keep the paper alive, which is both very sad and very sweet. [Politico, NYP]
• Hearst has asked all of its newspapers to reduce costs by 20 percent. [BN]
• The launch of Oprah's cable network has been pushed back to 2010. [NYP]
• Eliot Spitzer will hit the Today show on Monday, presumably to talk about the financial crisis, not about his personal life. [NYO]
• Tensions are reportedly running high at MSNBC after the network decided to give Ed Schultz a show and bump Norah O'Donnell and David Shuster. [P6]
• Breaking! The media appears to be rather fond of Michelle Obama. [WaPo]
• Last night's series finale of ER generated big ratings for NBC. [NYT]
• Is Google about to acquire Twitter? Not so much, says Kara Swisher. [ATD]

News Corp. baron Rupert Murdoch has Kindle envy, wants his own e-book reader.

Marcy Simon, the former mistress of Google CEO Eric Schmidt, has landed a PR gig at Mark Penn's Burson-Marsteller. We hear her new job is stirring up antitrust trouble for Google at Microsoft's behest.

An unusual and emotional series, 'In Treatment' brings dynamic focus to a staple of modern society - the psychotherapy session. The show follows psychoanalyst Paul Weston (Gabriel Byrne, who won a Golden Globe® for his role) through his week, capturing sessions with his patients.

Former kiddie star Hilary Duff has been seen all around New York City recently, but this is by far our favorite sighting. Freemans restaurant, shitfaced with friends, shrieking at another patron (also drunk).

Chris Dodd should be one of those safe Senators-for-life. He's a Connecticut Democrat and he's been in congress since 1975. He's untouchable, like Teddy Kennedy. But the industry he actually represents fucked America over.

Members of Mayor Bloomberg's administration announced last week that the city was making "real progress" combating homelessness. Allow us to respectfully disagree! [Flickr]

Hah, activist judges in Iowa just forced everyone in that state of corn and fiction workshops to get gay married, right away. Does Iowa have gays? Besides a couple of the fiction workshop attendees maybe?